NationStates Jolt Archive

Announcer: "And coming up next, the newest FOX News Channel show!
The show NEWSWEEK calls 'Just as good as the rest of FOX's shows...' whatever that means. And the Wall Street Journal raves 'I would have rather seen a marathon of Dharma and Greg then ever watch this again!' The hit show, 'People with non-Biased, Fair and Balanced, No Spin Views! (Yeah sure...)"


Woman Anchor: "Hello, I'm Cindy Applegate on People with non-Biased, Fair and Balanced, No Spin Views! (Yeah Sure....)"

Man Anchor: "Yes, and I'm Nathan Crippling. Good Morning Nation States!"

Supposedly Audience, but suspiciously sounding like robots: "Good morning! We love this show!"

Cindy: *Sips Pink Bunny Cola* "Well, getting down to news. The evil horrible satanic evil CACE continues their war against those poor innocent SATO/WBO people, who are just poor victims in an evil communist plot to destroy good honest businesses!"

Nathan: "Yes indeed... We now need to go to Commercial!"

~Commercial~

Crimmond Missile Technologics! Sole producers of the valued Swarm Missile systems, used by every type of unit from individual soldiers to the largest of battleships! We've been the ones making the missiles bombing your neighborhoods for several dozen years!

http://home.earthlink.net/~alpha_zero_usm/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/missile1.jpg

Contact the nation of Crimmond for more Information!

~End Commercial~

Nathan: "Welcome back. Now for the news headlines..."

Cindy: "Well, lets see here... Some Corporate run nations, rightfully, and justly attacked more of those evil weak communistic bastardly countries. Much of the commies were weaker then the Corporate Puppet regimes too... How cunning of the corporations to pick on the little guy, wouldn't you say Nathan?"

Nathan: *Sips Pink Bunny Cola* "I do indeed Cindy!"

Cindy: "That's about it for headlines... Except for some Socialist Victories on something, but we're keeping that quiet, because that's what we're paid to do."

Nathan: "We are indeed Cindy... Now, for another Commercial Break!"

~Commercial~

Logan Tech!

"We make the things you use, better" except for of course that one incident... But that's another motto!

Logan Tech makes Defense Systems, Weapons, and Home Appliances, and on a rare occasion, a strange combination of the three, which ends up in one heck of a lawsuit!

http://ice.ucdavis.edu/logos/iceblur.gif

Contact Nation Brydog for more Information!

~End Commercial~

Cindy: *Sips Pink Bunny Cola* "This stuff tastes horri... ugh, wonderful!Well, that's all the time we have for today. Remember that the FOX Network is not responsible for what our Sponsors say! I'd also like to remind our viewers to tune into the other biased, right wing, corrupted, propaganda we call TV shows, here on the FOX News Channel. Oh, and new Episode of Simpsons tonight on your Local FOX affiliate!"


~~

This has been a 20th Century FOX Production!

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/20th_century_fox.jpg

This has been a FOX News Channel Broadcast!

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:wIW5VIOJAyoC:www.investmentcruise.com/investmentcruise/ForbesAlaska/Images/Fox-News-logo.gif

OOC: LOL. Delightful This investement is definitly worth it.

IC:
*Pink Bunny Cola Inc wires loads of money*

Very nice, keep up the quality programming!

OOC: BUMP!

"I see. Not a word on my attaining Detente with some of the communists?"

~Prince Alexander Black

Announcer: "Coming up next, a special Evening addition of FOX's hit show: People with non-Biased, Fair and Balanced, No Spin Views (Yeah Sure...)!"

Cindy: "Hello, and good evening. Welcome to a special evening addition of FOX's hit show, People with non-Biased, Fair and Balanced, No Spin Views (Yeah Sure...)!. I'm Cindy Applegate!

Nathan: "And I'm Nathan Crippling! Good Evening Nation States!"

No sound...

Nathan Whispers: "Did to 'We love you' Robot break?"

Technician: "Yeah, we couldn't program in the 'Good Evening' part. It only will say 'Good Morning'."

Nathan: "Anyway! Apparently, we didn't sell tickets to this show, so no audience today.. Ehehe..." *Sips Bunny Cola*

Cindy: "Well, onto our first Commercial Break!"

~Commercial~

Disaster Relief Incorporated!

*Sexy Blonde stand in front of a monitor showing run down and poverty stricken areas of the world*
Sexy Blonde: "DRI provides a revolutionary new global disaster relief service at low cost, with an effective high-readiness emergency response capability employing the full assets of the PrattCo Conglomerate. But lets turn the mic over to DRI's CEO, Dol James!"

*Dols James sits at his desk, and smiles*
Dol James: Think of this as a cross between the Red Cross and national-level disaster insurance."

*Back to the Sexy Blonde*
Sexy Blonde: "And DRI never asks for anything in return, after rebuilding you communistic defective economies, which pock mark the world like acne. So, if you're one of those defective idealistic Socialists, and need help rebuilding your country after a smarter and better Capitalist steam rolled over your country, DRI is for you!"

http://www.angelfire.com/ex/a51/images/DRIsmall.jpg
Disaster Relief Inc - Keeping your nation safe! (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=83705)
(A PrattCo Conglomerate Division)

Contact the nation of Santa Barbara for more Information...

~End Commercial~

Nathan: "Welcome back!"

Cindy: "Hehe, the way you said that reminded me of that show!"

Nathan: "Ugh, what show?"

Cindy: "You know, that show!"

Nathan: "Right... Twit..."

Cindy: "What!?"

Nathan: "Nothing! Now for headlines!"

Cindy: "You said something..."

Nathan: "Now for Headlines..."

Cindy: "Hmph...Now for the Headlines: EOTED withdrew itself from SATO, whatever EOTED is, they're obviously ignorant fools, who don't want to ally themselves with those poor poor SATO members, who were so wrongfully forced into war with that evil CACE alliance... Belem's Emperor died, his son Vito will succeed the Emperor, who graciously ruled his country for 40-some years... Knootoss set up a colony especially for Christians...."

Nathan: "Bah, segragationistic, evil, satanic..."

Cindy: "Ehem!" *Cindy Elbows Nathan*

Nathan: "Oh, they sponsor us... Ugh... Wonderful idealism there, then the Christians can live on their own, without other Religious interference... Eheheh..."

Cindy: "And that's about it for headlines... Now for a Commercial!"

~Commercial~

*Five Pink Cartoon Bunnies hop onto screen*

Pink Bunnies Sing:
"Pink Bunny Cola!
It's so Delicious-ola!
We love Pink Bunny Cola! Hurrah!"

*The Five Bunnies start dancing and hopping about the screen*

Bunnies Sing:
"Drink Pink Bunny Cola!
It's not really good for-ya!
But you'll sure love it, and not just cause it...
Has 90% Addictive Ingredients!
So Hop to the store! And buy yourself a score!
Of... PINK BUNNY COLA!"

Narrator: "Pink Bunny Cola, if you Drink, you'll just want to 'Hop' to the store for more!"

http://www.matrix1337.com/images/pinkbunnycola.jpg

Contact the Nation of Knootoss for more information!

Disclaimer: This Commercial, and link in this Commercial are property of Knootoss' Pink Bunny Cola Inc. In no way is the FOX corporation responsible for link, or any material within this Commercial!

~End Commercial~

Nathan: "And Welcom..."

Cindy: "Oh! That's it! Welcome Back Conner!"

Nathan: "What...?"

Cindy: "The show, you know, I couldn't remember the name of it a moment ago, and the way you say 'Welcome Back' reminded me of it! Remember?"

Nathan: "Right... Well, we now Publicly Appologize to the nation of Roania for not mentioning their Royal linage event, or whatever..."

Cindy: "Well now... That's about all the time we have for today. Remember that the FOX Network is not responsible for what our Sponsors say! I'd also like to remind our viewers to tune into the other biased, right wing, corrupted, propaganda we call TV shows, here on the FOX News Channel. Good Night everybody!"

Supposedly Audience, but suspiciously sounding like robots: "Good Morning, we love you!"

Nathan: "I'm calling my agent..."

~~

This has been a 20th Century FOX production!

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/20th_century_fox.jpg

This has been a Broadcast of the FOX News Channel!

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:wIW5VIOJAyoC:www.investmentcruise.com/investmentcruise/ForbesAlaska/Images/Fox-News-logo.gif

"Say something nice about our medical products, or we add you to Disney and Paramount Pictures in our subsidary list."

~Communique from CEO Karolyn Von Klyne to whoever is the CEO of Fox Studios.

Message sent to CEO of Roanian Pharmaceuticals, via FOX Network's Computerized Phone messaging system.

"Please see our add for Sponsors, located here: http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=91665
Thank you for considering FOX Network for your adds. We hope to have you for our sponsor in the future."

20th, did you recive my telegram about that picture you used and the link that is supposed to be there? :? I sent it a few days ago.

20th, did you recive my telegram about that picture you used and the link that is supposed to be there? :? I sent it a few days ago.

Yeah, I got it. Next time I run a commercial for you, I'll make sure the Picture is a link.

Hey, pretty clever stuff :) Keep it up ^_^

OOC: as I sead in the other thread. Great stuff! Great stuff! Keep it up! :mrgreen:

*loves this FOX, as opposed to the RL one*

Announcer: Coming up next, People with Non-Baised, Fair and Balanced, No Spin Views (Yeah Sure...)... Again...

Nathan: "Hello, this is Nathan Crippling, for People with Non-Baised, Fair and Balanced, No Spin Views (Yeah Sure...)! Cindy has the day off, thank God! I mean, her poor mother needed her, we all anxiously await her return..."

Actually an Audience for once, but only like 2 or three voices from it yell: "Good Morning! We love you!"

Nathan: "Anyway, lets go to first commercial! I'm so happy today! I hope Cindy gets his by a car, and never returns... Wait, we haven't gone to a Commercial yet? You idiot! Go to Commercial... Yes now!" *Drinks Pink Bunny Cola... Spits it out* "Gah, where's my Coffee, this stuff tastes like Car Oil!"

~Commercial~

FOX would like to present, the fabulous Tourist Destination of the Year!
http://www.i-nets.com/t/image/serenity.jpg
http://www.londoh.com/images/gdsate.jpg
http://content.onlineagency.com/sites/179/images/LaJollaMismaloya_ext.jpg
http://europeforvisitors.com/europe/images/cph_royal_library.jpg

Pictures from the beautiful Tropical nation The Oppressive Church (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=425339), where a tropical paradise meets a ruthless oppressive Church regime.

Visit The Oppressive Church (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=425339) today, and we wont try to convert you, this week anyway...

~End Commercial~

Nathan: "Why... Oh why!?" *Nathan is wheeping*

Cindy: "What's wrong Nathy? I think Nathy is so happy that I came back to work today that he is actually brought to tears... I feel so touched. Don't worry Nathy, I'll work with you forever!"

Nathan: "NOOOOO!" *Nathan falls out of his chair and tries to scramble for the edge of the screen*

Cindy: "Weird... Maybe he had to go to the bathroom, to much Pink Bunny Cola!" *Sips Pink Bunny Cola* "Anyway, time for headlines! Kecha arrested Catholic Citizens, Raysia left the UN, Korhend Executed 5,000 Elves, 20th Century FOX launches new Interactive Debate Show The FOX Factor (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=93047), FOX also launched a new channel the FOX Sports Channel, EOTED condemned their former ally SATO for 'Lack of Ideological Flexibility' and Belem is cracking down on Homosexuals! All so very interesting... Then again, I just ate four antidepressants, and lost all feeling in my fingers, so I really wouldn't know! Heheheh!" *Sips Pink Bunny Cola* "This stuff is addictive... Wait, what does it say here? Do Not Consume if Pregnant, Operating Heavy Machinery, Taking Prescription medication, or if Really Obease! Hmmm, I think I violated one of those! Oh well, can't have too bad a consequence right?"

Audience sits in silence.

Cindy: "Right... Ehehe... Eheheh..." *Cindy falls forward out of her chair unconcious*

~EMERGENCY OFF AIR SIGNAL!~

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/20th_century_fox.jpg
FOX is sorry for the inconvenience. Our show has either Gone off the air, been attacked by terrorists, been attacked by a nation, or our hosts are all incapacitated or otherwise unable to continue the broadcast. We apologize for any problems this may have caused. We will return you to your regularly scheduled program shortly, but first, view these wonderful commercials from our sponsors! Again, FOX apologizes!

~Commercial~

*Five Pink Cartoon Bunnies hop onto screen*

Pink Bunnies Sing:
"Pink Bunny Cola!
It's so Delicious-ola!
We love Pink Bunny Cola! Hurrah!"

*The Five Bunnies start dancing and hopping about the screen*

Bunnies Sing:
"Drink Pink Bunny Cola!
It's not really good for-ya!
But you'll sure love it, and not just cause it...
Has 90% Addictive Ingredients!
So Hop to the store! And buy yourself a score!
Of... PINK BUNNY COLA!"

Narrator: "Pink Bunny Cola, if you Drink it, you'll just want to 'Hop' to the store for more!"

http://www.matrix1337.com/images/pinkbunnycola.jpg

Contact the Nation of Knootoss for more information!

Disclaimer: This Commercial, and link in this Commercial are property of Knootoss' Pink Bunny Cola Inc. In no way is the FOX corporation responsible for link, or any material within this Commercial! Or if any FOX Host drops unconscious from our products!

~End Commercial~
~Commercial~

Sliponia Steel Company, the one Corporation FOX can't think of something funny to say about!

http://www.digitalstar.com/slip/images/176973.JPG
Sliponia Steel Company - For When You Need To Get It Done.

~End Commercial~

Camera shows a shadowy Figure sitting behind a desk.
Shadowy Figure in a muffled voice: "This is a message from the 20th Century FOX Corporation. We are unable to wake up Cindy Applegate, and have lost track of Nathan Crippling after he ran across the street screaming. Due to these events the show People with Non-Baised, Fair and Balanced, No Spin Views (Yeah Sure...) will not continue today. We thank you, the viewers for your patience, and hope you will tune into FOX for all your Propaganda. Thank you, and have a nice day."

~~
This has been a 20th Century FOX production
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/20th_century_fox.jpg

This has been a FOX News Channel Broadcast
http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:wIW5VIOJAyoC:www.investmentcruise.com/investmentcruise/ForbesAlaska/Images/Fox-News-logo.gif

OOC: :lol: "Sliponia Steel Company, the one Corporation FOX can't think of something funny to say about!" I love it!

Got Futurama? Why did you have to kill off that great show? Also, the replacement for Fox Kids, Fox Box, is terrible.

Is 20th Century FOX going to do another broadcast?

They seem to have vanished as of late.

*wants more*

Awwww...I'll miss Foxes quality programming...

Looks at the product he was eventually going to market "Happy Fun chocolate covered Suicide pills" :evil:

They are far from gone. They just opened their stock in the Orion Stock Exchange (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2275067#2275067) yesterday.