NationStates Jolt Archive

The Cup of Harmony is Nigh

Coming Soon to the Shores, Fields, Plains, and Mountains of Warnocks Wizards

From our news services...

New Orthanc, Warnocks Wizards--Good news for football fans everywhere. The Cup of Harmony, the invitational tournament for active nations that just missed out on World Cup 9, is a reality. The tournament will begin shortly and will feature 8 fine footballing nations:

Evisceratomatoes
NASTIC 2
Rejistania
Spaam
The Dragonian Empire
The Weegies
Tranquillitis
Warnocks Wizards (host)

Watch out for the Cup of Harmony, to kick off here soon.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

The Bureaucratic Tribune

Also-rans = flops?
Cup of Harmony hosted by Warnock Wizards to get underway.

By Dwight Hamilton

SOMEWHERE IN WARNOCK WIZARDS -- The Cup of Harmony, hosted by Warnock Wizards, is set to begin, the competition to take place between eight nations absolutely fanatical about their World Cup-team and discouraged that they missed the Cup.

"Discouraged?" said one orc from Warnock Wizards. "More like 'I'm pissed, why did the Red and White Wizards not qualify?'"

After the materialization of the Cup of Harmony, following in the wake of World Cup 8's Frosty Cup, futebol analysts were quick to point out differences between the two tournaments.

"First, you've got the name change," said one futebol analyst of the Maracaibo Post. "Then, you've got the discouraging titling of the Wizards of Warnock. Where at one point in the Frosty Cup the participating nations were 'also-rans,' this time around they're 'flops.' Discouraging? More like 'I'm pissed, why are they calling my national team a flop?'"

Others are quick to shoot down the arguement.

"No way, man," said another of the Porlamar Tribune. "The World Cup-squad's participating, and their fans should be grateful to see their national team play more. After all, besides this tournament, it'll be another four years before they play for an award of any merit."

Regardless of whom you support, the Cup of Harmony looks to be an exciting follow up to the successful Frosty Cup hosted by Tanah Burung.

"Discouraged?" said one orc from Warnock Wizards. "More like 'I'm pissed, why did the Red and White Wizards not qualify?'"

Hmmm...methinks the Maracaibo Post left off the rest of this disgruntled orc's remarks:

"Discouraged? More like I'm pissed, why did the Red and White Wizards not qualify? After all, we took 4 out of 6 points from that Super Duper Wonder Team from Oglethorpia."


After the materialization of the Cup of Harmony, following in the wake of World Cup 8's Frosty Cup, futebol analysts were quick to point out differences between the two tournaments.

"First, you've got the name change," said one futebol analyst of the Maracaibo Post. "Then, you've got the discouraging titling of the Wizards of Warnock. Where at one point in the Frosty Cup the participating nations were 'also-rans,' this time around they're 'flops.' Discouraging? More like 'I'm pissed, why are they calling my national team a flop?'"


Hehe, amusing. (OOC: The change from "also-ran" to "flop" has more to do with the restrictive nature of the subject line in the forum, than it has to do with any statement about failure. No, really.)

Regardless of whom you support, the Cup of Harmony looks to be an exciting follow up to the successful Frosty Cup hosted by Tanah Burung.

Anyway, cheers for that. WW

"Then, you've got the discouraging titling of the Wizards of Warnock. Where at one point in the Frosty Cup the participating nations were 'also-rans,' this time around they're 'flops.' Discouraging? More like 'I'm pissed, why are they calling my national team a flop?'"


Hehe, amusing. (OOC: The change from "also-ran" to "flop" has more to do with the restrictive nature of the subject line in the forum, than it has to do with any statement about failure. No, really.)

I trust you :wink:

OOC: Hehe LOL... great RPing as always peeps.

The Spaamians could be interesting...

*Location: the KaMaRian revenue office, in a small cubicle, time 23 o'clock*
*Xeseja Su is doing his best to do do all the work, he missed when travelling through the world and playing for Rejistania*
*phone rings*
Su: Hejida. Su'he Xeseja.
Imdila: Hejida. It's Imdila'he Hexen. I got desperate about trying to call you at home, till a neighbor gave me this number. What are you doing in your work at this time?
Su: Not everyone is a professional.
Imdila: Ah, Gilae! Have you heard about the Warnocks Wizards cup of Friendship?
Su: What?
Imdila: A tournament for nations, which failed to qualify for World Cup.
Su: Does that mean, what I think it means?
Imdila: Only if you have the time. I know, you do your job, you play Cl, you play domestic.
Su: Hmmm. I don't know exactly if I do. There is an awful amount of stuff to do.
Imdila: It would be great, to have you in he team, Koleni'he Mata can simply not replace you.
Su: It would also be nice to play, but if I lose my job?
Imdila: Ahh, don't worry about that, your boss may be against your participation, but the boss of your boss isn't it. He has even a picture of the Junis'omeh in his office.
Su: You mean.... ?
Imdila:[/B] Yes, you'll keep your job and he will ask some other workers of your department to do the work. But he asked you for a big favor: Do your best and help the Rejis to win!
Su: Great, in this case: Count me in!
*as Su hangs up, Imdila marks the last name in his list with an OK-sign.

THE CUP OF HARMONY

The Cup of Harmony football tournament is an invitation-only event for countries that role-play but failed to qualify for the World Cup. The competition marks the second time such a tournament has been held; Tanah Burung hosted the first such event, the Frosty Cup, just four years ago. Including hosts the Empire of Warnocks Wizards, eight teams will battle for the prestigious Cup of Harmony, so named to promote peace and good-will amongst the footballing nations of this wondrous and diverse universe.

http://home.c2i.net/monsalvat/grailsml.jpg
The Cup of Harmony

The eight participating nations have been divided into two groups which will play in a round-robin format where each team plays the other teams in their group once. The top two placed teams in each group will then advance to the semi-finals. Tie breakers to determine teams advancing with an even amount of points will be, in this order: Goal Difference, Goals For, Most Wins, Head to Head Result. If teams are still tied after this, a one-game playoff will take place to see who advances to the next round. The semi-finals and final match are one-legged affairs and if they cannot be decided in the regulation time of ninety minutes, an indefinite period of extra time will be played during which the first team to score will be proclaimed the winner (i.e. there will be no matches decided by penalty kicks in this tournament).

Results will be generated in much the same fashion as they were for the previous Frosty Cup. The historic offensive and defensive modifiers will be abandoned in place of a system that primarily uses rank to determine results. To make things interesting and to allow for a wide open tournament, ranks will be used from the results of World Cup 9 qualifying. The standard number of attacks each team has is ten per team per match. Goals are determined by a random number of up to a 1000 generated for each attack, which is then compared to the other side’s defense number which is equivalent to 900 minus their rank. If the random number is greater than the defense number, a goal is awarded.

There will also be a bonus for those teams that RP their games: for each match RPed, that team will receive a bonus of +1 attack or -1 attack against (randomly determined). The number of attacks modifier will be compared between the two sides. For instance, if one side has a +2 modifier and the other has a +1 modifier, the total modifier is +1, meaning the side with the greater RP bonus will receive either one additional attack or have to defend one fewer attack against. The maxium variant is capped at 3, i.e. even if one side RPs 5 matches and the opponent zero, the variant will only be +3/-3. For the first matchday, the RP bonus will be applied to those that post on this thread a roster or a preview RP, etc. prior to the first match. There also will be a small home field advantage bonus applied to matches in the first round for host Warnocks Wizards. Determined randomly for each match, the bonus will be one of the following: +1 attack, -1 defense, or
-10 ranking. Again, this home field advantage applies to the first round only.

All results will be telegrammed. To allow some time for RP, match results will be generated and telegrammed every other day. The opening ceremony will be posted tomorrow (Saturday), with the first set of match results being telegrammed Sunday.

Venues for the Cup of Harmony

Group A matches will be played at Fortress Warnock and Shelobs Lair. Group B matches will be played at The Tower and The Lane. The opening ceremony and Championship match will take place at the national stadium on Mount Doom, Fortress Warnock. All Warnocks Wizards matches will be held at Fortress Warnock. Here is more information about each of the venues:

http://www.castles.org/castles/Europe/Eastern_Europe/Romania/Huneodora/hunedoara04_small.jpg
Fortress Warnock

Name: Fortress Warnock
Location: Mount Doom
Climate: Temperate–moderate winter, warm summer
Elevation: Moderate, located on undulating hills below Mount Doom (4500')
Distance from Capital: 420 miles southeast of New Orthanc
Capacity: - 60,000* human- or elf-sized patrons, or
- 90,000 dwarf- or orc-sized patrons, or
- 120,000 hobbit-sized patrons, or
- 45,000 Uruk’Hai-sized patrons, or
- 20,000 giant spider-sized patrons, or
- 10,000 Ent-sized patrons.
*for the Cup of Harmony, this is the capacity, to allow our guests to watch in comfort
Home to: Warnocks Wizards National Team
Site of: Opening ceremony, Group A, Championship Match


http://www.stadiumguide.com/newoaka.jpg
Shelobs Lair

Name: Shelobs Lair
Location: New Minas Morgul (2 miles east of the city centre)
Climate: Temperate–moderate winter, moderate summer
Elevation: Low, located in a valley of the Mountains of Shadow
Distance from Capital: 350 miles southeast of New Orthanc
Capacity: 37,200
Home to: Shelobs Lair (The One Ring Premiership), Shelobs Obsession (Giant Evil Spider Football League)
Site of: Group A, Semifinal match


http://www.fussballtempel.net/uefa/ENG/Bramall_Lane_A.jpg
The Lane

Name: The Lane
Location: New Minas Tirith (4 miles south of the city centre)
Climate: Mediterranean–mild winter, hot, dry summer
Elevation: Moderate, ground sits amongst undulating lowlands
Distance from Capital: 300 miles southeast of New Orthanc
Capacity: 30,413
Home to: Boromir Blades (The One Ring Premiership)
Site of: Group B, Third place match


http://www.edoras-art.de/Alan_Lee/THUMBS/LEE26.jpg
The Tower

Name: The Tower
Location: New Orthanc, the capital of Warnocks Wizards
Climate: Temperate–mild winter, mild summer
Elevation: High, ground sits atop a tower, along the southern tip of the Misty Mountains chain
Capacity: 32,153
Home to: New Orthanc United (The One Ring Premiership, Champions League)
Site of: Group B, Semifinal match

The Draw and Schedule for the Cup of Harmony

Group A
#34 Warnocks Wizards
#50 The Weegies
#57 The Dragonian Empire
#62 Tranquillitis

Group B
#37 Spaam
#38 Rejistania
#60 NASTIC 2
#74 Evisceratomatoes

Matchday Schedule

Matchday One
#38 Rejistania v. #74 Evisceratomatoes at The Tower
#37 Spaam v. #60 NASTIC 2 at The Lane
#50 The Weegies v. #62 Tranquillitis at Shelobs Lair
#34 Warnocks Wizards v. #57 The Dragonian Empire at Fortress Warnock

Matchday Two
#38 Rejistania v. #60 NASTIC 2 at The Tower
#37 Spaam v. #74 Evisceratomatoes at The Lane
#50 The Weegies v. #57 The Dragonian Empire at Shelobs Lair
#34 Warnocks Wizards v. #62 Tranquillitis at Fortress Warnock

Matchday Three
#60 NASTIC 2 v. #74 Evisceratomatoes at The Tower
#37 Spaam v. #38 Rejistania at The Lane
#57 The Dragonian Empire v. #62 Tranquillitis at Shelobs Lair
#34 Warnocks Wizards v. #50 The Weegies at Fortress Warnock

Matchday Four–The Semifinals
#1 Group B v. #2 Group A at Shelobs Lair*
#1 Group A v. #2 Group B at The Tower*
*Locations subject to change

Matchday Five–Third Place Match
Loser Semifinal #1 v. Loser Semifinal #2 at The Lane

Matchday Six–The Cup of Harmony Championship Match
Winner Semifinal #1 v. Winner Semifinal #2 at Fortress Warnock

Nastic sports review

Nastic has entered the tournament of flops as we were the biggest flop of the lot,As reigning NS olympic gold medalists we had high hopes of qualyfing for the finals but alas we stank the group up.

Our team for these games will be

1. Lance Mery
2. Neil Hippert
3. Javier Spano
4. Mathew Moczygemba
5. Hugh Ohalloran
6. Darren Taul
7. Clayton Kwak
8. Kurt Rodiguez
9. Cody Manganaro
10. Guy Kantor
11. Neil Salmi
12. Julio Mcqueeney
13. Kelly Brayboy
14. Jamie Kimery
15. Tyrone Gordillo

The Nastic football federation had been hoping to get group A just to play at the fortress Warnock.

Good luck to the nations fighting to finish second to Nastic ;-)

A tradition lives on! Never mind that the tradition is new. Never mind that the name has been changed. Never mind that defending champions Total n Utter Insanity, runners-up Nikea, and semifinalists Tanah Burung and Dark Outcasts are all in the World Cup. In fact, call it a sign of the tournament's success! We wish special success to Warnocks Wizards, host of this exceptional sporting event and maybe, now, the favourites to win it. Here's hoping the referees will cooperate this time!

The Tranquillitis Moose are sending the same group of young upstarts that brought them to no international experience to #62 in the world.

Tranquillitis Fotboll Forbundet
Official Roster

http://www.moosehockey.com/teams/boxmoose.gif

Manager: Tomas Hedberg

Starting Eleven:

1. Stefan Eriksson, GK
2. Johan Lindström, D
3. David Nilsson, D
4. Per Lundqvist, D
5. Daniel Sjellberg, D
6. Frederic Wilhelmsson, M
7. Magnus Magnusson, M (Captain)
8. Martin Svensson, M
9. Andreas Källström, M
10. Henrik Jönsson, F
11. Mikael Andersson, F

Substitutes:

12. Mats Larsson, D
13. Markus Jonson, M
14. Niclas Nordström, D
15. Tomas Sundin, F
16. Adam Olosson, F
17. Fredrik Larsson, M
18. Anders Salo, M
19. Per Ulander, D
21. Mikeal Zetterberg, F
22. Christian Alexandersson, D

Kit:

The home kit features a grey shirt, with white sleeves, letters, and numbering. Shorts are white, socks are grey.

The away kit is all dark blue, with white letters and numbering. Shorts and socks are dark blue.

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955
Sport

Moose Management Unhappy with Scheduling Arrangements, Janitoral Staff Quit En Masse
-Erik Åkerfeldt

WARNOCKS WIZARDS - The head of the Tranquillitis Moose Football Federation Markus Gustafsson was apparently responsible for the resignation of three janitorial staff today after reading the schedule proposed by the organizers of the Cup of Harmony.

"It was a pretty awful afternoon for Mr. Gustafsson," said Hanna Andersson, Gustafsson's secretary. "He had some Chinese food at lunch that really wasn't sitting well. He looked pale and was sweating whenever I went in there to drop off some work. When the fax came from the Cup of Harmony people, I guess it was enough to push him over the edge, as he spent an intimate 5 minutes with his toilet."

"I was pretty mad at the scheduling," Gustafsson said later. "I don't mind the group we're in, in fact, I couldn't have grouped us better myself. It was just the fact that Warnocks gets to play at their brand new stadium for all of their first round matches. We have to head to that lousy Sheleb place or whatever it's called and play on the same pitch as giant spiders play on. We're Moose, not spiders."

His falling out with his lunch brought upon the first of the unfortunate cleaning staff, legal immigrant Nicola Petrescu from Romania.

"Eet vas deesgoosting een thar," Nicola said with a heavy accent. "I coodn't laast more dan feeve seecunds."

Nicola then stormed into Mr. Gustafsson's office and promptly quit. After she explained for the fifth time to the sickly executive (he later said he couldn't understand a bloody word she was saying), she stormed out of the office, leaving her mop head on the poor gentleman's head.

Similar experiences followed with Daniel Axelsson (son of one of the Tennis Federation guys), and Annika Lidström.

"Finally, we had to bring in some people in chemical suits," Andersson said. "Luckily for me, one of them was cute and I got his number. I don't think Mr. Gustafsson was feeling particularly lucky."

The sudden exit of three of the Federation building's finest cleaners has led to a new employment opportunity. Any are welcome to apply, and Mr. Gustafsson has promised that he will no longer eat any sort of Asian food, especially Chicken Kung Pao.

The Moose take on The Weegies in their first match in Shelob's Lair.

To: Mr. Markus Gustafsson
Tranquillitis Moose Football Federation

From: Ms. Shelob-VIII-Legs
Queen, Shelob Enterprises
Empire of Warnocks Wizards

Dear Mr. Gustafsson:

We are very sorry to read of your recent digestive problems. From what we gathered from your nation's media report on the matter, your sudden visit to the little moose's room was caused by reaction to being drawn into our beautiful Lair. Please accept the enclosed perfume set of Shelobs Obsession (which one of our holding's produces) by way of an apology. Should you have a future accident, perhaps they may come in handy. Or, the perfumes are nice to use on a night out. Our spider children are quite harmless, you really should not fear a visit to our Lair. Once you arrive in our benevolent Empire, perhaps we can arrange a training session with your fine national team of Mooses (or is it Meese?) and our lovely giant spider team. At any rate, we look forward to meeting you in person. Do not worry, we'll wear the smaller set of mandibles so as not to frighten you too much. Until we meet,

Shelob-VIII-Legs

A speech by Nate-Hurr E. Visser, Wisest of the Evisceratomatoes:

Gather round, my little corgettes, the time to become ethereal beings is not yet, not quite yet. Bear with me. A small delay, one more worldly test before we become spirit.

Our existence shall be prolonged a little while yet, as we take place in one last sporting event, the Frosty Cup of Harmony in the Land of Warnocks Wizards All Rights Reserved. Oh, yes, my tiny turnips, my rutabagas of love, Harmony. A fine thing.

So once more into the footballing breach. Not to eviscerate and splatter, this time, ah no. We go to love and entwine and smooch the other nations. What joy!

I decree that the national football teram shall now be named the Fighting Fruit. Our group plays at colourful Shelobs Lair Brought to You by Shelobs Obsession Registered Trade Mark of the Eight Legs Corporation. While not themselves vegetable matter on the verge of becoming non-corporeal, the other teams in this group are still fine examples of the great sport.

Facing off against the Fighting Fruit in Group B will be the Fighting Canned Meat Products of Spaam, the Fighting Unpronounceable Humanoid Creatures of Rejistania, and the Fighting Mad Hopalong Fudge Eaters of NASTIC 2. Oh, my little cabbages, it will be glorious! Let's win some for poor dead Eve, my little leeks.

Hmm, that should ahve been as Evisceratomatoes, wonder how that happened? Must be the Y1 virus.

The Fighting Fruit starting line-up is unchanged....

Goal:
Elvis Irate

Defence:
Urk Pulpy
Urk Jones

Midfield:
Yum-Yum McPherson
Mott
Urk Tamale-Underhill
Urk Seedykins
Scrood Ryver

Forwards:
Urk Visser-Eight
Eve Isser-Kernigit
Macht Milk

To: Nate-Hurr E. Visser
Wisest of the Evisceratomatoes

From: Ufhur the Hated
Minister for Sport
Empire for Warnocks Wizards

Dear Mr. Visser:

We look forward to seeing you and your Fighting Fruit in our nation once again. We would like to thank you for delaying your transformation into ethereal form to compete in this humble competition. As a token of our goodwill, we promise not to have a Ripe Fruit giveaway night so that no fruit or vegetables are needlessly harmed. Furthermore, I have personally warned Farmer Maggott III not to try and harvest any of your squad or travelling delegation. Mr. Maggott has also been told in no uncertain terms that he is not allowed to capture any of your kind and may not hold them against their will to perform, oooh, hideous things on them to discover their secret ability to transform into higher beings. Should Mr. Maggott prove any problems to you, your delegation, team, or fans please contact the nearest security officer.

On another matter, do you require any special requirements (extra sunlight, refrigeration, etc.) during your stay in our Empire? When you visited previously it was just for the one match, so we are unaware of any special arrangements that need to be made for a longer stay. Please let us know and we will endeavour to make your stay in the Empire a pleasant one. Sincerely,

Ufhur the Hated

Warnocks Wizards Cup of Harmony Roster:

1. Globtakh the Timid - GK, Angband Balrogs...8 caps
25. Ishhak the Smasher - GK, New Orthanc United...21 caps
13. Krumsnik the Paunch - GK, Isengard City...1 cap

3. Ghaztrak the Gouger - DL, Angband Balrogs...17 caps
23. Shaghosh the Raider - DL, Shelobs Lair...1 cap
5. Mausnik the Cleaver - DC, Uruk’Hai United...20 caps
6. Shagrukh the Strongclaw (c) - DC, New Orthanc United...24 caps
24. Akhburz the Straggler - DC, Barad-Dur Town...11 caps
17. Ghazukh the Burner - DR, New Orthanc United...28 caps/1 goal
2. Ufdush the Nasty - DR, Angmar Witches...10 caps/1 goal

8. Krumsnak the Sneaky - MC, Barad-Dur Town...12 caps
21. Gromdul the Gasher - MC, Uruk’Hai United...16 caps/1 goal
18. Bagdreg the Mauler - ML, Boromir Blades...28 caps/3 goals
12. Durbret the Choker - ML, Angband Balrogs...11 caps/1 goal
16. Akhklash the Emaciated - MR, Boromir Blades...21 caps/1 goal
4. Bublok the Destroyer - MR, Boromir Blades...15 caps
7. Ghazghash the Sleazy - AMC, New Orthanc United...24 caps/3 goals

11. Gabdul the Looter - SC, Boromir Blades...23 caps/5 goals
15. Ishklash the Snooty - SC, New Orthanc United...28 caps/13 goals
14. Globdreg the Destroyer - SC, Boromir Blades...18 caps/4 goals
9. Ashmazh the Tough - SC, Uruk’Hai United...16 caps/3 goals
19. Zagag the Sleak - SC, New Orthanc United...0 caps

First strip: Red and white striped shirts, black shorts, red socks.
Change strip: Black shirts depicting the One Ring in gold, red shorts, black socks.

Manager: Ufwurz the Furious
Assistants: Gutkrut the Wretched, Bazzag the Wicked
Team Psychiatrist: Skaialuk the Insane
Chairman of the National Football Federation: Globmazh the Mean
Minister of Sport: Ufhur the Hated

Name Changes
Globtakh the Timid, formerly known as Globtakh the Meek
Akhklash the Emaciated, formerly known as Akhklash the Paunch
Ishklash the Snooty, formerly known as Ishklash the Pug-nose

All Time Leaders
Leaders in Goals: Ishklash the Snooty 13, Gabdul the Looter 5, Globdreg the Destroyer 4, Ashmazh the Tough 3, Bagdreg the Mauler 3, Ghazghash the Sleazy 3.

Red Cards: Mausnik the Cleaver 3, Durbret the Choker, Ghazghash the Sleazy, Akhklash the Emaciated.


All Time Record
[code:1:4ecc757941]
..................W-D-L....Pts...GF...GA...Place
World Cup 8.......2-2-6.....8....12...19...77/92
Frosty Cup Invit..2-0-2.....6.....6....8....5/10
World Cup 9.......7-3-4....24....19...16...34/80

Warnocks Wizards 11-5-12...38....37...43
[/code:1:4ecc757941]

Current World Ranking: 34

The Orange-Blues will play like they did in the World Cup. As a big surprise even Ila Iles, who was more known for his insults, than for his skill will be in the national team. No surprise was, that Hexen Imdila remains coach and Hae Hangila remains his assistant.
[code:1:5eaebc2efc]
Name age position club (city)
Syku Hexen 19 GK Hades Lavamje (KaMaRi Kali)

Raju Hisenha 25 GK Mikedi Omeh (Mikedi Kali)

Sen Ajil 20 DF Jinhes Lines (Na-ovi)
Ji Jen 21 DF Hanin Sekhika (KaMaRi Kali)
Lanhi Ijanhi 22 DF Hetkali Hetlasane (Hetkali)
Xenex Tyru 24 DF Jinhes Lines (Na-ovi)

Ila Iles 21 DF Najajara Ynu (Najajara)
Hana Yla 25 DF Karela Lines* (KaMaRi Kali)
Kansu Kiru 20 DF KaMaRi Kaletri (KaMaRi Kali)
Vel Kansu 27 DF Ihiri Sekhika (Ihiri)

Sil Hilat 23 MF Hetkali Hetaki (Hetkali)
Exke Sines 26 MF Matix Veran (Matix)
Laxtu Takil 27 MF Hetkali Hetaki (Hetkali)
Xkelilko Susu 21 MF Matix Kimi (Matix)

Imike Seru 28 MF KaMaRi Kaletri (KaMaRi Kali)
Ine Syku 19 MF KaMaRi Kaletri (KaMaRi Kali)
Myk Lincosa 29 MF Mikedi Omeh (Mikedi Kali)
Ji Raliu 22 MF Mikedi Veran (Mikedi Kali)

Xeseja Su 21 FW Karela Lines* (KaMaRi Kali)
Syku Lyku 18 FW Hetkali Hetlasane (Hetkali)

Mata Koleni 20 FW Hades Lavamje (KaMaRi Kali)
Sen I Ailn 24 FW Najajara Ynu (Najajara)
[/code:1:5eaebc2efc]
As in the last roster, the players in the second paragraph for each position are very likely to be substitutes. (Kansu Kiru and Xeseja Su had their birthday in the time between the release of the world-cup-squad and now.)

Harmonious Gala Ceremony Kicks Off Cup Competition

Packed Fortress Warnock Treated to Spectacular Opening

From our news services...

Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–The Cup of Harmony opened this evening with a spectacular event at Fortress Warnock on Mount Doom. Visitors from around the globe, including contingents of supporters of the nations involved in the football competition, gathered at the stunning stadium. Naturally, there was also a large and diverse crowd of Wizardites on hand, with all the races of the Empire represented.

Beginning with a procession of the eight national teams carrying their respective flags, the athletes were greeted to warm and rapturous applause and greeting. Leading the procession were a delegation representing the nation of Tanah Burung, creators of this fine sporting competition. Their crocodile mascot was warmly received by the home faithful. Following the Tanah Burungians were the seven invited nations in alphabetical order walking with their mascots created by the organising committee: a bouncing tomato, a stately billboard, a colourful orange and blue-dressed person, a shining tin of processed meat, an imposing dragon, a speckled ouija board, and a jocular moose.

There was a dramatic pause before the host team and delegation emerged and a hush came over the crowd. The national orchestra, to this point playing the anthems of each nation as they emerged, began a stunning symphonic prologue that was at once inspiring and tension building. Suddenly, a brilliant flash of light engulfed the stadium, followed by an aura of smoke and fog. Materialising in the centre circle atop a large rotating classical-style dais was the beloved nine-foot tall salivating Arch-Mage Rahzlok the Alligator, who was greeted by a cacophony of applause and cheer. The Warnocks Wizards delegation then emerged from the West Gate onto the pitch donning the traditional Red and White striped robes and hats of the ancient order of Warnocks Wizards. A standing ovation and crowd uproar ensued and this was followed by more rousing music, which was becoming increasingly recognisable as an opus of the great wizard composer Vorros the Wise.

As the musical interlude ceased, a rather imposing voice boomed “And now for something completely different...It’s...Ufhur the Hated, Minister for Sport.” The minister made his way from the Wizards delegation to the dais, climbing the steps, and took up a position in the center of the rotating stand’s towering columns. Ufhur began:

“Friends, fans, visitors, fighting fruit, acronym advocates, orange-blue folk, reprocessed meat tins, dragons, ouija board aficionados, and tranquil moose welcome to the Empire of Warnocks Wizards. It is our pleasure to be your hosts for this splendid competition. Just four years ago, we gathered in the beautiful nation of Tanah Burung to play for the inaugural Frosty Cup. We are honoured to continue that tradition and host this invitational, The Cup of Harmony. It is our dream, our quest to bring together peacefully the nations of this extraordinary universe in sport. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if international conflict could be settled on the football pitch? This tournament, this friendly gathering, this Cup of Harmony is but one small step towards that ever elusive goal.

We wish all participants the best of luck. Whether, you’re climbing the mighty spire of the Tower, skipping gleefully to the beautiful Lane, descending reverently to the serene Lair, or attending the shrine of this spectacular Fortress: May all your endeavours prove fruitful. May all your acronyms make sense. May all your colours shine brightly amidst the dark. Make all your meats never rot. May all your fledglings grow to be happy, healthy dragons. May all your ouija boards give you comfort, and not scare the living daylights out of you. May all your moose be tranquil. May all of us reach the promised land, the World Cup, next time ‘round. We now proclaim the second Frosty Cup, the Cup of Harmony open.”

The crowd erupted and the festivities began. A rousing dance routine by The Shagrat and Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe kicked things off. As ever, the group’s unique lack of discernible rhythm or style or form proved popular with the masses. Shagrat and Gorbag leaped, stomped, and slinked their way around the pitch donning orange and blue leg-warmers and ribbons. Performing amongst the troupe were representatives of all races of the Empire representing the eight nations involved. Such odd sites graced the pitch as Ents juggling inflatable tomatoes, Elves flaunting mysterious board games, Orcs eating tins of meat, Dwarves holding acronym placards, poorly controlled pantomime Moose galloping away from their hobbit masters, the world’s first ever giant eight-legged dragon (the poor spider’s Dragonian costume kept slipping off), and a few elderly red and white bedecked wizards tapping in formation with their zimmer frames. While the dancing was sweeping the pitch, and it must be said, much of the stands, a flock of Giant Eagles decorated in the colours of all eight nations swooped and swerved over the crowd. Amongst all of the dancing and prancing, Elvish folk singer Maldholwen sang her hit “Evening Star, Football Star” and Wizards Without Hats performed an extended version of their new song, “The Harmony Dance.” Capping off the song’s seemingly endless but catchy octave beeps was a beautiful fireworks display orchestrated by the Gandalf the Gray Entertainment Corporation. The fireworks blossomed and bloomed into shapes of the eight nation’s mascots. The final image that the crowd was left with was the beaming countenance of Rahzlok the Alligator. The crowd then dispersed reverently, looking forward to the bright future that tomorrow will bring.

The Cup of Harmony competition kicks off tomorrow.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Ufwurz Ponders Harmonious Draw

Warnocks Wizards Manager Previews Tournament for World Cup Flops

From our news services...

Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–Warnocks Wizards Manager Ufwurz the Furious looked on with pride as his charges took the pitch at Fortress Warnock amidst thronging cheers and adulative applause. The Cup of Harmony officially kicked off this evening with a stirring ceremony of colour and one man’s promise to strive for a better future.

A better future is also on the horizon for Warnocks Wizards national team. Not so long ago, the team were looked down upon and couldn’t have made a worse debut to their first World Cup. Krumsnak the Sneaky’s own goal from the opening kick off must surely rate as the worst start ever for an international side. Not so long ago, the team’s stadium at The Tower was criticised and polluted by visiting media helicopters. Under the leadership of Manager Ufwurz and Minister of Sport Ufhur the Hated, the nation has grown in leaps and bounds as a footballing nation. It now has an internationally admired state of the art stadium in Fortress Warnock. The national side has gained much respect as well and missed out on World Cup 9 by the narrowest of margins, goal differential. Sitting down with this writer after the Cup of Harmony opening ceremony, Manager Ufwurz the Furious looked back on where his side have come from and looked ahead to the future, both the Cup of Harmony and beyond.

Thrakhak: Thank you for joining us, Ufwurz. That was quite a ceremony.

Ufwurz: Indeed it was. Though in my mind a couple of those mascots and dancing exhibitions were a bit dodgy. Hopefully it will be received well by the international community.

Thrakhak: You’ve come a far way just to be noticed by the international community. Did you ever think after that very first match [4-1 away loss to Commerce Heights in WC8 qualifying], that you’d be here in a new state-of-the-art stadium managing a side that only missed the World Cup by goal differential?

Ufwurz: You might be surprised, but I’ve always had faith in these lads. They’re not like the previous domestic sides I’ve managed that couldn’t pass water let alone a ball. These lads have talent, a strong work ethic, and they pull together as a team. I always thought we would progress over time. True, I was pleasantly surprised at how well we did in World Cup 9 qualifying. Our results against the sides above us were outstanding. If we could have just taken a point or two more off of the sides at our level or below, we wouldn’t be speaking here right now. We would have had this conversation at Ravenspire/Europa Brittania.

Thrakhak: Looking ahead to the Cup of Harmony, how do you view the draw and your chances?

Ufwurz: Well, first I’d like to thank Tanah Burung for creating this competition in the first place. Fortunately, we were able to organise the tournament this time around and it’s a nice consolation for missing out on WC9. It’s also nice to play against these nations that we wouldn’t normally have a chance to meet. The draw is fairly even between both groups. The Dragonians, like our own nation, are a multi cultural empire with elves, dragons, etc. So, it’s quite fitting that we open the competition against them. Tranquillitis are another side we’ve little footballing knowledge of. But, they’re battling moose, so we expect a tight, physical match. The Weegies we are a little more familiar with. One of their sides is involved in the Champions League and gave New Orthanc United a good game, drawing 1-1 in The Weegies. So, that match will be tough as well. As hosts, we might be slight favours to come out of the group, but I expect the matches to all be close and it will prove a difficult test.

Thrakhak: Any changes to the side for the Cup of Harmony.

Ufwurz: There is one change. Striker Mersnik the Cruel has unfortunately been forced to retire from the game. He was unable to shake off the possession of the Demonic Being known as Paul Wood. Our condolences go out to the family and the gestalt entity of Mersnik the Cruel/Paul Wood. We wish them luck in whatever they decide to do with their life. As a result, I’ve brought Zagag the Sleak into the squad. Zagag has impressed for New Orthanc United in the Champions League, so this tournament gives me a nice chance to look at him on the international level. Expect to see him getting a lot of playing time.

Thrakhak: I would be remiss if I didn’t ask this. There are rumours you are a possible candidate for a manager’s position at a well known international side. Would you like to comment?

Ufwurz: Those are just whispers in the weeds. I’m more concerned with Warnocks Wizards. I have not been offered another job. If another federation is interested, I’m sure Federation President Globmazh the Mean would inform me. I’ve always said I wanted to manage at the World Cup, and why can’t it be with Warnocks Wizards?

Thrakhak: Finally, there is talk that the Empire of Warnocks Wizards will be putting in a bid to co-host World Cup 11. Any thoughts on that?

Ufwurz: That’s something that should be addressed to the Minister of Sport. I have no comment.

Thrakhak: Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to speak with us. Good luck at the Cup of Harmony.

Thrakhak the Slinger, reporting for WW1

Matchday 1 results have now been sent out by telegram.

Wizards Conquer Dragons at Fortress Warnock

Debutante Zagag the Sleak Sends National Team off to Flying Start in the Cup of Harmony

From our news services...

Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–Warnocks Wizards national team embarked on the path to the Cup of Harmony in the best possible manner last night, vanquishing the Dragonian Empire 3-0 in front of an adoring crowd at Fortress Warnock. The Red and White Wizards looked magical, the inspiring opening day ceremony clearly boosting their level of play. Manager Ufwurz the Furious was ecstatic with his side’s comprehensive victory.

The Wizards began the match in their familiar 4-3-1-2. The lineup was a familiar one to Wizardites with one major surprise: New Orthanc United striker Zagag the Sleak was handed his first full cap. Partnering the Sleak one up front was club teammate and all-time national goals leader Ishklash the Snooty. The midfield was comprised entirely of Boromir Blades: Bublok the Destroyer in the middle, flanked by Bagdreg the Mauler and Akhklash the Emaciated, with Gabdul the Looter in the hole. The back four included full backs Ghaztrak the Gouger and Ufdush the Nasty centered with national captain Shagrukh the Strongclaw and the versatile Ghazukh the Burner. Ishhak the Smasher was the familiar site between the posts.

The Wizards kicked off the match amidst a truly intimidating atmosphere. The large crowd of Uruk’Hai in the stands due to Uruk’Hai pride week were in fine form, stomping, grunting, and roaring in unison. The visiting Dragonian side were visibly shaken by the atmosphere and the Red and White Wizards capitalised with through Zagag, who scored with his first touch of the game. Bagdreg’s beautiful pass released Ishklash down the left. His nice run was cut back for Zagag who marvelously dribbled past three defenders and crushed a shot towards the bottom right corner. The visiting keeper could do nothing, and the Wizards were 1-0 up after only 3 minutes. The home side, still riding the elation of the crowd, pushed ahead for a second goal just five minutes later, again through our man Zagag. A seemingly harmless pass was delivered from Gabdul to Zagag, with his back to goal and two defenders behind him. The Sleak one juggled the ball off his knee and turned and shot all in one motion. A magnificent second goal on his debut, Warnocks Wizards 2 The Dragonian Empire 0. The Wizards continued to press for a third but were denied by the visiting keeper and the woodwork on several occasions. The halftime score was 2-0.

After The Shagrat and Gorbag halftime show pleased an adoring home crowd, the visiting Dragonians kicked off the second half. Now settled in their surroundings, the visitors went about trying to restore some pride. They took the game to the Wizards in the first fifteen minutes and were only kept off the score sheet by an inform keeper in Ishhak and a rock in the defense in Shagrukh. Ghazukh’s pace also contributed to the clean sheet. Surviving the pressure, the Red and White Wizards retook control of the match and enjoyed long periods of possession. The match had clearly been decided when substitute Ghazghash added to the margin of victory with a fine free kick three minutes from time. Following a foul on Bagdreg, Gabdul and Bublok stood over the ball seemingly to take the free kick. After a moment of apparent planned confusion when the two collided with one another, Ghazghash ran up and struck the free kick catching the visitors unawares. The home crowd hooted with joy as the Red and White Wizards ran out 3-0 winners.

Warnocks Wizards: Ishhak the Smasher, Ghaztrak the Gouger, Shagrukh the Strongclaw (c), Ghazukh the Burner, Ufdush the Nasty, Bublok the Destroyer, Bagdreg the Mauler, Akhklash the Emaciated (Ghazghash the Sleazy 72), Gabdul the Looter, Zagag the Sleak, Ishklash the Snooty.

Unused substitutes: Globtakh the Timid, Akhburz the Straggler, Gromdul the Gasher, Ashmazh the Tough.

For their next match in The Cup of Harmony, the Red and White Wizards face the moose of Tranquillitis. The match will be played at Fortress Warnock.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Nastic sports review

The Nastic nation has started the tournament of flops with an excellent win over Spaam who just failed to reach the finals of World Cup IX.

The Nastic team were not expected to win this game but came through it with a lucky 2-1 win and make a superb start to the tournament and hopefuly this will continue onwards to the final stages.

Spaam 1

Nastic 2 (14. Jamie Kimery x 2)

Nate E. Visser cast his eyes around the Tower. A sleek and fat land, so attractive to his vegetable eyes. And the trees seemed friendly too.

"Why, this is a paradise, my little papayas!" he remarked to his Evisceratomato entourage.

"But we're just here to play football, Your Juicy Highness," said Urk Jones.

"Ah yes, football. Reminds me of Lewis Carroll's story of the young oysters:

Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat --
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.

"But Your Ineeffable Scrumciousness, we do have feet. Look, here are mine."

"Oh, my little turnip," Nate chided. "What are feet but an illusion? What is a ball but a representation of the roudness of us all, our longing for perfection?" He stared into the distance for 15 minutes, then turned back to his bored-looking players. "Ah well. To business, my little zucchinis."

A few of them looked about, and started to raise their glasses, until they realized that Nate was not proposing a toast.

"To business, my little zucchinis. Who is our opponent today?"

"Rejistania, Your Spherical Magnificence. Our scouting reports that they are a team composed partly of sentient Oranges and partly of sentient Blues."

Nate looked confused. As the Wisest of the Evisceratomatoes, he of course knew what an Orange was. But a Blue? Even his encyclopedic knowledge of fruits (sentient or not) drew a blank. Still, mustn't show weakness in front of the others.

"Then, my little onions, let us do battle with these Oranges and also these Blues. I am confident that we will emerge as the victorious fruits."

OOC: *lol*

Tell me if the logo is annoying or a margin killer.

IC:
http://www.geocities.com/versionizer/KaMaRiUpdate.gif.txt
Geophysical activity moves Rejistania to FIFA
At 14:00 o'clock, an earthquake shattered the entire country, forcing trains to stop and the heven de'het (fifth division) to end their games after 87 minutes. After all became calm again, Rejistania was no longer in Oceania but in the region FIFA. Inxe Sde, professor of geology at Sike University, refers to this as 'an acceleration of a normal process'. He said to a local newspaper: 'Continents and Islands move all the time, it is just, suddently it went faster. We don't know why it happened, but to be honest: FIFA is not the worst place to be!'
Religous leader Janakansu explains it different: 'It was a sign from above. Inikres wants us to be in FIFA, and so Inikres moved us there. Why? That's not for us to know.'
A group of drunken soccer fans, who watched a heven de'het game finally had the ultimative explaination. One of them had said shortly before this happened: "It's more likely that Rejistania will be a FIFA-country than that Junis wins!" After that, an Ihiri Junis player scored the first goal since 10 matches and the earthquake prevented the equalizer.

Rejistania draws against Evisceratomatoes
It was the match, which the whole team feared: the match against Evisceratomatoes. Everyone knows, that the 'tomatoes had not been just notable for their soccer skills, but also for the fact, that they splattered when they come near to certain national team-players. This was the first match. Who said, that Rejistanians and 'tomatoes could play against without such problems? Kansu Kiru, substitute defender, was not allowed to get near the Tomatoes, since his father is unknown and there is no evidence, that he is not from Snub Nose 38. Kiru'he had no problems with that, we only played in one game in the World Cup, and didn't seriously expect to play today.
To tell the good news first: All Evisceratomatoes survived the match. To tell the bad news second: They also offered the Orange-Blues a veritable challenge and just a lucky goal by Lyku prevented the loss. Syku Hexen was not in his best form, when he let the Evisceratomatoe goal in and was replaced in the second half by Raju Hisenha. Hexen'he said after the match to reporters: 'The problem was the stadium, you know, I am ... afraid ... of heights.' after that he ran quickly out of sight.

Rejistania 1 (Lyku)
Evisceratomatoes 1 (some tomatoe)

(OOC: The Tranquillitis Moose aren't really moose, they are human. It's just a team name, same as Bedistan aren't really Lions or Nikea aren't really pandas. Forgive me if this is already known, but I was taking from WW's posts that he was implying that Tranquillitis really is full of Moose).

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Open Cup of Harmony with Draw
-Erik Åkerfeldt

The Tranquillitis Moose played pretty well today, managing a 0-0 draw with The Weegies this afternoon.

While the match was not very exciting to watch, there were many Tranquillitis supporters filling the stands at Shelob's Lair today, hoping to push their Moose to a victory. While the supporters seemed to be in high spirits throughout the match, other fans were extremely bored.

Play rarely left the midfield range, and shots at the end of the match were 3 to 2 in favour of the Weegies. Mikael Andersson hit the bar on one of the Moose shots, while the other was a harmless chip from about 10 yards past the centre line by Frederic Wilhelmsson, an attempted pass that was too far for Henrik Jönsson.

The Weegies had one good opportunity. A shot from the left curled towards the far corner, and Stefan Eriksson did well to get his hands on it and deflect it out to Per Lundqvist, who cleared it. After 90 uneventful minutes (both halves had only one minute of injury time added on), the match ended a 0-0 draw.

Moose Manager Tomas Hedberg was nonetheless happy with the result. "We played a good defensive match, and I think that if our offence can get it going we have a good chance to move on."

The next match will be a tough contest with the host Warnocks Wizards at the Fortress Warnock. The Wizards smashed the Dragonian Empire 3-0 in opening day action.

[code:1:b3f8247852]
The Weegies 0
v.
The Moose 0
[/code:1:b3f8247852]

DRAGONS U-23 DROP FIRST GAME

The Dragons U-23 National Team dropped thier first game today under temp. manager Devari Lewyis. The young team wanted the services of young L. Sargent, but were unable due to Club Services. The Dragonian Football Federation is looking to prove themselves worthy after thier horrible World Cup showing.

Harmony Tonight

From a recent palantiri broadcast...

After a flash introduction featuring scenes from the opening ceremony of The Cup of Harmony overlaid with inspiring music from virtuoso composer Vorros the Wise, the images dissolve to reveal a flamboyant wizard wearing a purple satin robe and a rather unconvincing red toupee.

Flashgob the Bombast: Welcome to Harmony Tonight where we will review the first day’s events at The Cup of Harmony. The day was one of frustrating draws, an upset, and a rousing result for the host side. Joining me in the studio is Boromir Blades manager Bozrog the Devastator and from satellite palantir in Ravenspire, where he is commentating on Tanah Burung World Cup matches, is football guru and Shelobs Obsession overseer Guntur Ruak. Gentlemen, thank you for joining us.

Bozrog the Devastator: Thank you, Flashgob.

Flashgob: Let’s take a look at today’s contests. In Group B...

Ruak: I object to being referred to in such a class conscious manner. I am neither gentleman nor overseer nor slave. Please call me Citizen Ruak.

Flashgob: HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT ME. On to more important matters, gentleman and person, what are your thoughts on the Group B matches... Rejistania v. Evisceratomatoes, 1-1 at The Tower, and Nastic 2 upsetting Spaam, 2-1 at The Lane?

Bozrog: Well, in the first match it was obvious that both sides were...

Ruak: Furthermore, by calling me an “overseer,” you’re denigrating the lovely free giant spiders that I’m trying to coach at Shelobs Obsession. They are not slaves. According to Empire law they are citizens just like you or me. This sort of thing reminds me...

Flashgob (looking towards someone out of view): CUT THE DAMN LINK. I’LL HAVE NO ONE TAKING CONTROL OF THIS TELECAST. (Ruak disappears from the screen.) Good. Now if we could have some sanity return to this broadcast. Bozrog, you were saying?

Bozrog: Yes. It was clear both the Orange-Blues and Tomato Beings were unfamiliar with the surroundings of The Tower. Playing at such a heightened pitch takes some getting used to. I often take our side to practice on the flat-top mountain of Amon Hen to prepare for a match at The Tower.

Flashgob: Indeed, some of the Rejistanis looked fearful of the height. I must say it was interesting to see the Ents in attendence rooting for their fellow plant sentients the Evisceratomatoes. That reminds me of a poem...

Ruak: (Ruak’s link reappears) I also object to having an obvious rug-wearing materialistic git such as yourself painting me along such class lines. I find it repressive....

Flashgob: AND I FIND YOU IRRITATING. SEVERE THE BLASTED LINK. (Flashgob stomps offset and Ruak’s image disappears.)

Bozrog: So much for Harmony. Uh, should I go on by myself?....Ok... The second match was a bit of a surprise. Spaam opened the scoring early and seemed to be walking it when Nastic player Jamie Kimery took control of the match with two excellent goals. The Spaamites were shocked and never managed to get back in it. As for...(looks to the side) oh, ok ...Joining me now is WW sports analyst, Morgob the Pedant.

(A disheveled, elderly wizard stumbles into the host’s chair.)

Morgob the Pedant: I think you’ll find Spaam lost to NASTIC, not Nastic. There is a difference.

Bozrog: Uh, right.

Morgob the Pedant: That should be “correct.” It is also rather unprofessional to utilise meaningless sounds such as “uh” on a broadcast. Also, your enunciation is quite poor. (Looks off to the side) Yes. Yes. Yes. (Looks back to the palantir) In Group A, The Weegies and Tranquillitis match finished 0-0 and The Red and White Wizards vanquished The Dragonian Empire 3-0. Bozrog, what do you surmise concerning these two matches?

Bozrog: The Weegies and the moose of Tranquillitis...

Morgob the Pedant: They were not moose. They were men.

Bozrog: Right...Uh, sorry...Correct. The Weegies and Tranquillitis did their best. But at the end of the day, although it was a match of two halves, both sides ran their socks off, cancelled each other out, and will fight to live another day.

Morgob the Pedant: Did you forget any football cliches amongst that illuminating analysis?

Bozrog: Excuse me?

Morgob the Pedant: Indeed. Never mind. A bit too lucid for you.

Bozrog: As for our Wizards, I was very impressed. Ufwurz has them playing well. Zagag the Sleak looked the part on his debut...Rather, his touches were sublime, his runs were elusive, and his shots were scintillating. In short, it was a remarkable debut. As for The Dragonians, they never quit. It must be said they were fielding an Under 23 side, so perhaps the result flatters the host a little.

Morgob the Pedant: Thank you, Bozrog, for your sage analysis. Thanks also go to Guntur Ruak for his political commentary and to Flashgob for being a right old mardy bar steward. Goodnight for now. We leave you with the results and the current table, along with a list of Matchday 2's fixtures to be played tomorrow. Good night and may all your tomes prove enlightening.

The Cup of Harmony

Matchday 1 Results
Rejistania 1 Evisceratomatoes 1
Spaam 1 NASTIC 2 2
The Weegies 0 Tranquillitis 0
Warnocks Wizards 3 The Dragonian Empire 0

Current Tables
[code:1:97a67cb86b]
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#34 Warnocks Wizards 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
#50 The Weegies 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
#62 Tranquillitis 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
#57 The Dragonian Empire 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0

Group B P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#60 NASTIC 2 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
#38 Rejistania 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
#74 Evisceratomatoes 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
#37 Spaam 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
[/code:1:97a67cb86b]

Matchday Two Fixtures
#38 Rejistania v. #60 NASTIC 2 at The Tower
#37 Spaam v. #74 Evisceratomatoes at The Lane
#50 The Weegies v. #57 The Dragonian Empire at Shelobs Lair
#34 Warnocks Wizards v. #62 Tranquillitis at Fortress Warnock

*** Press Release ***
Ready for Immediate Distribution

Shelobs Lair, Warnocks Wizards--Guntur Ruak, manager of Warnocks Wizards giant spider side Shelobs Obsession, has announced that he will unveil his new team tomorrow. The side will be named during a glitzy halftime show at the Cup of Harmony match between Warnocks Wizards and Tranquillitis at Fortress Warnock. Team owner and billionaire spider Shelob-VIII-Legs is scheduled to be in attendence.

Matchday 2 results have now been sent out by telegram.

Red and White Wizards Tranquilise Opponents 2-1 at Fortress Warnock

Ufwurz’s Lads Play with Harmony And Win Second Straight Cup Match

From our news services...

Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–Warnocks Wizards fans were entertained again last evening and left Fortress Warnock in a harmonious mood. The Red and White Wizards won their second in two games of the competition, defeating an impressive Tranquillitis side 2-1, and those in attendance witnessed an historic and awe-inspiring halftime show. Though, it must be said, many of the hobbits watching from the stands probably wished they were somewhere else at halftime.

Not wishing to interfere too much with a side in good form, Manager Ufwurz the Furious made only one change to the starting eleven. Rugged defender Mausnik the Cleaver returned to the defense and quick full back Ufdush the Nasty dropped to the bench. Versatile defender Ghazukh the Burner switched over to Ufdush’s right back spot. By making the move, Ufwurz added some steel to the center of defense to try and counter what the manager called “a highly underrated side.” Despite the changes, the Wizards lined up in their favoured 4-3-1-2 formation.

The Red and White Wizards kicked off the match, and their midfield was again displaying the fine form of recent weeks. The Tranquillitis Moose were having difficulty winning possession off of the likes of wingers Bagdreg the Mauler and Akhklash the Emaciated. The Wizards took an early lead on twelve minutes when Akhklash’s centering pass, initially missed by Zagag the Sleak, fell nicely to Ishklash the Snooty who struck a fine shot that visiting goalkeeper Stefan Eriksson could not stop. 1-0 to the Red and White Wizards. Pushed on by their home supporters, the National Team continued to threaten the Moose. However, defenders David Nilsson and Per Lundqvist were proving equal to the task and the Wizards failed to have another good chance at goal in the first half. The Moose nearly drew level at the end of the half, as their play began to dictate the match. Mikael Andersson was unfortunate not to score when his wickedly struck half-volley from a nice Andreas Kallstrom feed grazed the far post. The Wizards were quite lucky to go in at the half with a 1-0 lead.

With the home fans celebrating an early lead and the visitors encouraged by the way their team finished the half, all were ready for some halftime entertainment. None were prepared for the spectacle that descended upon them. Amidst some generated fog, a large, black shape descended from the heavens by way of a shiny string substance. It was a giant spider playing a harp! The audience gasped in astonishment and several members of the Tranquillitis football delegation ran for cover behind the stands. As the eight-leg approached the centre circle and was emitting a haunting melody from her radiant golden harp, she boomed, “We are Shelob-VIII-Legs and behold! Here are our Obsession! Descend my children! The world is your playground!”

Appearing from the fog and gliding towards the pitch were twenty-two other giant spiders and a rather frightened looking human. After a short ceremony, Guntur Ruak, for it was he who was the human, introduced the new Shelobs Obsession giant spider football team. The club, which are about to embark upon play in the Giant Evil Spider Football League, were warmly applauded and left the field via the East Gate, from which the visiting Tranquillitis team was emerging. The Tranquillitis federation officials retook their seats as did a few score of hobbits who ran for cover at halftime.

The second half kicked off with Tranquillitis again in control of the match. They threw everything they had at the Wizards defense. Captain Shagrukh the Stronglaw seemed to be organising his mates to weather the storm, when the match was leveled on 70 minutes. Tranquillitis captain Magnus Magnusson muscled his way to a 50-50 ball and quickly hit the streaking Henrik Jonsson with a first-time pass. The quick Moose attacker was away, behind the slower Mausnik the Cleaver. He made a deft move around on-rushing keeper Ishhak the Smasher and coolly dribbled the ball into the empty net. The match was now even at 1-1. Fearing the game might be slipping away, Manager Ufwurz introduced all three substitutes thereafter. New midfielders Gromdul the Gasher and Ghazghash the Sleazy provided just the right spark to restore play to the Red and White Wizards. Although their fine midfield play turned the game, it was the effort of strong-man Mausnik the clinched the match on 78 minutes. Ghazghash won a corner, which Bagdreg stood over. His driven ball to the near post was headed in by the Cleaver, for his first international goal. Goalkeeper Stefan Eriksson could only watch the match winner go by. The Wizardites in the crowd were ecstatic, and watched as their beloved team withstood several more barrages from the Tranquillitis side. Full time: Warnocks Wizards 2, Tranquillitis 1.

Warnocks Wizards: Ishhak the Smasher, Ghaztrak the Gouger, Mausnik the Cleaver, Shagrukh the Strongclaw (c), Ghazukh the Burner, Bublok the Destroyer (Gromdul the Gasher 71), Bagdreg the Mauler, Akhklash the Emaciated (Ghazghash the Sleazy 71), Gabdul the Looter, Zagag the Sleak (Ashmazh the Tough 71), Ishklash the Snooty.

Unused substitutes: Globtakh the Timid, Ufdush the Nasty.

With their win against Tranquillitis and second win of the tournament, the Red and White Wizards have clinched a spot in the second round of the Cup of Harmony. For their third and final match of group play, the National Team will face The Weegies at Fortress Warnock.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Tranquillitis Nyheter
Tjänande Anden sedan den är 1955

Moose Fall Short
-Erik Åkerfeldt

WARNOCKS WIZARDS - After a hard fought battle and a half-time show that sent Tranquillits Football Federation president Markus Gustafsson to the hospital, the Moose ended up with a disappointing 2-1 defeat at the hands of the hosts.

The match started well for the hosts, and their pressure paid off with a goal in the 12th minute. Ishklash the Snooty wound up with a pass intended for Zagak the Sleak, and put it past Eriksson for the match's first goal.

After some impressive defensive play by David Nilsson and Per Lundqvist, once again sparkling for the Moose, the Moose began to turn the pressure on the hosts, and were very unlucky to score when Andersson's shot off a Källström pass barely went wide.

After the halftime show, the story of which can be found on page 2 of the sports section, the Moose continued to press the Wizards. The hosts played fantastic defence, but the Moose managed to equalize in the 70th minute, with an impressive individual effort from Henrik Jonsson.

After some Wizards' substitutions, the hosts began to regain control of the match, and regained control in the 78th minute when Mausnik the Cleaver headed a corner into the net past a helpless Eriksson. The match ended 2-1.

The Moose must now win their final match with The Dragonian Empire to have any hope of advancing. With impressive play like today, the Moose should be victorious, but this tournament has not been without surprises.

[code:1:f779ebd557]
Warnocks Wizards 2 (Ishklash the Snooty 12, Mausnik the Cleaver 78)
v.
The Moose 1 (Jonsson 70)
[/code:1:f779ebd557]

The stands at Fortress Warnock. Tranquillitis Football Federation President Markus Gustafsson was sitting in an excellent seat to view the match, and his secretary Hanna Andersson sat beside him.

"I'm glad I convinced you to come out here and take in a match," Hanna said. "I was surprised when you told me you have never seen the Moose play live."

"Well, I really wanted to get away from the office for awhile after the debacle with the Chinese food and schedule," Gustafsson replied. "I'm just happy that it's here and not at that dreadful Shelob's Lair. I HATE spiders."

Hanna rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know, Mr. Gustafsson. Remember that time you hid in your closet and I had to come into the office to stamp out a spider on the rug?"

"Yes I do, and it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life."

The final whistle blew, and the local fans and Tranquillitis football federation officials began to head to the concession.

"I'm going to get a drink. Want anything?" Hanna asked her boss.

"Just a water, please," Markus replied, looking very out of place.

Hanna headed off with the crowd and the other members of the Tranquillitis delegation who were sitting behind the two, leaving Markus sitting beside a rather large Uruk-hai. Gustafsson looked him over and offered a weak smile, and then looked away and rolled his eyes.

Just then, a fog began to fill the stadium, as the lights went out and focused on midfield. Markus looked around in a panic.

"What's going on? Hanna? HANNA! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

The fog emited the gentle sounds of a harp, and Markus relaxed a little, until he saw the black shape descending along with the harp.

"SPIDER! GIANT SPIDER! HELP ME! HELP!" he screamed. Gustafsson leaped right into the lap of the Uruk-hai beside him. He looked up and screamed again, diving under his chair.

"We are Shelob-VIII-Legs," the spider boomed. "And behold! Her are our Obsession! Descend my children! The world is your playground!"

Gustafsson looked up to see twenty-two more spiders descending. He screamed in pure terror and left his hiding place, starting to run up the stairs. He ran straight into Hanna, who was returning with the two drinks. The drinks went flying and Gustafsson flew down the brief flight of stairs, hitting his head on the metal railing.

A few hours later...

Sirens blaring, the ambulance waited to receive the stretcher with a prone Mr. Gustafsson. His neck was in a brace and his suit smelled like cheap ale.

Hanna, meanwhile, was trying her hardest not to laugh, but her dancing blue eyes gave away her thoughts. "I'm sorry, Mr. Gustafsson, I should've stayed with you to protect you from those spiders."

"HANNA! Where the hell were you?" Gustafsson demanded, unable to look at Hanna due to his neck brace.

"Well, I was with the rest of the guys in the concession line when we heard about the spiders. We were pretty scared at first, and we ran behind the stands, but I got curious and headed back, and that's when you ran into me."

"Hanna, remind me never to leave my office again."

"Yes, Mr. Gustafsson."

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SyLy secures victory
The Junis'omeh played their second match in the Cup of harmony in The Tower, again. This may seem coincidental to nearly everyone, but Ila Iles does not share this opinion: "I guess someone in this group payed a high amount of money to get this venues. Everyone knows, that Rejistania is a very flat country and we are simply not used to heights. I am totally sure, that some <censored> tryed to get an advance over us!" (One word couldn't be printed, since children also read this newspaper) But if this was not coincidental, someone has to do a large write-off, since the Orange-Blues won there, even without their first goalkeeper Syku Hexen. Raju Hisenha again replaced him and again tryed to disprove Hangilas quote of the WC match against Ariddia: "Hexen'he just plays because Raju [The rejistanian word 'raju' means great] isn't it."

Th game against NASTIC 2 was fast and balanced. The reason, for the Junis'omeh victory was not, that they had more chances, but that they used them better. Syku Lyku scored both goals of this match, one with a beautiful header after a corner shot by Su. the second goal was archieved by SyLy in a counter. Rejistania now moves to the first or the second spot on the group table, depending on, if Evisceratomatoes defeat Spaam with more than 2 goals difference.

Again, the whole crazy went crazy about the victory and again, economist Len Xeldo contacted our newspaper to point out, what devastating consequences the fact that we have such a good national team has to the economy.

Rejistania 2 (Lyku 2x)
NASTIC 2 0 (this is NOT a twenty, the teams name is NASTIC 2)

No I think its 20 :lol:

National Mascot, Businesswoman Involved in Hospital Pandemonium

Rahzlok and Shelob-VIII-Legs Prove Unwelcome Guests to Visiting Dignitary

From our news services...

Barad-Dur, Warnocks Wizards--This morning National Mascot Arch-Mage Rahzlok the Alligator and billionaire giant spider Shelob-VIII-Legs were at the centre of an hysterical episode at Barad-Dur General Hospital. Making their usual weekly rounds to the childrens ward, bringing joy to the unfortunate little ones of the Empire, the benevolent duo noticed that Tranquillitis Football Federation President Markus Gustafsson was also convalescing at the hospital. Following a panic attack and fall at Fortress Warnock during the Warnocks Wizards-Tranquillitis football match, the dignitary was taken to Barad-Dur General Hospital. Wishing to pay their respects to Mr. Gustafsson, the two made their way to his private room.

Sitting around the bed of the sleeping dignitary were members of his staff. Upon seeing a nine-foot salivating alligator and giant spider enter the room, several of the staff screamed and dove for cover. Never ones to be dissuaded from performing charitable acts, Rahzlok and Shelob-VIII-Legs quietly approached Gustafsson's bed. The Tranquillitis football president, starting to stir due to the shrieks of terror emanating around the room, awoke to a large crocodilian and arachnid hovering over him. Despite a very polite, "Greetingssss Misssster Gustafsssson." from Arch-Mage Rahzlok, the obviously startled and horrified Tranquillitan desperately tried to press the button to summon his nurse.

"We are very sorry to hear of your accident," tried Shelob-VIII-Legs.

Gustafsson replied with a thoughful, "NURSE!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!ALLIGATOR!!!!!!! SPIDER!!!!!!"

"Yes, that is correct. He is an alligator and we are a spider. Look, Rahzlok he's coming to his senses."

This brought a running group of nurses, wielding sedatives. Gustafsson seemed to be settling down when his doctor entered the room. The appearance of the seven foot tall Uruk'Hai seemed to send him back into hysteria.

"Theressssss jussssssst no consssssssoling him," remarked Rahzlok as he and Shelob-VIII-Legs left the room to allow the straight jacket team and shock therapy unit to do their work. Get well cards can be sent to the hospital in Markus Gustafsson's name, care of the Uruk'Hai psychiatric ward.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Football Federation Chairman Responds to Accusations of Venue Fixing

Globmazh the Mean Speaks Out

From our news services...

New Orthanc, Warnocks Wizards--Speaking from his desk, Warnocks Wizards Football Federation Chairman Globmazh the Mean dispelled rumours emanating from the Rejistania delegation at the Cup of Harmony. Ostensibly because they have played two matches at The Tower, the lowland-native Rejistanis have claimed that some of the other federations have bribed their way to favourable venue draws. "There is absolutely no merit to these claims that we were approached by various competing federations to come up with a favourable venue draw," noted Globmazh. The polite chairman, munching on a tomato then offered this reporter a box of tomatoes and numerous cans of processed meat. "Please, take some. I have more than I'll ever need in my lifetime."

In other news, the ensuing Spaam-Rejistania Cup of Harmony match, originally scheduled for The Lane may have to be moved to another venue due to "unforseen circumstances." Cup organisers are believed to be leaning towards moving the match to The Tower. Stay tuned for further developments.

Thrakhak the Slinger, reporting for WW1

Weegies Star Sport Report.

After a unconvincing draw against Tranquilitis, The Weegies proved their worth once more by defeating The Dragonian Empire 1-0 today.

After both national teams received what was thought to be rather disappointing results, they obviously had geared up slightly for their clash, which would probably decide who would get a chance at qualifying for the next stage.

Attacking football was played by both sides, but the so called "Trio of Trouble" Kincaid, De Bruis and Smith began working their magic against the Dragonians and started to push back after a hairy half hour for the team, veteran Devopoulous doing his famous "brick wall" impression to keep the Dragonians out - solid, sturdy, looking absolutely impassible -giving time for the Trio to regroup and cause problems for the Dragonian defence.

But they did not breach the opposing goal until the 77th minute, when an impressive flick from Kincaid into the area found De Bruis who volleyed it past the keeper to give The Weegies a deserved win, and consigning the unfortunate Dragonians to the bottom of the group.

The only black spot on the solid performance of The Weegies was another suspension for troubled defender Mardot, after collecting two yellow cards in the competition. The Star wonders whether Mackintyre should consider if he wishes a player as hot-headed as Mardot to continue in the national squad.

OOC:@NASTIC 2: Now I finally understand why the 2 is at the end of your country name
@Warnocks Wizards: Great idea :)

IC:
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Evidence of venue fixing found
Sometimes, a dementi is the best evidence. So it was when Warnocks Wizards Football Federation Chairman Globmazh the Mean found the strange accusations of Ila Iles not just worth a dementi, which normally would be a clear indicator, that something is wrong. No, in his attempt to give his version of the truth, he merely enhances to suspicion, that the WWFF is corruptible and by this highly unmoral. Warnocks Wizards 1 report that the next game will be moved due to 'unforseen circumstances' and that it is probable, that the game will be on the tower again. Teke Daran called the events: "Highly unfair and against the basic rules of moralizy"

-------------------------------

At the same time, a letter is send from Teke Daran, chief of the Rejistania Football Association to Globmazh the Mean:

Honored Globmazh the Mean,
We have heard about the latest accusations, about venue fixing in the Cup of Harmony. We are sure that this is nothing but bad rumour. We are sure, that this "unforseen circumstaces" you refered to are nothing but coincidental. But if there is a need, the RejistanhaFA will of course grant you financial support to help you to cope with these circumstances. I am looking forward to a match on a not so high place.
Yours sincerely,
Teke Daran

EDIT: fixed some typoes and re-formulated the last sentence of the article in the KaMaRi-Update.

To: The Honourable Teke Daran,
Chief of the Rejistania Football Association

From: Globmazh the Mean
Chairman, Warnocks Wizards Football Federation

Re: Matchday 3 Venue for Rejistania

Dear Mr. Daran:

Thank you for your correspondence and offer to assist with our current problem regarding the venue for the upcoming Spaam-Rejistania match in The Cup of Harmony. The organisers are currently facing a problem with The Lane football stadium, originally scheduled to host your upcoming match. Due to an unforeseen deluge in the area just around the ground, the entire area is flooded. We are investigating the cause of the flood, which meterologists cannot explain at this time. It seems rain did not cause the problem and our scientists are at a loss to explain it.

One explanation we are leaning towards is that the flood was caused by a rift in the basic harmony of the cosmos, perhaps the result of continual argument and disharmony at the World Cup. At any rate, your generous offer should clear the pitch of flooding in time for tomorrow's match. At the present time, the match will therefore be played at the planned venue, The Lane. We wish your team the best of luck in tomorrow's match. Sincerely,

Globmazh the Mean

The Cup of Harmony

Matchday One Results
Rejistania 1 Evisceratomatoes 1
Spaam 1 NASTIC 2
The Weegies 0 Tranquillitis 0
Warnocks Wizards 3 The Dragonian Empire 0

Matchday Two Results
Rejistania 2 NASTIC 0
Spaam 3 Evisceratomatoes 1
The Weegies 1 The Dragonian Empire 0
Warnocks Wizards 2 Tranquillitis 1

Current Tables
[code:1:8d6e8602eb]
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#34 Warnocks Wizards 2 2 0 0 5 1 +4 6
#50 The Weegies 2 1 1 0 1 0 +1 4
#62 Tranquillitis 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
#57 The Dragonian Empire 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0

Group B P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#38 Rejistania 2 1 1 0 3 1 +2 4
#37 Spaam 2 1 0 1 4 3 +1 3
#60 NASTIC 2 2 1 0 1 2 3 -1 3
#74 Evisceratomatoes 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
[/code:1:8d6e8602eb]

Matchday Three Fixtures
#60 NASTIC 2 v. #74 Evisceratomatoes at The Tower
#37 Spaam v. #38 Rejistania at The Lane
#57 The Dragonian Empire v. #62 Tranquillitis at Shelobs Lair
#34 Warnocks Wizards v. #50 The Weegies at Fortress Warnock

Harmony Tonight

From a recent palantiri broadcast...

After a flash introduction featuring highlights from matches at The Cup of Harmony overlaid with inspiring music from virtuoso composer Vorros the Wise, the images dissolve to reveal a flamboyant wizard wearing a purple satin robe and a rather unconvincing red toupee. Sitting next to him is a disheveled, elderly wizard.

Flashgob the Bombast: Welcome to Harmony Tonight where we will review the latest events at The Cup of Harmony. Matchday two was the round of the favourite and included another inspiring result for the host side. Joining me in the studio is my aged partner Morgob the Pedant, long overdue for retirement.

Morgob the Pedant: And you are long overdue for some new carpeting.

Flashgob: Morgob, if you were a horse, the producers would take you out back and put you out of your misery.

The scene fades and is replaced by sleep-inducing music and a hasty board that reads “Experiencing technical difficulties...Please stand by.” After a few moments when muffled yells can be heard in the background and the notice board begins to shake...the picture returns. Flashgob is now bald and is sporting a clearly reddening right eye, while Morgob has his tunic over his head.

Flashgob: After that needed commercial break, brought to you by Shelobs Obsession, welcome back. Morgob, (now readjusting his tunic) let’s first take a look at the latest results of the tournament. On the dizzying heights of The Tower, Rejistania defeated NASTIC 2-0, while Spaam consumed the Evisceratomatoes 3-1 at The Lane. Your thoughts on these Group B matches?

Morgob: Syku Lyku, the Rejistanis best player, was very impressive and was the difference in the first match. Truly an international class player and had he been involved in the World Cup, surely he would be regarded as one of the top 10 or even top 5 players in the world.

Flashgob: High praise indeed. But, please, don’t call me Shirley.

Morgob: Were your ears attached to that rug? In the other match, our palantir feed was completely obliterated by a freak deluge at The Lane. The processed meat side defeated the fighting fruit 3-1, but we’ll have to take it from the referee.

Flashgob: I believe that freakish deluge caused a massive flood only at The Lane. It’s a wonder the fighting Meat Tins and Tomatoes weren’t swept away by the flooding.

Morgob: Who knows? Maybe they were?

Flashgob: What did you say about my nose?

Morgob: At any rate, I am informed by some contacts that The Lane should be cleared in time for tomorrow’s match between the top two sides in Group B, Rejistania and Spaam. The winner of that match will be guaranteed a spot in the semifinals.

Flashgob: For that matter all four teams are still alive in this group and have a chance to advance to the semifinals. Which is not the situation in Group A.

Morgob: Indeed. Our Red and White Wizards, with their battling 2-1 victory over Tranquillitis, have secured a spot in the semifinals. In the other match, The Weegies edged out The Dragonians, eliminating that Empire from advancement in this tournament.

Flashgob: The Weegies will prove difficult opponents in the Wizards’ final match. The “Trio of Trouble”–Kincaid, De Bruis, and Smith–were the difference in the match with the Dragons. They will give Shagrukh, Ghazukh and company a tough test tomorrow.

Morgob: Tranquillitis also gave the National Team a good match. Ironically, it was tough man Mausnik the Cleaver that provided the skill that won the match. Tranquillitis, their poor bedridden federation president aside, are going places. Let’s hope they are allowed to compete for the next World Cup. They sure don’t perform like muppets.

Flashgob: Looking ahead in Group A, the Wizards as mentioned are through to the semifinals and The Dragons are eliminated. The final semifinal spot is therefore between The Weegies and Tranquillitis. What are the possibilities there?

Morgob: The Moose can only advance if they win their final match against the Dragons and The Weegies lose to the Wizards. All other results in the two matches see The Weegies advancing.

Flashgob: Good luck to all the teams and their supporters tomorrow. And to Tranquillitis federation president Markus Gustafsson, get well soon. Join us at the same time next week as we preview the semifinals of the Cup of Harmony.

Morgob: May all your tomes prove enlightening.

Matchday 3 results have now been sent out by telegram.

Nate gathered the Evisceratomatoes about him. "A glorious win, my little aubergines," he said. "Although we were defeated by the Fighting Canned Meats 3-1, you came back to eviscerate the Fighting Acronyms of NASTIC 2 by the same score. Well played, my little bartlett's pears, well played!

"I especially want to congratulate you, dear Elvis," Nate addressed the Zombiemato keeper, Elvis Irate. "Although undead, you turned back shot after shot. I have a double helping of brains for you today. Yes, that's right, my little decayed apricot, a double helping!

"So we finish the first round with three points. We are ahead of the nasty Nastics on goal difference, my little plums, ahead! We must wait and see how the Fighting Oranges have fared against the Spaamanians. Go Reji- Rijistoop - Rejistania!"

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QUALIFIED!
The Orange Blues have archieved a draw against higher ranked team Spaam. This, and a victory of Evisceratomatoes against NASTIC 2, have made it possible for them to play in the final round. Venue for this game was 'The Lane'. No one had considered, that this is possible, but after the mysterious flooding, the Warnocks Wizards managed to get the field in a good condition in an unbelievable amount of time. Syku Hexen, who really enjoyed playing a match from the beginning to the end, said about this: "It was out-of-compare. The Warnocks Wizards did a great job in fixing the damages, you did not see that the flood was there. I am really glad, that the game was not on The Tower!" Teke Daran said about this strange incidents: "After contacting their Chairman, I am sure, that he is an honest man. Just as honst as I am. He would be that biased against us."

The game started with a shock for the Orange-Blues, as spaamian side <player> used an error in the orange-blue defense to archieve the 0-1. In such a desperate situation, the rejistanian made a desperate decision: They played suddently very offensive soccer. But also this did not help, since the Spaamian defense resembled those of the Anti-Nazis in the first leg of the World Cup qualifiers. Junis'omeh was down one goal until the 87th minute. Then, Xeseja Su, scored with an incredible long shot, from shortly behind the middle line. Xeseja Su commented later: "I did not think, that it would work, it was merely anger and desperation." Sometimes even this helps.

Spaam 1 (<player> 3rd minute)
Rejistania 1 (Su 87th minute)

Rejistanian top scorers in this tournament:
Lyku: 3
Su: 1

EDIT: Damn, why do I see errors always when they are posted?

(OOC: This is just a joke, I don't actually feel ripped off :p )

Barad-Dur General Hospital, Room 308

"How are you doing Mr. Gustafsson?" Hanna was visiting her boss in the hospital after a long trip back from Shelob's Lair.

"I had the most awful dream," Gustafsson responded. "I was lying here in bed, and when I woke up, that huge spider was back, along now with some crazy alligator in a wizard's hat. Then I saw the doctor come in, and it was that creepy looking Uruk that sat beside me when we went to that match. Luckily there were some nurses who rushed in and I didn't see any more of it, but it was a horrible nightmare."

Better not give him this, Hanna thought to herself, putting the autographed picture of Shelob and the alligator mascot back in her bag.

"How did we do?" Markus asked his secretary.

"We won, Mr. Gustafsson, 3 to 1."

"We did? Excellent! Does that mean we're in the semi finals?"

"No, Mr. Gustafsson." Hanna had to choose her words carefully, as she knew that her boss was not allowed to get excited, something which his doctor, who had sat beside them at the Fortress Warnock, had told her before she entered the room. "The Wizards drew with The Weegies 3-3, so they are through and we are out, unfortunately."

Gustafsson's face turned red. "3-3? After all this country has put me through, their bloody national team let in 3 goals from the Weegies? How many did the Weegies get on us?"

"None, Mr. Gustafsson."

"Exactly. It's obviously a huge conspiracy by that huge spider and the president of this country. They obviously want to keep us out of making any money off attendance that might pay for the rest of my hospital fees. The cost of being here is huge. Three goals by the Weegies, bloody ridiculous."

Hanna rolled her eyes. "I think that concussion is acting up. I guess they just had a bad game."

"Bad game, hah. They didn't win on purpose. I'm going to send them a letter, write this down for me please."

Hanna sighed. "Fine."

----------------------------------------------

[code:1:baccb7b49c]
The Moose 3 (Andersson 12, Svensson 43, Wilhelmsson 71)
v.
Dragonian Empire 1 (<player> 16)
[/code:1:baccb7b49c]

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To: Globmazh the Mean, Chairman, Warnocks Wizards Football Federation
From: Sir Markus Gustafsson, President, Tranquillitis Football Federation

Dear Mr. Mean,

I am outraged by the blatant lack of emotion and simple lack of talent displayed by your team here today. It is obvious to me that the Warnocks Wizards Football Federation, and the nation of Warnocks Wizards itself, has conspired against Tranquillitis and has robbed us of a spot in the semi-finals.

Three goals allowed against THE WEEGIES? Tranquillitis, a side who had no international experience prior to World Cup IX Qualifying, held the obviously extremely potent Weegies offensive machine to no goals during our match. No goals! We felt that a team almost double our ranking would be able to replicate this, however, it is easy to see that we are wrong.

Is this the same side that defeated us 2-1 in that night when you sent your large spiders to assassinate me? (Please forgive his mindset, he is not well - H. Andersson) I find it very hard to believe that this same team could play so poorly so soon after a brilliant match, so the only obvious conclusion is that your federation is conspiring against the national football team of Tranquillitis, denying our lads, who have played so well during the Cup of Harmony, a chance at developing their skill, only a taste of which was displayed today against the Dragonian Empire, when we smashed them 3-1 (and the Weegies only beat them 1-0).

I wish to discuss this with either you, or, if you are one of those disgusting Uruks, a somewhat human representative about this matter. No giant spiders playing harps, or no other animals, say, a giant alligator or some other kind of murderous creature.

Please respond at your earliest convienience.

Sincerly,
Sir Markus Gustafsson
President, Tranquillitis Football Federation

Red and White Wizards Win Group in Cup of Harmony Goalfest

Host Side Overcome Two Deficits in 3-3 Draw with The Weegies

From our news services...

Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–Despite three goals from the visitors “Trio of Terror,” the host Wizards managed to earn a point and win Group A in the Cup of Harmony. The lads overcame two 1-goal deficits to gain a share of the points in front of a rocking Fortress Warnock crowd. The draw means the Wizards will face Group B runner-up Spaam in the Semifinals of the tournament.

With a spot in the next round already assured, Manager Ufwurz the Furious used the opportunity to rest some of his frontline players and give more of the squad a look-in. Globtakh the Timid was handed a rare start in goal. Left back Shaghosh the Raider earned only his second cap. Ufdush the Nasty and Akhburz the Straggler were also given a chance to stake a claim in the starting eleven. Krumsnak the Sneaky, his zimmer frame now repaired, regained a spot in midfield alongside Gromdul the Gasher and Durbret the Choker. Finally, target man Ashmazh the Tough started up front next to the increasingly impressive Zagag the Sleak. With the midfield changes in particular, the Wizards lined up in a 4-4-2, largely in an attempt to deal with The Weegies’ dangerous “Trio of Terror:” Kincaid, De Bruis, and Smith.

The match started out for the host Wizards, with Ashmazh opening the scoring on 14 minutes. Durbret’s well driven cross found the head of the tall striker, whose competent header sailed past the visiting Weegies goalkeeper. 1-0 to the Red and White Wizards and the crowd were loving it. The Weegies immediately tried to get back in the game and their fine trio were proving problems for the home side’s midfield. Globtakh did well to hold a drive from De Bruis, but a goal for The Weegies seemed to be coming. On 36 minutes it was Kincaid who found the leveler. After Akhburz had slipped, the Weegie found space for a shot and took his chances from twenty yards out. The ball scuffled along the ground alluding the Timid one and leveling the score. Manager Ufwurz could be heard cursing on the touchline; Globtakh really should have saved the shot. Nevertheless, the match was all square at 1-1 as the sides left the pitch for their respective locker rooms.

The visitors came out through the East Gate with increased confidence. They began the second half brightly, leaving Ufwurz to ponder the choice of making so many changes to his starting eleven. Smith gave The Weegies a 2-1 lead on 52 minutes. With Shaghosh and Akhburz tripping over themselves like a set of prize-winning Uruk’Hai ice dancers, Smith walked in on goal and beat the hapless keeper Globtakh with a cross-shot. Ufwurz bellowed from his dugout, “Stay on your feet you muppets!” Seeing such laughable play from the inexperienced Raider, Ufwurz sent on Ghaztrak the Gouger to take over at left back. The change buoyed the Wizards and it didn’t take them long to find the equaliser. Ghaztraks’ cross found Zagag whose fine shot was palmed away by The Weegie keeper. Fortunately for the host side, Durbret was first to the rebound and quickly got off a shot that found the back of the net. The Wizards had drawn even at 2-2 on 64 minutes. The see-saw battle tipped back in the visitors favour shortly after. The Weegies continually pressed for a third, but time seemed to be running out. With the match looking like a draw, De Bruis scored a stunner on 85 minutes. He slammed a shot from 30 yards that hooked into the top corner and looked like a worthy match winner; 3-2 to the visitors. Thinking they had secured all three points, The Weegies brought all their men behind the ball. The Wizards countered, naturally by throwing everything forward, but it looked to be too little to late. In the third minute of injury time, the lads stole one back. Substitute Ghazghash the Sleazy finished past a maze of defenders following a scramble in the box after a corner. A scrappy goal, but one that had won Group A for the hosts of the Cup of Harmony. The home crowd went bananas as their beloved heroes celebrated on the pitch. Full time: Warnocks Wizards 3, The Weegies 3.

Warnocks Wizards: Globtakh the Timid, Shaghosh the Raider (Ghaztrak the Gouger 55), Akhburz the Straggler, Mausnik the Cleaver, Ufdush the Nasty, Krumsnak the Sneaky (Ghazghash the Sleazy 73), Gromdul the Gasher (Gabdul the Looter 87), Bublok the Destroyer, Durbret the Choker, Ashmazh the Tough, Zagag the Sleak.

Unused substitutes: Krumsnik the Paunch, Globdreg the Destroyer.

For finishing top of Group A, the Red and White Wizards will face Group B runner-up Spaam in a Semifinal match at Fortress Warnock. In the other Cup of Harmony semifinal, Group B winner Rejistania will face Group A runner-up The Weegies at Shelobs Lair. Good luck to the lads in their quest to bring home the Cup.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Weegies Star Sport Report.

So near, yet so far... The Weegies were once again held to a draw by a Warnocks Wizards side, after looking as if they might just snatch the top spot, and all the glory that would have come with that.

10,000 fans had managed to get tickets for the hotly-anticipated match between the two sides, although with Warnocks Wizards already assured of a semi-final spot, the opposition wasn't as strong as it normally was. Fans were confident, and although Mardot was out (again), an almost full strength squad came out to try and overcome the Wizards, with talented youngster Stuart replacing Devopoulous in goal.

The start was a tentative one, the two sides sizing each other up, probing the respective defences for weaknesses to exploit, but the Wizards took first blood, with Ashmash scoring in the 14th minute, and the groans of the Weegie fans could be heard throughout the arena, just above the hoots and shouts of the Wizards.

But the Weegies were too pessimistic, it seemed. After 36 minutes, with a side that seemed to become resolute in their search for an equaliser, got one through winger Kincaid. A slip from Akhburz, a little turn on the ball to get into space, and a low, scuffling shot from 20 yards meant the Weegies were back in the game.

After half time, the faces of the Weegies were even more fixed than before. Completely determined to try and beat the Wizards on their home turf, they pushed forward, the midfielders going well up with the attackers to try a "Do or die" approach against the tough opponents. And perennial matchscorer Smith seemed to give us the "Do", with a walk through the back line, looking increasingly incommunicable with one another, and with Mahé supplying a cross, all Smith had to do was volley it past the unsupported keeper.

Changes were made by the Wizards' manager, looking daggers at the back four, and these seemed to give the home side a boost, with a cross and a strike beaten away by Stuart, an acrobatic save, but he couldn't have been in two places at once, as the ball fell to Durbret, who was left with an easy set up and the equaliser.

With the struggle going slightly in favour of The Weegies, especially in midfield, the third of the "Trio of Trouble", as the fans have dubbed the Weegie international stars, Peter De Bruis, made his contribution with a blasting strike from far out that curled past the keeper and looked as if the match would go the Weegies' way.

But the manager Mackintyre fell into his old ways again, going into a devensive strategy that the Weegies never ever look comfortable with, and Wizard pressure told in the dying seconds of the match as sub Ghazghash scraped the ball past the keeper in a messy box.

"Well, ironically, this may prove fortunate." said Mackintyre, obviously trying to put the best face on it. "Who in the entire population of The Weegies really wanted to face off against veteran team Spaam in the semis? I think we could just take Rejistania, although it will be a hard fought match."

The Cup of Harmony

Matchday One Results
Rejistania 1 Evisceratomatoes 1
Spaam 1 NASTIC 2
The Weegies 0 Tranquillitis 0
Warnocks Wizards 3 The Dragonian Empire 0

Matchday Two Results
Rejistania 2 NASTIC 0
Spaam 3 Evisceratomatoes 1
The Weegies 1 The Dragonian Empire 0
Warnocks Wizards 2 Tranquillitis 1

Matchday Three Results
NASTIC 1 Evisceratomatoes 3
Spaam 1 Rejistania 1
The Dragonian Empire 1 Tranquillitis 3
Warnocks Wizards 3 The Weegies 3

Final Group Tables
[code:1:12ce4bd161]
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#34 Warnocks Wizards 3 2 1 0 8 4 +4 7
#50 The Weegies 3 1 2 0 4 3 +1 5
#62 Tranquillitis 3 1 1 1 4 3 +1 4
#57 The Dragonian Empire 3 0 0 3 1 7 -6 0

Group B P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#38 Rejistania 3 1 2 0 4 2 +2 5
#37 Spaam 3 1 1 1 5 4 +1 4
#74 Evisceratomatoes 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
#60 NASTIC 2 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 3
[/code:1:12ce4bd161]

The Cup of Harmony Semifinals
#38 Rejistania v. #50 The Weegies at Shelobs Lair
#34 Warnocks Wizards v. #37 Spaam at Fortress Warnock

To: Sir Markus Gustafsson, President, Tranquillitis Football Federation

From: Globmazh the Mean, Chairman, Warnocks Wizards Football Federation

Dear Sir Markus:

Thank you for your kind correspondence. I can understand your dismay at not advancing to the next round of the Cup of Harmony. As we ourselves missed out on advancing to the current World Cup on goal differential, we here in Warnocks Wizards do not need to be told of the disappointment you must be feeling.

Please accept the enclosed can of tomatoes, meat tin, bag of oranges, and ouija board as way of an apology and get well gifts. For some reason, I have more of these items than I can ever use in a lifetime, so please, don't feel the need to send a thank you card.

I hope you don't mind, I've also forwarded a copy of your congenial letter to Ms. Shelob. She feels very sorry indeed to hear of your mental state. She feels responsible for your own personal predicament. You can look forward to receiving something from her in the near future.

All of us here in the Empire wish to thank you for entering your national side in the Cup of Harmony. We wish the Moose all the best in the future. Get well soon,

Globmazh the Mean

P.S. I thorougly enjoyed watching the recent hockey match between our two nations. The National Hockey federation have asked me to send you this Ice Gators signed hockey puck as further example of our good will.

To: Sir Markus Gustafsson, President, Tranquillitis Football Federation

From: Shelob-VIII-Legs, Queen, Shelobs Enterprises, Empire of Warnocks Wizards

Dear Sir Markus:

We hope this letter finds you well. We are truly very sorry to hear of your current predicament. We and Arch-Mage Rahzlok the Alligator had no intention of hindering your recovery with our latest visit. From your reaction to us, we gather that the medication you are on is effecting your sense of reality. In no way did our spider children try to "assassinate" you at Fortress Warnock, nor did we or Rahzlok intend to eat you when we visited your hospital room.

From what the doctor has told us, you suffer from an acute sense of arachnocrocodiliophobia. We are told the best way to deal with such fears is to confront them directly. Therefore, please find enclosed a signed photograph of our giant spider side Shelobs Obsession, passes to all of their matches in the Giant Evil Spider Football League, and a personal invitation to visit our Lair whenever you fancy.

Moreover, we understand you have incurred a sizeable list of expenses at Barad-Dur General Hospital. As we wish to further display our good will, do not worry, our accountant will take care of your entire hospital bill. You nor your federation will have to pay one goal [WW's currency].

We look forward to seeing you at some Shelobs Obsession matches in the future. Get well soon,

Shelob-VIII-Legs

Harmony Tonight

From a recent palantiri broadcast...

After a flash introduction featuring highlights from matches at The Cup of Harmony overlaid with inspiring music from virtuoso composer Vorros the Wise, the images dissolve to reveal a flamboyant wizard wearing a purple satin robe and a rather unconvincing red toupee. Sitting next to him is a disheveled, elderly wizard. Arranged in front of the hosts are an orange, a tin of reprocessed meat, a ouija board, and a small Arch-Mage Rahzlok the Alligator stuffed animal.

Flashgob the Bombast: Welcome to Harmony Tonight where we will review the latest events at The Cup of Harmony and look ahead to the semifinals. With my tonight is the deteriorating walking corpse, Morgob the Pedant. Welcome, oh ancient one.

Morgob the Pedant: You sad git. You’re not even worth the breath required to state a cutting insult.

Flashgob the Bombast: This week’s results saw a couple of wins from sides desperately trying to reach the semifinal round, and a couple of entertaining draws between the group heavyweights. In Group B, the always exciting Eviscerated Tomatoes ran out 3-1 winners at The Tower against the Fighting Acronyms of NASTIC 2.

Morgob: Yes, undead Zombiemato keeper, Elvis “Lives!” Irate, whose hair is much like yours Flashgob, was tremendous. I’ve never seen a rotting vegetable perform so well. Well, I’ve never seen a rotting tomato play in goal apart from Elvis, so that’s not saying much.

Flashgob: Indeed, The King always reminds me of the bits of vegetable one finds in fast food salads. Ever-present, but not quite edible.

Morgob: It will be a sad day when Elvis leaves the building for the final time.

Flashgob: In the other Group B match, the contest between group favourites The Fighting Meat Tins and The Oranges ended at 1-1 at The Lane. The Rejistanis were pleased to play this match at sea level, though in the end, it ended level.

Morgob: (sarcastic clapping) Such sage commentary. Kidding aside, Xeseja Su’s equaliser from beyond the centre line was nothing short of amazing. One would have thought that a goal such as that could only be scored at altitude. Well done to the Orange and Blue player.

Flashgob: Meanwhile, in Group A, the Tranquil Moose ran rough-shod over The Dragonian Empire. With goals from Andersson, Svensson, and Wilhelmsson, Tranquillitis romped to a 3-1 victory at Shelobs Lair.

Morgob: Indeed. The Moose impressed in this tournament, and are unfortunate to be heading home. Their poor federation president Markus Gustafsson must be devastated. In the end, however, they lost a match and The Weegies did not. And the board game toting nation advance.

Flashgob: Thank you for pilfering my segue.

Morgob: I’d rather steal that than nick your toupee.

Flashgob. Touche on the toupee.

Morgob: Get on with it, goofball.

Flashgob: Very well. In the final match in Group A, the Red and White Wizards drew with The Weegies in a barn-burner, 3-3 at Fortress Warnock.

Morgob: The Weegies looked quite good. Though it must be said Ufwurz rested a few of the lads. The Wizards showed their spirit by coming back from two deficits and getting the equaliser in injury time.

Flashgob: With the group stage now over, the semifinal matches have been drawn. Rejistania face The Weegies at Shelobs Lair and your own Warnocks Wizards will battle Spaam at Fortress Warnock. Morgob, your predictions?

Morgob: The Rejis will be happy to find that Shelobs Lair is located in a valley, so their fear of heights shouldn’t prove a factor. Of course, the valley is called The Valley of the Mountains of Shadow...

Flashgob: Any thoughts on the match?

Morgob: I was just getting to that. Whichever of the stars, Syku Lyku for Rejistania or the “Trio of Terror” for The Weegies, has a better match, their side should win out. If pressed to choose, Rejistania may have the slight advantage.

Flashgob: And the other match, Warnocks Wizards and Spaam?

Morgob: A toss up in my mind. The Fighting Meat Tins have been very elusive and mysterious in this Cup, so we could see anything from them. If Ishklash the Snooty can regain some of his world class form, he may prove the difference in the match. The familiarity of Mount Doom can’t hurt either. The head says toss up, but the heart will be pulling for the Red and White Wizards.

Flashgob: Well, that’s excellent. For my comrade in insults, Morgob, good night from Harmony Tonight. May all your tomes prove enlightening.

Semifinal results have now been sent out by telegram.

VICTORY ON MOUNT DOOM!!!

Red and White Wizards Advance to Cup of Harmony Final

Ishklash the Snooty Fires Wizards Past Spaam at Fortress Warnock

From our news services...

Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–The Warnocks Wizards national team made history last night, defeating the established footballing nation of Spaam and advancing to their first ever cup final. Ishklash the Snooty’s second half goal settled an entertaining match and sent the Wizards on to The Cup of Harmony final. The result set off celebrations around the nation which have not been seen since the ending of the Wars for The Ring.

Manager Ufwurz the Furious changed the side that drew with The Weegies in the final group match. Returning were all of the New Orthanc United players in the squad–Ishhak the Smasher in goal, Shagrukh the Strongclaw and Ghazukh the Burner in defense, Ghazghash the Sleazy in midfield, and Ishklash the Snooty in attack. Ghaztrak the Gouger returned at left back and target man Ashmazh the Tough won back his starting spot in favour of promising youngster Zagag the Sleak. There was also a mild surprise in midfield: aging veteran Krumsnak the Sneaky started again, as Ufwurz wanted his vast experience on the pitch. The Wizards lined up in their favoured 4-3-1-2 formation.

The Fighting Meat Tins of Spaam began the match well, covering the Wizards early possessions with their harrying and pressing style of play. The Tins nearly opened the scoring on 12 minutes, but Ishhak did well to tip a shot from Mela Sehelin around the post. The visitors nearly scored from the ensuing corner, but Valan Surion’s header was cleared off of the line by Ghaztrak. Krumsnak then began to settle his teammates down. To this point, the pressure seemed to be getting to them. Fin Nolatari and Armina Elendil were playing well in midfield, and the Wizards began to press them as well. This led to period of sloppy play on both sides. The Red and White Wizards only real chance of the half came on 36 minutes when Ashmazh’s shot off of an Akhklash the Emaciated cross was well held by Spaam keeper Elen Celebri. At the other end, Shagrukh the Strongclaw and Mausnik the Cleaver were dealing well with all the Meat Tins could throw at them. The first half ended at Warnocks Wizards 0, Spaam 0.

After an inspiring halftime performance by The Shagrat and Gorbag Uruk’Hai Folkdance Troupe (dedicated to the speedy recovery of Tranquillitis Football Federation President Markus Gustafsson), the Wizards retook the pitch for the second half. Uruk’Hai members of the crowd greeted the team with their infamous ethnic cheer: “Meat’s Back on the Menu.” The Red and White Wizards began the second half well, Manager Ufwurz the Furious’ halftime talk and changes were paying dividends. Bagdreg the Mauler and Ishklash each went close in the first ten minutes, but keeper Celebri was proving difficult to beat. The visiting Tins then nearly scored against the run of play when Tathar Elensar’s blast just sailed over, when it looked easier to score. This rattled the Wizards a little and ushered in a period of Spaam control. Fortunately, the Spaam attacks were going stale and couldn’t quite be digested by their frontline.

Seeing the aged octogenarian Krumsnak tiring in midfield, Ufwurz introduced the more attack-minded Gabdul the Looter. This substitution changed the battle in midfield and led to a period of Wizard prominence. In the end it was our man Ishklash the Snooty who slammed home the best chance of the night for the host side on 70 minutes. Bagdreg’s excellent pass provided an opening for Ghazghash the Sleazy. The Sleazy one slithered his way to an open shot from long range. The shot cannoned off of Spaam defender Fin Gothrond and fell to Ishklash. The Snooty one, apparently seeing passing it off to an open Ashmazh beneath him, struck the ball first time. The shot caught keeper Celebri unawares and sailed inside the far post for an historic goal. The Snooty one took off, celebrating Giant Eagle style, sending the adoring home crowd into raptures. Warnocks Wizards 1, Spaam 0.

The Red and White Wizards nearly doubled their lead straight away. Ghazghash stole the ball just after Spaam kicked off. He sent Bagdreg away who crossed it to Ashmazh. The target man suffered some tough luck when his header rattled the crossbar. Spaam keeper Celebri spread out and smothered the rebound like a lurking, smothering thing. The Spaamers, seeing their time running out, began to throw everything they had at the Red and White Wizards. Spaam attacker Sehelin pasted one that Ishhak reacted well to parry away. Ghazukh made a crucial tackling save preventing Saeros Meneldur from leveling. With the last ten minutes seemingly endless, the Red and White Wizards celebrated triumphantly at hearing the final whistle. Warnocks Wizards are going to the final of the Cup of Harmony! Warnocks Wizards 1, Spaam 0.

Warnocks Wizards: Ishhak the Smasher, Ghaztrak the Gouger, Mausnik the Cleaver, Shagrukh the Strongclaw (c), Ghazukh the Burner, Krumsnak the Sneaky (Gabdul the Looter 62), Bagdreg the Mauler, Akhklash the Emaciated (Ufdush the Nasty 80), Ghazghash the Sleazy, Ashmazh the Tough, Ishklash the Snooty.

Unused substitutes: Globtakh the Timid, Globdreg the Destroyer, Zagag the Sleak .

Warnocks Wizards face the winner of Rejistania-The Weegies in The Cup of Harmony final, to be played at Fortress Warnock.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

OOC: Shouts some Ila Iles-like words at, whoever invented Invalid_session!

IC:
http://www.geocities.com/versionizer/KaMaRiUpdate.gif.txt

1-2, Orange-Blues in the vinali tikira*
The game against te Weegies was a hard-fought game and only one error by Lanhi Ijanhi caused the game to end 1-2. Imdila'he commented this: "Everyone makes errors, ok, that one was costy, but it happens. Ijanhi'he was a good defender in the World-Cup-qualifiers and in the other matches he also exceeded expectations. There is no need for any consequences." Ijanhi'he himself didn't want to comment it.

The Weegies Trio of Trouble took the lead in the 43rd minute, after a first half, without much chances, since the attacks of both sides ended mostly in the opposites defense or in the midfield. In the second half, the Rejistanians started strong, but could not take advantage of it until the 57th minute, when Xeseja Su was fouled and the ref decided free kick for the Orange-Blues. Normally free kicks are always done by Su'he, wether he was the one, who was fouled or not, and the Weegies knew it. So no one seemed to notice Takil'he next to him. Su made a few steps forward, the Weegies thought, he shot, but then Takil'he shot over the Weegies defense and archieved the equaliser. In the 78th minute, the Weegies were just attacking as Ijanhi'he triped over his own feet. De Bruis'he shot over Ijanhi'he, who lied on the ground and archieved the lead for the Weegies. The score did not change in the last minutes, despite the eforts of the Orange-Blues to level out Takil'he's error.

Rejistania will play Spaam in the vinali tikira, after their loss against Warnocks Wizards. The Warnocks Wizards will meet the Weegies in the finals.

The result:
The Weegies 2 (Kincaid 43, De Bruis 78 )
Rejistania 1 (Takil 57)

Rejistanian top-scorers:
Syku Lyku: 3
Xeseja Su: 1
Laxtu Takil: 1

*OOC: since I did not know how to call the third place pl***** without getting banned by TnUI, I use the rejistanian expression.

EDIT: Typoes are slani!

OOC: Shouts some Ila Iles-like words at, whoever invented Invalid_session!

*OOC: since I did not know how to call the third place pl***** without getting banned by TnUI, I use the rejistanian expression.

OOC: Hehe. Couldn't agree more about "invalid session."

Pay no notice to other's criticising your use of "playoff" or "Round of 16." It's perfectly valid English and makes as much sense as the phrase they want you to use. The beauty of this sport is that, while it is so universal, one football term one country uses is just as good as a different term another country uses. BTW, I like the Rejistani phrase for the 3rd place match, it's quite lyrical.

The Cup of Harmony

Final Group Tables
[code:1:e12f1c680a]
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#34 Warnocks Wizards 3 2 1 0 8 4 +4 7
#50 The Weegies 3 1 2 0 4 3 +1 5
#62 Tranquillitis 3 1 1 1 4 3 +1 4
#57 The Dragonian Empire 3 0 0 3 1 7 -6 0

Group B P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#38 Rejistania 3 1 2 0 4 2 +2 5
#37 Spaam 3 1 1 1 5 4 +1 4
#74 Evisceratomatoes 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
#60 NASTIC 2 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 3
[/code:1:e12f1c680a]

The Cup of Harmony Semifinals
Rejistania 1 The Weegies 2
Warnocks Wizards 1 Spaam 0

Third Place Match/Vinali Tikira
#37 Spaam v. #38 Rejistania at The Lane

The Cup of Harmony Final
#34 Warnocks Wizards v. #50 The Weegies at Fortress Warnock

*OOC: since I did not know how to call the third place pl***** without getting banned by TnUI, I use the rejistanian expression.

OOC:
1. It's a joke.
2. playoff isn't banned, it was playoffs, which isn't English, its an Americanism. So is Round of 16.

OOC: I have understood what you ment, the 'vinali tikira' was a joke in reply.

The result of the Third Place Match has now been sent out by telegram.

http://www.geocities.com/versionizer/KaMaRiUpdate.gif.txt

(Big image of Syku Lyku scoring the golden goal)

Orange-Blues win vinali tikira
Rejistania has won against Spaam in the extra time. None of the team was avaible for comment, since evveryone was celebrating the victory.

The game didn't start good for the Rejistanians. One spaamian player archieved the lead in the 19th minute, but it was not possible to find out who, since the Spaamians don't have the numbers on their kits and look all very alike. The Junis'Omeh kept on defending, and waited for chances for their well-known and feared counters. In the 30th minute, it was again Xeseja Su to equalise the score after an error in the Spaamian defense. The Spaamains know him very well, after his far-distance-goal against them. The game became harder but despite of this it remained fair. In the 44rd minute, Xkeliko Susu and Xeseja Su outsmarted some spaamian defenders and Susu archieved the lead. The score was 2-1 for the Orange-Blues. The stadium speaker seemed to prefer not to pronounce 'Xkeliko' and simply said that it was Susu who scored.

The second half started as the first has ended: hard but despite of this very fair. The Spaamians weere most of the time the ones, who attacked, but the Rejistanians answered with fast, but unfortunatly not successful counters. In the 57th minute, a spaamian defender got the ball after a misled cross from Lyku'he, quickly shot the ball to the forwards and - the score was 2-2. The score didn't change anymore in the second half, despite countless effort from both sides. In the extra time, you could easily see, that both teams started to get tired, but fortunatly, Coach Imdila'he had subtituted very late, so Ila Iles, Hana Yla and Vel Kansu did most to keep the score even. In the 103rd minute, the Orange-Blues started again a counter, but after countless efforts, it was successful, Syku Lyku archieved the golden goal and Rejistania won the vinali tikira!

The result after extra time:
Spaam 2 (19th, 57th)
Rejistania 3 (Su 30th, Susu 43rd, Lyku 103rd)

Rejistanian top scoreres:
Syku Lyku: 4
Xeseja Su: 2
Xkeliko Susu: 1
Laxtu Takil: 1

*** Press Release ***
Ready for Immediate Distribution

New Orthanc, Warnocks Wizards--Minister for Sport Ufhur the Hated has today sensationally acknowledged that the rumours are true--in addition to signing up for their fourth World Cup competition, Warnocks Wizards will be putting in a bid to host World Cup 11 with the nation known as Total-n-Utter Insanity. An official announcement will be made during halftime of the upcoming Cup of Harmony Final where the host, Warnocks Wizards, will face The Weegies for the title.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Harmony Tonight

From a recent palantiri broadcast...

After a flash introduction featuring highlights from matches at The Cup of Harmony overlaid with inspiring music from virtuoso composer Vorros the Wise, the images dissolve to reveal a flamboyant wizard wearing a purple satin robe and a rather unconvincing red toupee. Sitting next to him is a disheveled, elderly wizard. Arranged in front of the hosts are an orange, a tin of reprocessed meat, a ouija board, and a small Arch-Mage Rahzlok the Alligator stuffed animal.

Flashgob the Bombast: Welcome to Harmony Tonight where we will review the latest events at The Cup of Harmony and look ahead to the cup final. Joining me tonight is my cohort in age but not wisdom, Morgob the Pedant.

Morgob the Pedant: Thank you, you pop-eyed balding git. How’s the new carpet cleaner working?

Flashgob the Bombast: Morgob, let’s stay on message. Today is the Cup of Harmony Final where the Red and White Wizards of our most benevolent Empire face former group foes The Weegies. Before we talk about that exciting rematch, let’s look at how the two sides got here. The semifinals. First, The Weegies pulled off a mild upset in defeating the impressive new footballing nation of Rejistania, 2-1 at Shelobs Lair.

Morgob the Pedant: Yes, indeed. It was The Weegies who wove their web in the spider dome. Kincaid opened the scoring just before the half, and the Orange and Blues were always going to struggle having to break down a well organised Weegie team.

Flashgob the Bombast: That said, didn’t Takil'he take his side’s chance well with that excellent free kick?

Morgob the Pedant: He did. Perhaps it was a little unfortunate to then see such a vital match settled by a defensive error. But so often that is the case in these pressure situations. Lanhi Ijanhi’s fall allowed Peter De Bruis a free chance on goal. All credit to the Weegie, he buried it. 2-1 and The Weegies advance to the final.

Flashgob the Bombast: From what I’ve seen, De Bruis may be the most dangerous of The Weegies “Trio of Terror.”

Morgob the Pedant: I would tend to agree. He has a terrific all around game. Though it must be said, Jamie Smith is a deadly finisher. He can certainly turn a match as well.

Flashgob the Bombast: As for the Wizards...an excellent Ishklash the Snooty strike was the difference as the National Team earned a hard fought 1-0 victory over an experienced Spaam side.

Morgob the Pedant: Most neutrals would have thought this would have been the Cup final. Given Spaam’s experience and the Wizards excellent World Cup 9 campaign and home field advantage. It was nice to see the Snooty one rise to the occasion on the big stage. His strike was very well taken.

Flashgob the Bombast: Before we get to the final, any thoughts on the Third Place Match? Rejistania won with a golden goal, defeating the Fighting Meat Tins 3-2 after extra time.

Morgob the Pedant: An exciting match at The Lane. Spaam took the initial lead. The Rejistanis replied with two goals of their own. Spaam fought back and leveled it. In the end it was star striker Syku Lyku who settled the match with a clinical finish on the counter.


Flashgob the Bombast: I’ve always maintained he is a first rate chef.

Morgob the Pedant: What?

Flashgob the Bombast: Now on to the Final...A rematch of two sides that played in an entertaining 3-3 draw earlier in the competition. Any predictions?

Morgob the Pedant: The Wizards had problems dealing with Kincaid, De Bruis, and Smith. Although, let’s not forget, it was against a Wizards “B” side, if you will.

Flashgob the Bombast: Would that be a 33 or a 45?

Morgob the Pedant: You are a nutter. With the Wizards fielding their best 11, I think we will have a different match.

Flashgob the Bombast: Barring a repeat of the deja vu that is haunting Shelobs Obsession in the Giant Evil Spider Football League, won’t this be a different match by definition?

Morgob the Pedant: I think Manager Ufwurz has an interesting decision to make in the centre of midfield. Does he go with experience in the zimmer-framed Krumsnak the Sneaky, does he go with action man Gromdul the Gasher, or does he go with youthful exuberance in Bublok the Destroyer? Let’s hope they can nullify De Bruis. Also, let’s hope the Snooty one is on form. I’m looking forward to seeing one of his Giant Eagle celebrations again.

Flashgob the Bombast: At any rate, good luck to the Red and White Wizaaaaaaards. Let’s keep the Cup of Harmony in the Empire. May all your tomes prove enlightening.

Tanah Burung has kindly generated the result of the Cup Final, which has now been sent out by telegram. A match report of the final will appear here shortly.

VICTORY!!!
Red and White Wizards Win Cup of Harmony
National Team Defeats Weegies 2-0 at Mount Doom to Earn First Championship

From our news services...

Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–What a night! Amidst an historic announcement that Warnocks Wizards will be putting in a co-host bid for World Cup 11 (see related story below), the National Team made history themselves, winning the prestigious Cup of Harmony before an elated crowd at Fortress Warnock. The Red and White Wizards dominated the Cup final against a good Weegies side and ran out worthy 2-0 winners. First half strikes from Ghazghash the Sleazy and Ishklash the Snooty settled the match early on and led to a night of partying and celebration throughout the Empire.

Going with speed and attacking flair, Manager Ufwurz the Furious made three changes to the side that defeated Spaam in the semifinals. Speedy right back Ufdush the Nasty replaced tough defender Mausnik the Cleaver. Versatile defender Ghazukh the Burner then switched to centre back. Zagag the Sleak won a starting spot up front over target man Ashmazh the Tough. The largest surprise was that Ufwurz dispensed with tradition and did not start with a defensive midfielder. Gabdul the Looter started in the hole behind the strikers, aged defensive midfielder Krumsnak the Sneaky was dropped completely from the squad, and atttack-minded Ghazghash the Sleazy slotted into central midfield. Given these changes, it was obvious the Furious one was going to go all out for victory and attack The Weegies at every opportunity.

After a stirring rendition of the national anthems by Vorros the Wise, the match was underway. The raucous crowd did not have long to wait to cheer. Zagag the Sleak nearly opened the scoring in the first minute of play. His hard shot off of a Gabdul the Looter feed was well saved and held on to by Weegie goalkeeper Tommy Devopoulos. The visitors then had a shout at goal a few minutes later, but striker Andy Quattro blazed one over the bar. Ghazghash the Sleazy then replied with a stunning goal on eight minutes to give the rambunctious masses a moment of glory. Bagdreg the Mauler’s diagonal ball released Akhklash the Emaciated down the right side. Approaching the corner flag, the Emaciated one sent a looping cross back to the semicircle at the top of the box. Ghazghash volleyed the cross first time and smashed the ball towards goal. Devopoulos had no chance as the ball rocketed into the side netting, just inside the far post. The Sleazy one ran off in celebration and the home crowd roared with joy. Warnocks Wizards 1, The Weegies 0.

The visitors were clearly rattled and the Red and White Wizards pressed their advantage. After three successive corners were successfully dealt with, the home side doubled the lead on 16 minutes. Ghazukh the Burner stole the ball from Peter De Bruis in midfield and passed it off to Ghazghash. The Sleazy one chipped the ball over the defense, releasing Zagag the Sleak. With the last defender Kevin McDonald viciously bringing down the Sleak one with a chance at goal, the referee correctly played the advantage as Zagag, before he was brought down, coolly laid off a cross field ball to the onrushing Ishklash the Snooty. The Snooty one nutmegged keeper Devopoulos and walked the ball in to the net for a 2-0 lead, setting off ecstatic celebrations around Fortress Warnock and the Empire. The referee awarded McDonald a red card, and The Weegies were really up against it. This ushered in a celebratory period where the Red and White Wizards kept possession of the ball, as every pass was greeted with a cheer of “Opa!” from the enchanted multitude of Wizardites in attendance. The score at half time was: Warnocks Wizards 2, The Weegies 0.

After a stirring halftime show including a reprise of Wizards Without Hats performing “The Harmony Dance” and a Cup of Harmony closing speech by Minister for Sport Ufhur the Hated which included an important announcement (see related story below), the teams took to the pitch for the second half. The Red and White Wizards were content to sit on their two goal lead, and while they enjoyed large periods of possession, did not really threaten the Weegie goal. Zagag had the only real chance of the half, but he missed a sitter from eight yards. The 10-men visitors gamely tried to find a way back into the match, and were it not for fine play once again from Ghazukh the Burner and Shagrukh the Strongclaw in defense, and Ishhak the Smasher in goal, they may have made things interesting. Jamie Smith was stripped of the ball by the Burner, denying him a clear shot on goal. Shagrukh likewise prevented Fred Kincaid from scoring on a corner, the Warnocks Wizards captain just challenging the Weegie enough to force him to head over. Ishhak the Smasher made a fine save on a Peter De Bruis free kick, diving down to his left to preserve the clean sheet. With the last of The Weegies efforts thwarted, the referee called for full time, setting off wild celebrations both inside Fortress Warnock and throughout the Empire of Warnocks Wizards as a whole. The Red and White Wizards had won the Cup of Harmony!

Warnocks Wizards: Ishhak the Smasher, Ghaztrak the Gouger, Shagrukh the Strongclaw (c), Ghazukh the Burner, Ufdush the Nasty, Ghazghash the Sleazy, Bagdreg the Mauler, Akhklash the Emaciated (Bublok the Destroyer 70), Gabdul the Looter, Zagag the Sleak (Ashmazh the Tough 67), Ishklash the Snooty.

Unused substitutes: Globtakh the Timid, Mausnik the Cleaver, Globdreg the Destroyer.

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

Ufhur the Hated Proclaims Cup of Harmony a Success

Minister for Sport also Announces Plans to Bid for the World Cup

From our news services...

Mount Doom, Warnocks Wizards–During halftime festivities at the Cup of Harmony Final, Warnocks Wizards Minister for Sport Ufhur the Hated addressed the rocking Wizardite crowd to reflect on the Harmonious tournament and to make a special announcement. Here is his speech in its entirety:

“Friends, fans, visitors, fighting fruit, acronym advocates, orange-blue folk, reprocessed meat tins, dragons, kilt aficionados, tranquil moose, and citizens of the Empire of Warnocks Wizards, welcome to the Cup of Harmony Final. Over the past few weeks we have witnessed some entertaining football, made some new friends, and averted a few minor scandals. We have seen the fledglings of The Dragonian Empire soar, watched the Fighting Acronyms spell cryptic names, viewed Eviscerated Tomatoes ripening on the vine, observed the Moose football federation president being tranquilised, noticed the Fighting Meat Tins spreading their elusive style, beheld the Orange and Blues trying to deal with their fear of heights, finally discovered that The Weegies derive from a distant land where the haggis reigns supreme, and announced to the NS world that those Red and White Wizards really can play football. (At this point the minister’s words were drowned out by a din of applause and cheer.)

...and we hope he gets well soon. At this point, we’d like to express our gratitude to all the participating nations involved in this tournament. The tournament would not have been the same without each and every one of you. Furthermore, a special thank you goes to Tanah Burung for their work behind the scenes. And, naturally we appreciate all of you who have attended the matches, supported your teams, and made all of this possible. The truth is, no matter which nation takes home the cup this evening, we are all winners of the Cup of Harmony.

We have mentioned it on other occasions, but it is worth reiterating here. It is our dream, our quest to bring peacefully together the nations of this extraordinary universe in sport. To that end, we have a special announcement to make. The Empire of Warnocks Wizards officially proclaims its intention to form a joint bid with our friends Total n Utter Insanity to host World Cup 11. The government has given its full support to the bid, which on our end will be co-chaired by myself and billionaire giant spider Shelob-VIII-Legs. This lovely national cathedral of football, Fortress Warnock, will be expanded to allow even more spectators to experience the marvel of the beautiful game. Ms. Shelob has also pledged that Shelobs Lair will be improved to give this Empire two unique international football treasures. More details about the joint World Cup bid will be released in due time.

In the interim, we wish all of our Cup of Harmony friends good luck in qualifying for World Cup 10. May we all meet again on the fields of Giant Zucchini and One Red Dot.”

With that, Minister Ufhur waved to the crowd, and departed the centre circle. He smiled to himself as he exited, and we all must wonder: Today, the Cup of Harmony. Tomorrow, the World Cup?

Bazgash the Sly, reporting for WW1

The Cup of Harmony Final Results

Matchday One
Rejistania 1 Evisceratomatoes 1
Spaam 1 NASTIC 2
The Weegies 0 Tranquillitis 0
Warnocks Wizards 3 The Dragonian Empire 0

Matchday Two
Rejistania 2 NASTIC 0
Spaam 3 Evisceratomatoes 1
The Weegies 1 The Dragonian Empire 0
Warnocks Wizards 2 Tranquillitis 1

Matchday Three
NASTIC 1 Evisceratomatoes 3
Spaam 1 Rejistania 1
The Dragonian Empire 1 Tranquillitis 3
Warnocks Wizards 3 The Weegies 3

Group Tables
[code:1:d52f0e3ed5]
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#34 Warnocks Wizards 3 2 1 0 8 4 +4 7
#50 The Weegies 3 1 2 0 4 3 +1 5
#62 Tranquillitis 3 1 1 1 4 3 +1 4
#57 The Dragonian Empire 3 0 0 3 1 7 -6 0

Group B P W D L GF GA GD Pts
#38 Rejistania 3 1 2 0 4 2 +2 5
#37 Spaam 3 1 1 1 5 4 +1 4
#74 Evisceratomatoes 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
#60 NASTIC 2 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 3
[/code:1:d52f0e3ed5]

The Cup of Harmony Semifinals
Rejistania 1 The Weegies 2
Warnocks Wizards 1 Spaam 0

Third Place Match/Vinali Tikira
Spaam 2 Rejistania 3 (AET)

The Cup of Harmony Final
Warnocks Wizards 2 The Weegies 0

http://home.c2i.net/monsalvat/grailsml.jpg
The Cup of Harmony

Tournament Winners:
Warnocks Wizards (Cup of Harmony)
Total n Utter Insanity (Frosty Cup)

From the Desk of Sir Markus Gustafsson

<Desk is scratched out, and Hospital Bed is written underneath>

To all footballing nations:

As I'm sure you have all heard, the nation of Tranquillitis has been unjustly disbarred from future World Cup competitions, something which saddens and angers me greatly. We were not even told a reason for this horrific display of unfairness, but I suspect that the football powers that be were extremely afraid of what our Moose could do to their respective football squads should we have ever met them on the pitch.

The nation of Tranquillitis fears not, however, as my brilliant mind has developed a plan to bring football back to Tranquillitis once again.

Our recent participation in the Cup of Harmony, however marred in controversy and assassination attempts, has been, admittedly for the players, a successful occasions, and has brought many more fans to the game, desiring for international competition in the country once more. I say "Why should nations who have not qualified get to host the cup?" Why not make The Empire of Tranquillitis, renowned for its Nordic beauty and natural splendor, the site for future such events. Great teams that were just short of qualification (perhaps due to some scheming) would have the privledge and honour of visiting and playing in Tranquillitis, and to the winners would come great reward.

We ask the football nations of the world to consider my idea, brilliant as it is, and realize the sense of it all.

Sincerely,
Sir Markus Gustafsson
President, Tranquillitis Fotboll Forbundet

To: The Football World

From: Ufhur the Hated, Minister for Sport, Empire of Warnocks Wizards

This short missive is to provide our support for Tranquillitis as the future home of the Cup of Harmony. We can think of no better host than that beautiful, tranquil Nordic nation for future editions of the invitational tournament. We hereby give our support to our friend Sir Markus Gustafsson in bringing this marvelous idea of his a reality. To this end, Warnocks Wizards also offers to Sir Markus any administrative or organizational support that he may require in hosting the Cup in the future. Peace through football,

Ufhur the Hated

ooc: Huh? Tranquillitis banned? Was i skimming too fast?

A message from Tanah Burung sports supremo, Mau Kiri Rai, relayed through the Evisceratomatoes team still hanging about in WW: "The great land of Tranquillitis has our full support for its bid. And we commend Warnocks Wizards for their wonderful hosting job. Here in our country, Ufhur the Hated shall be known as Ufhur the Enchanting."

Nate-Hurr E. Visser added: "We'd love to come back, my little weegies and wizards, but you'll forgive us if our true dream is to play in the Land of our Forebears, Giant Zucchini."

OOC: Not technically banned, he took out all puppets (even though the Moose have nothing to do with Nikea), and then I didn't bother to reread the signup thread like 99% of people and didn't see that puppets were suddenly allowed back in.

Up the Red and White Wizards!

(Bump for preservation)