NationStates Jolt Archive

SATO Officials Demand CACE Stop Waving At Secret Spy Satellites

During a press conference today, SATO admitted that they might have had more concrete proof of CACE’s biological and nuclear weapons programme by now if "certain CACE camera hogs" stopped waving at the secret spy satellites orbiting overhead. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=91160)

The surprise announcement came after SATO satellites detected several CACE members making obscene gestures directly into the lens of the cameras and thereby obstructing the view of dozens of suspected weapons facilities.

"CACE has been thumbing its nose at us for years and now their members have obviously been coerced into thumbing their noses at our super secret satellite technology," said a SATO spokeswoman. "This behaviour is totally unacceptable."

According to sources, the secret spy technology has been in place over SeOCC and several neighbouring countries since the Aperin wargames, and is so sophisticated it can identify the smallest details on an individual's face. To CACE citizens, it's like their own version of the Jumbotron.

"These camera hogs have taken advantage of the fact that we can see them and they continue with not only waving, but these horrific vulgar displays like purposely eating with their mouths wide open," the SATO spokeswoman continued. “You can just imagine how annoying it is for our intelligence officers.”

CACE remained defiant today and firmly rejected any resolution to the situation.

"Screw you, SATO," said a CACE spokesman, pointing skyward and mugging to the unseen cameras. "Hey, am I on Wombat TV? Wow, I'm on Wombat TV. Hi mum!"

THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – SKATING HAPHAZARDLY ACROSS THE THIN ICE OF TRUTH
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg

-moons the sky-

~Random Anhierarchi citizen

LOL!!! He look we made Wombat News :lol:

*moons the sky*

Frantic SATO image processor:

"Sir, sir, we've just picked up signs of a black hole developing in Anheirarch .. "

oooh can u predict the future

"Screw you, SATO," said a CACE spokesman, pointing skyward and mugging to the unseen cameras. "Hey, am I on Wombat TV? Wow, I'm on Wombat TV. Hi mum!"

probably the only part of the article that is factual, and my exact response when i read the article. today is a good day for the CACE! bloody the WBO's nose and make it to Wombat news. i laughed until i peed my pants.

-moons the sky-

~Random Anhierarchi citizen

*saves picture under C:\Desktop\Blackmail_Anhierarch*

North Hack News Update

In responce to this press release, an unnamed official in the Hack's intelligence agency, Section 3, mailbombed Wombat News' e-mail boxes with thousands of images and Quicktime movies of CACE citizens doing discusting things, including 3 Terabytes of citizens picking their noses at stop lights when they thought nobody was looking.

"We ain't gonna be the only ones looking at these freaks. If WN thinks its so funny, they can watch," the official was quoted as saying.

Aaah, mockery of SATO intelligence - priceless!

Aaah, mockery of SATO intelligence - priceless!

They also mock you CACE fellows, mate 8)

Wait, I am not in SATO :? Nor am I in CACE :?

I am the only one in this whole thing who they don't mock 8)

Try harder, maybe you'll get mocked next time! :wink:

Try harder, maybe you'll get mocked next time! :wink:

He already had the chance to mock me like... three times or so... :?
He didn't.

So I guess I am... unmockable? :?

Its cuz your not worth mocking..................{I got mocked w000t!} :wink:

I guess I am... unmockable? :?

No, but I am. Wombat couldn't find anything on me if he tried. Heh. Just one plus to being a lurker 8)

Mock! Mock! Mock!

(watches rather amusing satellite footage of some yak herder picking his nose while he waits for the herd of goats coming along the path crossing his to go by)

ROFLMAO - classic.

And please note that it clearly mocks both parties
*starts diplomatic row over the interpretation of Wombat News broadcasts*

KNN newsitem:
This morning sleezy magazines around the world were filled with leaked images of SeOCC government officials in akward positions. This included a pictures of a minister 'in action' while visiting an S&M brothel and a high-ranking civil servant who was cheating on her husband on the copymachine of the ministry. Somehow, 24.000 of these images were also neatly uploaded and categorised into the SeOCC data havens. The Knootian Intelligence Agency AIVD has no explanation for this incident and an official inquiry is underway.

:P

So I guess I am... unmockable? :?

You think?

:idea:

Wombat couldn't find anything on me if he tried. Heh. Just one plus to being a lurker

:idea:

Oh dear oh dear oh dear - you break cover once, and by golly you're going to regret it!!!

LOL,

WN

So I guess I am... unmockable? :?

You think?

:idea:

I know for a fact that I am unmockable.

Lord Goobergunch, Goobergunchian President
DU Regional Delegate
UNAOTO Member

OOC: *Raises hand and jumps up and down* I want in on the mockery. *Notices one finger pointing skyward* Wait, I'm not in CACE...

So I guess I am... unmockable? :?

You think?

:idea:

I know for a fact that I am unmockable.

Lord Goobergunch, Goobergunchian President
DU Regional Delegate
UNAOTO Member

Please... you're just trying to see your name in Wombat News... the pathetic attempt at challenging that brilliant publication will not result in getting your name in print any sooner. (I doubt my praise to Wombat will either...)

ROFL!!

I second the motion for "classic." All in favor say "Aye", all opposed, "Ney."

Many shares of Wombat News have recently been bought by Wazzuian citizens hoping to get a return on the increasing CACE/SATO/Reich hostilities.

Recent polls in the Imperium show Wombat New to be the most watched television network.

OOC: Aye.

The network of Wombat News is immediately becoming quite popular due to their broadcast of the recent CACE-SATO/WBO crisis, although it still can't compete the half-state funded, half-business funded Ozmian State News Network. The Omzian government recently fully legalized this channel, and this channel is available on many satellite and cable television in Omz222 currently.

Omzian citizens purchasing Wombat News stocks can also be noted.

Ah, ladies and gentlemen, it should be noted that the Wombat News organisation is an Australian Marsupials state-owned venture. The only other share-holder is the Holy Wombat, who's backing we are pleased to have (see Wombat News passim*) - and who smites our competitors with Holy Wombat zaps!

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid67/p656534b01bdb1d5cb34b8e0999793835/fbdc00b1.jpg

We are, however, extremely pleased that our small news organisation is so widely sought-after!

WN
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg

This has been a Wombat News bump

"Give 30% of all stock to us, and we won't kill this wombat."

"Aw... look! It's digging a hole! It's so cute!" <unidentifiable baby noises>

"Stop playing with the hostage."

"NO! You can't make me!"

"Give 30% of all stock to us, and we won't kill this wombat."

Go ahead. Kill the wombat. Make my day.

"Stop playing with the hostage."

:shock:

WN

And please note that it clearly mocks both parties


ooc: whatever. you don't get us at all: we are, in RL, the kind of people who give the finger to surveillance cameras to tell BB he doesn't own us. i think WN captured the true essence of the CACE.

KNN newsitem:
This morning sleezy magazines around the world were filled with leaked images of SeOCC government officials in akward positions. This included a pictures of a minister 'in action' while visiting an S&M brothel and a high-ranking civil servant who was cheating on her husband on the copymachine of the ministry.

It is simply fellacious to all these positions 'awkward.' SeOCC is proud of the diversity of our staff, in all ways, and we encourage all citizens and government officials to experience as many varied forms of life as possible. Next time, one need not spend all the money to use a spy satellite that can see through walls; if you ask we'll send you the video tape we made ourselves.

MoI Frontdesk

And please note that it clearly mocks both parties


ooc: whatever. you don't get us at all: we are, in RL, the kind of people who give the finger to surveillance cameras to tell BB he doesn't own us. i think WN captured the true essence of the CACE.

KNN newsitem:
This morning sleezy magazines around the world were filled with leaked images of SeOCC government officials in akward positions. This included a pictures of a minister 'in action' while visiting an S&M brothel and a high-ranking civil servant who was cheating on her husband on the copymachine of the ministry.

It is simply fellacious to all these positions 'awkward.' SeOCC is proud of the diversity of our staff, in all ways, and we encourage all citizens and government officials to experience as many varied forms of life as possible. Next time, one need not spend all the money to use a spy satellite that can see through walls; if you ask we'll send you the video tape we made ourselves.

MoI Frontdesk

Imagines Sea Orcs in awkward positions...

ARGH!! THE HORROR!!! THE HORROR!!! :shock: :shock:

Imagines Sea Orcs in awkward positions ...

OOC: ROFL. Then ROFL again.

WN

...It is simply fellacious...

ummm... I think you mean 'fallacious', there... from fallacy, as oppossed to from fellate...

wait, no... given the circumstances described, I think either one is equally accurate... :wink:

...It is simply fellacious...

NOT a typo.

We love the Wombats!

BUMPO for the fun of it.

Hey Wombat, we are offering you a TV channel in our nation. It will be called "Channel W" under comedy.

From FOEnet



November 11th, Port Bakunin

This Outer Eugenia-Wide Day of Ridicule has been marked by merry demonstrations, carnivals, block parties and other assorted festivities to commemorate the new depths of treachery and stupidity to which WBO's sweetly retarded gun-toting puppet SATO has sunk. The most notable event of the day has been a presentation given by a crowd at a Freetown amphitheater where thousands of spectators painted their hindquarters to spell out "WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION MY-" for the benefit of a passing SATO spy satellite. Bottoms up!


-Roberta Chavez

Ah, ladies and gentlemen, it should be noted that the Wombat News organisation is an Australian Marsupials state-owned venture. The only other share-holder is the Holy Wombat, who's backing we are pleased to have (see Wombat News passim*) - and who smites our competitors with Holy Wombat zaps!

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid67/p656534b01bdb1d5cb34b8e0999793835/fbdc00b1.jpg

We are, however, extremely pleased that our small news organisation is so widely sought-after!

WN
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg

This has been a Wombat News bump

OOC: Well, if people in two nations have already bought stock...sounds like someone is defrauding people in the market....

if people in two nations have already bought stock...sounds like someone is defrauding people in the market....

Also OOC:

If people think they have, then more fool them - Wombat News is owned 50% by Australian Marsupials and 50% by the Holy Wombat ... I even role-played this!! Give me a day or ten, and I'll dig up the thread (unless its gone to the great spinning wheel in the sky, that is ... )!

LOL,

WN

This has been an OOC Wombat News bump

"Give 30% of all stock to us, and we won't kill this wombat."

"Aw... look! It's digging a hole! It's so cute!" <unidentifiable baby noises>

"Stop playing with the hostage."

"NO! You can't make me!"

Please do not hurt the Holy Wombat!