Wombat News
11-11-2003, 18:02
Wombat News
According to Corti Zone (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=Corti), self-entitled Grand Mufti of the Lurk, something awful is creeping along underneath the very fabric of reality that every NationStater likes to call home. Corti discovered this unnamed horror while conducting his most recent ecto-sweep of the abandoned space between the General and NationStates Forums (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2058646&highlight=#2058646).
As Corti perused the forums’ crumbling interface and performed the difficult and painful Dance of the Right-Handed Surfer, he says that he felt an overpowering evil presence rubbing at his stomach. He impaled himself on a pencil and finished disrobing, hoping to utter the evil-spirit-banishing mantra in time to stop the evil from spreading.
Unfortunately, Corti’s incantation book lay on his coffee table in his apartment three blocks away from the internet café he was in. Leaving his robes and trinkets under the desk, the vexed Grand Mufti hurried to his flat as fast as he could with the pencil still driven hard into his left buttock.
“Running with all my manly might and the with the winds of long-dead ancestors blowing at my bare back, I almost made it to my book in time, but the evil had sent its minions to get me,” Corti said, concerning the six confused police officers who arrested him a block away from safety.
Sergeant Scallopp, who booked the naked and bloody Corti into jail that afternoon, stated, “This whacko was running and yelling about some kind of evil in that old dirtball of a forum next to the General Forum. His dick was all floppin’ in the wind and scarin’ some of the homeless folk in the area, so we had to pull him in. Besides, it was the third time he did it that week.”
“Nay, nay! Beware to all who fail to heed my warnings of impending evil coming from that dreadful forum! Blood shall run and children shall die and blood shall run,” screamed Corti from his tiny jail cell. “I must remove this accursed pencil from my left buttock and log on again to send the evil spirit back to the other abandoned forum below the NationStates 2 one from whence it most likely came.”
One of the biggest jokes in quite some time for the NationStates forum police, Corti is regularly belittled, a number of sharp objects routinely poked into the gaping wounds in his buttocks. In the meantime, a dark cloud of indescribable and merciless evil continues to spread outward from the abandoned forum and across the innocent boards of NationStates, slaughtering thousands and striking fear into even the stoutest of lurkers’ hearts.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – PUTTING LIFE AND LIMB ON THE LINE TO BRING YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT NATIONSTATES
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg
According to Corti Zone (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=Corti), self-entitled Grand Mufti of the Lurk, something awful is creeping along underneath the very fabric of reality that every NationStater likes to call home. Corti discovered this unnamed horror while conducting his most recent ecto-sweep of the abandoned space between the General and NationStates Forums (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2058646&highlight=#2058646).
As Corti perused the forums’ crumbling interface and performed the difficult and painful Dance of the Right-Handed Surfer, he says that he felt an overpowering evil presence rubbing at his stomach. He impaled himself on a pencil and finished disrobing, hoping to utter the evil-spirit-banishing mantra in time to stop the evil from spreading.
Unfortunately, Corti’s incantation book lay on his coffee table in his apartment three blocks away from the internet café he was in. Leaving his robes and trinkets under the desk, the vexed Grand Mufti hurried to his flat as fast as he could with the pencil still driven hard into his left buttock.
“Running with all my manly might and the with the winds of long-dead ancestors blowing at my bare back, I almost made it to my book in time, but the evil had sent its minions to get me,” Corti said, concerning the six confused police officers who arrested him a block away from safety.
Sergeant Scallopp, who booked the naked and bloody Corti into jail that afternoon, stated, “This whacko was running and yelling about some kind of evil in that old dirtball of a forum next to the General Forum. His dick was all floppin’ in the wind and scarin’ some of the homeless folk in the area, so we had to pull him in. Besides, it was the third time he did it that week.”
“Nay, nay! Beware to all who fail to heed my warnings of impending evil coming from that dreadful forum! Blood shall run and children shall die and blood shall run,” screamed Corti from his tiny jail cell. “I must remove this accursed pencil from my left buttock and log on again to send the evil spirit back to the other abandoned forum below the NationStates 2 one from whence it most likely came.”
One of the biggest jokes in quite some time for the NationStates forum police, Corti is regularly belittled, a number of sharp objects routinely poked into the gaping wounds in his buttocks. In the meantime, a dark cloud of indescribable and merciless evil continues to spread outward from the abandoned forum and across the innocent boards of NationStates, slaughtering thousands and striking fear into even the stoutest of lurkers’ hearts.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – PUTTING LIFE AND LIMB ON THE LINE TO BRING YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT NATIONSTATES
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg