NationStates Jolt Archive

The Maracaibo Post

Consolidated Foods bioengineers a true boneless chicken
Consolidated Foods of the Consolidated Industries conglomerate displays a truely boneless chicken.

TRIPOLI, MARACAIBO -- "It is a bag of flesh. It sort of has a skull, but it's mostly a bag of flesh. It does taste good, though."

One reporter's comments on the recently displayed boneless chicken bioengineered by the labs of Consolidated Foods Co.

"What we've done," said CEO Walter Straub, "is remove a good portion of bones and chewy parts from the chicken. What's left is mostly a big bag of skin and feathers, but it tastes absolutely great."

For it does taste absolutely great. A nearly completely boneless chicken; and those bones are mostly from the head, should for some reason you choose to eat it.

The government is expected to slap a series of restrictions on the creation of boneless chickens solely created for the chicken-cooking industry.

"It's a marvelous step forward, and I hope the government isn't going to take it away from us," said Straub.

So, how does the chicken not appear as a blob of it's own fat and meat?

So, how does the chicken not appear as a blob of it's own fat and meat?

That's what it is as a result of doing such things with the chicken's physiology.


"It sort of has a skull, but it's mostly a bag of flesh."



And...



"What's left is mostly a big bag of skin and feathers, but it tastes absolutely great."

http://www.bundlings.com/rich/boneless.jpg

(Like so)

http://www.bundlings.com/rich/boneless.jpg

(Like so)Crap! You beat me to it by seconds! :x

Bwahaha!

OOC: Heh. Good ol Larson.

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The Maracaibo Post

Boneless meat market restricted?
Government unveils plans to slap restrictions on the boneless chicken market.

TRIPOLI, MARACAIBO -- Parliament has outlined the points of a "Boneless Chicken Industry Restriction" Act, expected to be passed to protect the bioengineering freedoms, or lack thereof in the recently opened up industry of bioengineered meats.

The "BCIR" Act will limit the production of boneless chickens for resale and slaughtering.

First, the act shall limit creation of boneless chickens to bioengineering. The government will not allow breeding of boneless chickens.

Second, the act will call for sepeartion of conventional chickens and boneless chickens, and all interspecies breeding is outlawed.

Finally, boneless chickens may not be sold to civilians as "pets."

Said Consolidated Foods CEO Walter Straub, "as long as we may go about our business with this technology, we are satisfied. The Oglethorpian public should be allowed to benefit from our biotechnological success. That is, an absolutely delicious chicken with no chewy parts whatsoever."