Wombat News
03-11-2003, 13:40
Melkor Unchained, disgraced former Valar, today announced in a press conference that he would be embarking on a comeback tour “very soon”, supporting third-rate boy band “Alistaan” on stage. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=88479)
It was perhaps not the comeback most were expecting to be announced at the press conference, and after a quick flurry of conversation and flashbulbs, the questions started pouring in …
Firstly, someone asked what exactly Melkor was planning to do on stage, to which he responded, “Well, I’ve got an album coming out in time for Christmas and I want to prove to my critics that I can in fact sing like an angel.”
One correspondent suggested he might do a better job of managing the so-called “band” before nullifying his comment with an “actually, probably not”, much to the amusement of the gathered international media.
Melkor’s announcement further fuels speculation that he may be in the middle of some sort of breakdown or late mid-life crisis, triggered by his fall from grace. Only recently he was seen pouring tomato ketchup over his head in a supermarket in Udun before escaping on foot.
Melkor’s first single will be a cover of Meat Loaf’s hit “I will do anything for love”, and will feature Sirithil nos Fëanor on backing vocals. Other tracks from his forthcoming album include a cover of The Beatles’ song “Help” and Radiohead’s “Creep”. Melkor also claims to be penning a couple of songs of his own, provisionally titled “Gun me down like the Rabid Dog that I am!” and “Killer on the Rampage”. Rumours of a cover version of Las Ketchup’s recent hit “The Ketchup Song” have been vehemently denied.
He certainly seems to have the support of his former colleagues. Varda Elentári was today quoted saying: “I think it’s f**king fantastic, the crazy w**ker!” Big Manwë Súlimo seems to concur: “Well, he’s done a lollypop there between the twizzle-sticks and come up whistling. I’m pleased for the lad. Shame the music’s shite, though.”
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It was perhaps not the comeback most were expecting to be announced at the press conference, and after a quick flurry of conversation and flashbulbs, the questions started pouring in …
Firstly, someone asked what exactly Melkor was planning to do on stage, to which he responded, “Well, I’ve got an album coming out in time for Christmas and I want to prove to my critics that I can in fact sing like an angel.”
One correspondent suggested he might do a better job of managing the so-called “band” before nullifying his comment with an “actually, probably not”, much to the amusement of the gathered international media.
Melkor’s announcement further fuels speculation that he may be in the middle of some sort of breakdown or late mid-life crisis, triggered by his fall from grace. Only recently he was seen pouring tomato ketchup over his head in a supermarket in Udun before escaping on foot.
Melkor’s first single will be a cover of Meat Loaf’s hit “I will do anything for love”, and will feature Sirithil nos Fëanor on backing vocals. Other tracks from his forthcoming album include a cover of The Beatles’ song “Help” and Radiohead’s “Creep”. Melkor also claims to be penning a couple of songs of his own, provisionally titled “Gun me down like the Rabid Dog that I am!” and “Killer on the Rampage”. Rumours of a cover version of Las Ketchup’s recent hit “The Ketchup Song” have been vehemently denied.
He certainly seems to have the support of his former colleagues. Varda Elentári was today quoted saying: “I think it’s f**king fantastic, the crazy w**ker!” Big Manwë Súlimo seems to concur: “Well, he’s done a lollypop there between the twizzle-sticks and come up whistling. I’m pleased for the lad. Shame the music’s shite, though.”
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – LIGHT FROM THE DEEPEST DARKNESS OF THE CONSTRAINER’S LAIR