NationStates Jolt Archive


Terrorist Situation Resolved With Minimum Bloodshed

30-10-2003, 20:36
OOC: I don't know how many times I can stand to repeat this, but once again I am a n00b fantasy nation and if you don't like arcane magicks and strange beings, then just ignore me. Or, even if you do like fantasy nations, you might still want to ignore me.

A few days ago, unknown terrorists stormed the current HQ of The Goblin Rights Move's (not-really) infamous leader, Warlord Snottynoze. After a failed attempt of blasting a hole in the HQ wall with a kamikaze squig (rode by the foreign minister/odd one), during which the squig was shot with a cannon and the minister had to once again retreat from the large mansion that Snottynoze had ransacked, the goblins were, quite frankly, stumped.
However, the situation was resolved when the warlord himself walked out of the mansion unscarred. Snottynoze revealed that the terrorists had been some kind of alien race called a 'grot' bearing a striking resemblance to a goblin, though they knew how to use basic firearms. They had demanded that grots be considered just as equal as other goblins as compared to orcs (or as they called them, orks), considering that equality with other greenskins was TGRM's main concern. The warlord had actually spent the day chatting with his guests while feeding on some substance which the warlord would not quote on, and had agreed to elevate grots to the same level as goblins in return for one of the grots' kannons, which he liked due to it's ability to make a lot of noise. The grots agreed, and the warlord was returned peacefully, with only the first few goblins in the assault dead and bruises on the foreign minister.
When asking Snottynoze himself on the situation, we got this response:
"Oi, dem grotz' a good buntch, coz deyz got big pipez dat make BOOMs! Deyz okei, we agreed dat dey can come to our Chriz... Krist... Jing-gely bells party. Mez also have da forein' minister draw deyr boomstiks so da alkiemistz can make some o' dem too! Wez gonna bash doez orcs wid our gunziez!"
The situation has not faltered the production of kamikaze squigs, which will soon become buyable by other nations. After that, TGRM will start manufacturing orc choppas specially crafted to goblin-size. Study will also begin on the guns that the grots had carried.

OOC: Basically, no one was interested on the shocking (pfft!) terrorist situation I tried to orchestrate earlier, so I decided to end it quickly. Maybe it was too early for an unknown nation like myself to try something like this, but it never hurts to try. Also, if anyone doesn't know, the grots are sci-fi versions of goblins in Warhammer 40,000. They're the same as goblins, they just use guns.
Also, note my attempt to foreshadow that TGRM will not be limited to only swords and sorcery... there's gonna be a lot of bashing with gunziez!