12-11-2003, 22:44
Okay, I got an issue entilted: Ever-Widening Butts Cause Movie Theater Havoc!
Here's the description, and options...
Several festively chubby people were lodged in their movie theater seats for hours, as Your Nickname's Fire Department worked to free them. Health organizations in are now expressing concern over the problem of obesity in Your Nickname.
"Clearly, we have to do something about the expanding obesity problem in Your Nickname, er, no pun intended," remarks Colin Dredd of the National Health Bureau. "The government should implement an extensive exercise management program and make it mandatory that all Your Nickname citizens participate in some kind of exercise at least once a week."
"Mandatory exercise! Get out! I don't have the time!" snorts nationally renowned TV chef Melbourne Longbottom. "How about banning those greasy fast food joints and drive-thrus? I mean, seriously - if you can't get out of your stupid car to walk in and get a meal, how sad is that? Ban fast food, and make junk food more expensive - that way, people will have to think about whether or not they want to spend ten [Unknown: currency]s on a snack cake."
"I don't see why it's anyone's business but my own how I kill myself," said Colin Wu, a pleasantly plump computer programmer, stuffing a chili dog down his throat. "My weight is my own business, and if I don't feel like exercising, that's my choice. Sure, it'd be healthier to lose a few pounds, but my priorities lie elsewhere. Leave us alone, and we, the citizens of Your Nickname, will decide what's important to us and what we want to eat."
"What about government-funded liposuction?" asked a hopeful Freddy Jong-Il, stuffing two chili dogs down his throat at once. "If I could get the fat sucked off of these hips, that would give me the willpower to stay thin. Obesity would be a thing of the past! Just think of it! Nothing but svelte, beautiful people everywhere! Ah, bliss!"
I chose the second one, outlawing Fast Food... I can see it now...
"Welcome to McDonald's Black Market!"
"I'd like a Number 1 please!"
Police: "Freeze, this was a Fast Food set up! You're under arrest for trying to buy food while still in your vehicle! It's about time we cracked down on scum like you!"
Here's the description, and options...
Several festively chubby people were lodged in their movie theater seats for hours, as Your Nickname's Fire Department worked to free them. Health organizations in are now expressing concern over the problem of obesity in Your Nickname.
"Clearly, we have to do something about the expanding obesity problem in Your Nickname, er, no pun intended," remarks Colin Dredd of the National Health Bureau. "The government should implement an extensive exercise management program and make it mandatory that all Your Nickname citizens participate in some kind of exercise at least once a week."
"Mandatory exercise! Get out! I don't have the time!" snorts nationally renowned TV chef Melbourne Longbottom. "How about banning those greasy fast food joints and drive-thrus? I mean, seriously - if you can't get out of your stupid car to walk in and get a meal, how sad is that? Ban fast food, and make junk food more expensive - that way, people will have to think about whether or not they want to spend ten [Unknown: currency]s on a snack cake."
"I don't see why it's anyone's business but my own how I kill myself," said Colin Wu, a pleasantly plump computer programmer, stuffing a chili dog down his throat. "My weight is my own business, and if I don't feel like exercising, that's my choice. Sure, it'd be healthier to lose a few pounds, but my priorities lie elsewhere. Leave us alone, and we, the citizens of Your Nickname, will decide what's important to us and what we want to eat."
"What about government-funded liposuction?" asked a hopeful Freddy Jong-Il, stuffing two chili dogs down his throat at once. "If I could get the fat sucked off of these hips, that would give me the willpower to stay thin. Obesity would be a thing of the past! Just think of it! Nothing but svelte, beautiful people everywhere! Ah, bliss!"
I chose the second one, outlawing Fast Food... I can see it now...
"Welcome to McDonald's Black Market!"
"I'd like a Number 1 please!"
Police: "Freeze, this was a Fast Food set up! You're under arrest for trying to buy food while still in your vehicle! It's about time we cracked down on scum like you!"