NationStates Jolt Archive


Wombat News: Roanian Couple Contribute to War Effort

Wombat News
07-11-2003, 15:42
Engaged Couple Eschew Diamond in Favour of Direct Contribution to Oompa Loompah! War

Roan City, Wombat News

Roanian couple Alexander Black and Kelly Maxwell (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=84186) have decided to shun the traditional purchase of a diamond ring for their engagement.

“It’s not that we didn’t want a ring, it’s just that we didn’t approve of the way they are traded,” said Kelly.

The couple made their decision after hearing stories about the ruthless diamond companies, who routinely buy diamonds cheaply from rebel warmongers such as the Oompa Loompah! in south-west Klatchia (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=75732).

“We really hate to see the exploitation of the Third World,” claimed Alexander. “Because they need the money to buy weapons, the Oompa Loompah!ns are forced to sell their diamonds cheaply to these greedy multi-national diamond companies. We just weren’t willing to accept our money gong to such heartless corporations.”

The couple initially tried to buy directly from the suppliers, but found that the Oompa Loompah!ns didn’t have a web-site. Disappointed at first, they decided that the best way to make a statement was to contribute money directly to the war effort.

Kelly thought long and hard, but is now happy with her decision. “I figured I would have probably chosen the pinker diamonds that tend to come from that area, so I sent off a cheque to the Oompa Loompah!ns just the other day.”

“I used to say I’d kill for a diamond, so I really understand where they’re coming from,” Kelly said. “I’ve also heard that diamonds are forever,” she explained, “and so is death, really, so I don’t think I’ll ever notice the difference. Although they also say that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, and I’m not so sure about that. Some of those troops seem a little scary.”

Alexander is also very happy with the couple’s decision. “It makes me very sad to think of those poor little children digging away in Klatchia’s diamond mines when, if people would just avoid the diamond companies, they could so easily be out there fighting on the frontline.”

THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – A SPARKLE OF REALITY THROUGH THE STYGIAN GLOOM
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg
Vrak
07-11-2003, 15:46
OOC:

Alcona, you've been Wombatized!

:D
Jeruselem
07-11-2003, 15:51
IC

We send a letter a complaint about misleading information about our relatives who rule Roania. Speculation about the source of their diamonds is frivolous and scandalous.

OOC

Well done!
:P
The Imperial Navy
07-11-2003, 15:56
I want to be Wombatted!
Alcona and Hubris
07-11-2003, 16:09
We protest this blatent mis-representation of the situation in the south west Klatch. The Oompa Loompa have been using blanet terror tactics such as singing horrid, moralistic songs in chorus, attempting to force enemy fighters to drink their gas giving soda, and using "wonka vision" on our troops. We are attempting to remove these cultural defects and make them swill beer, speak in unintelible accents, and revere bag pipe music like the rest of Alcona and Hubris. Donations for these efforts may be made to:

The Oompa Loompa Retraining Center
Under the pipes behind the third set of stairs
Kingshill Station, Torrhall
Hubris

Make checks payable to Cash

http://www.eng.auburn.edu/users/donatgw/th-wi20010311_GeoffreyRush_Granitz_156441.jpg
Jhon Heist,
Acting Director of Disinformation and Public Ridicule
The Federated Klatchian Coast

OOC: :lol: :lol: :lol: Well, I guess I have been....
:shock: wait...
Wombat News
07-11-2003, 18:33
I want to be Wombatted!

"You were - don't you remember? Still, never mind - I've got a good one for you TIN-man. I'm just waiting for an appropriate moment .. "

Pape Razzi
Editor-in-Chief
http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid87/pda22c0ab2140ceb42cbbf0f2271afd5b/fa9f249c.jpg

This has been a Wombat News bump
Roania
08-11-2003, 00:59
The various councillors all avoided his highness's eyes as he entered the room. "All right. First order... what?" Prince Alexander asked as he sat down.

The councillors coughed. "Well... um...," Merrech carefully pulled his cowl up even further so no-one could see his eyes, "have you seen the paper today?"

Edmund became very focused on his medals.

Alexander looked around. "What are you seven on about? What's in the paper?"

Another councillor carefully passed him the morning news. Alexander scanned it. "Terrorist strikes on Mars, 15 ft snake born to woman, Morgoth comes out of closet... this is the Wombat News? What's so wrong?"

"Look at the front page, sir."

Alex scanned it. His eyes narrowed. "Get me my Master of Assassins."

"He's on vacation, sir."

"Then get me my assassins!"

"They are all at a wedding."

"Then," Alexander sighed, "send out some soldiers!"

"You sent the Home Guard on maneuvers, sir. They won't be back for a few months." Edmund smiled wanly, and then his face froze as a variety of desk ornaments flew towards him.

OOC: LOL!