NationStates Jolt Archive

The new harmless cigar is being made in very few amounts at the moment, a product aimed at vampires obviously. The cigar is the pinnical in sophistication and offers a new experiance in feeding.

Frozen and crushed blood is put into the cigar replacing the tobacco and other vile substances, the paper outside is soaked in blood. The result when smoked is an extremely pleasing experiance, it is unique and an exciting new way to feed. Obviously, it is a luxury item and due to it's price it can never replace conventional feeding. Obviously, this blood is from blood donors etc. You can special order some of the finer and more potent blood later on in its production.

When smoked, the paper burns and the crystals have the effect of blood but in vapour form. The blood slowly condensed within the throat and mouth, an experaince which is delicous and unique in consumption. It has no health risks, and no chemicals are added to induce an addictive side.

Obvious to say, this product is ONLY for vampires, and please be assured that this is only a small production at the moment. Funding would be greatly appreciated.

They come in packs of 10, and each one is extremely fine. Each packet costs £20, but for the unique experiance offered by no other brand, you must try it at least once. Why not buy a handcrafted limited edition Irenicus Cigar Box, only £40!

Choose Irenicus Cigars, the red fumes of life!

http://www.superweddings.com/shopfor/cigar.jpg

( All Copyrighted)

(OOC What do you think? I am looking for someone to buy my idea so that I go into massproduction, bear in mind, this profile is one person. Taking small amounts of orders..max 10 packs each, one collectors box each.)

I'll take a max order and see what my people think. If we like it we might commission you to make more for us.

http://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti/pavis.jpg
General Pavis Noir, KSC
Head of The Kallistian Millitary
Empire of Eris Kallisti
(currently incharge of Undead realtions untill Malice Tarashibo returns to the nation)

"Oh this is truly excellent. We'll take 10 packs. Our vampires will give you their opinions once they have been tried and tested."

Certainly, that would be 10 packs for £200, and because you are my first customer, I shall give you the limited edition collectors cigar box as a symbol of my good will.

10 Packs of Irenicus Blood Cigars- £200
1 Limited Edition Irenicus Blood Cigar Box- free

Total: £200
Payment made by: Eris Kallisiti

You both have very good tastes. Keep an eye out for other similer products.

10 Packs of Irenicus Blood Cigars- £200

Total: £200
Payment made by: Auir II

This object has been thoughily salted, burned and banned in Slutbum Wallah due to the possible side effects of passive smoking.

Salutations,
SbW

Passive smoking? There is no addicitive side to these cigars, they are in essance, cystailised blood which can be smoked. The paper is not paper in reality, it burns harmlessly and has no side effects upon a vampiric body.

I understand your concerns, but there are no side effects. A vampire may only wish to buy this product again due to the pleasant taste, the thirst itself is an addiction. Humans obviously should not breath in the smoke, let alone smoke one. I assure you a human smoking one, it is rather unpleasant, yet still harmless.

Most polite vampires would smoke outdoors like any normal person, and there is very few blood fumes, as the smoker breathes them back in. In fact, to those who really wish to, the cigar "can" be devoured normally, although it is not suggested, we wish you to experiance them as they should be experianced.

Ah, you have once again inveted something quite usefull. You never fail to amaze me Kain.

Ok, buisness talk now. Our nation is offering to produce the cigars for you. But we have to talk about the profits. But I'm sure we can work something out.

On a off-topic note. All vampire nations(you can send a representetive if you want, just to represent the vampires in your nations) are Invited to the following thread.

http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=86264&start=0

Ofcourse you will be forced to come without bearing arms(unless your dress code enforces it or it's a formal weapon(swords etc)), and you will be sworn to act peacefully on this meeting.

OOC::: Only for vampire nations. If you want to come but have no vampires in your nation:
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=84067
You can ask for a invetation there.

we'd offer to come to your meeting... unfortunately our normal head of Undead Relations was kidnapped durring a Vampire conferance, and we will -not- put our people in that situation again.

http://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti/pavis.jpg
General Pavis Noir, KSC
Head of The Kallistian Millitary
Empire of Eris Kallisti

Very well, this product is a way of funding some of my expenses and more...complicated research into my own private projects.

(Please note the following is private. Any further offers for production of this product are welcome. If you should agree, I will give a RL day to anyone who wants to give me a better porduction rate and money, although....there are other things to bear in mind with Kain.... :D )

Obviously these requirements for producing a Irenicus Blood Cigar are:

Blood, ability to crystile to blood.

The paper needs to be put into blood for at least half an hour.


40% of profits go to myself, 40% goes to yourself as a symbol of my good will, and 20% goes towards researching methods of improving or creating new products. The brand name will be mine, and all the usual legal matters shall be dealt with.

Now...how much do you think you can produce these Cigars for? Obviously it would be cheaper, currently it cost myself for each packet of cigars, depending upon my own sources for the supplies.

Blood:£6
Cystilation process: Free (Kain's spells)
Paper: £5
Packaging:£2

How do you think you would improve upon this? Obviously, the prices may have to go up, due to wages and the cystilation process but you surely could find cheaper suppliers?

At kain:

Well first off, seeing I'll be buying bulk(big amounts) paper and packaging will be cheaper for me. Also, blood isn't so expensive here, seeing that our nation is known to vampires.

Now ofcourse we can let a lot of this turn into automatic proceders. We can animate things without a cost, and I'm sure we can buy/make machines for the rest. And I don't think the prizes are fair. I would say 50% to you, 30% to us and 20% for the research

At Eris Kallisti:

Your representetive will not be harmed. Ever security option we can take have been taken. Feel free to send someone, if you feel it's needed we will assign him a personal body guard troughout the palace.

May we both advantage from this, and may our profits soar! When do you think you cna be ready with production?

At Eris Kallisti:

Your representetive will not be harmed. Ever security option we can take have been taken. Feel free to send someone, if you feel it's needed we will assign him a personal body guard troughout the palace..... well, I'll contact one of the other elders and see if they are willing to join... though this was the same assurance we had gotten before. I'll speak tothe other elders and see what they think. I'd go myself, but right now I have two jobs to fill and cannot handle going anywhere right now as I have my hands full
http://www.cybersluagh.com/ErisKallisti/pavis.jpg
General Pavis Noir, KSC
Head of The Kallistian Millitary
Empire of Eris Kallisti
(acting temporary Head of Undead Realtions)

Edit: whoops! wrong offical LOL *changed it*

I think for the factory to start working, and to have all the flaws sorted out a year is nessesary( 1 RL day).

Are you gonna distribute them?

At Eris Kallisti:

You do know that this meeting is for the most part made up by vampires? And I don't think any of them wants a massaquer, seeing that the chance they they would escape is... small.

I would distribute them, I will keep you notified of the progress via Telegram. (Once every 2 RL days)

The oral stage is the first stage of psychosexual development in (mortal) children. Your invention is intriguing in that it suggests that undeath resets psychosexual development, beginning a new progression through the five stages. Normal vampiric behavior clearly displays an oral fixation; sucking nourishment through a small hole in another's body may be a psychological age regression to mortal infancy, where one obtained nourishment by sucking at their mortal mother's teat. What is interesting about your invention is that it entirely skips the anal stage of development, directly melding the oral and phallic stages, perhaps suggesting some feeling of loss over the undead's inability to reproduce through copulation.

The traditional method of vampiric feeding provided a vivid mixture of the forces of Eros and Thanatos, combinging the sensuality of a kiss with the violence of forcefully penetrating the flesh, and extracting the blood which symbolizes both life and death. This new feeding method of yours, the sanguine cigar, strengthens the symbolism by inserting a phallic symbol into the feeding process and then burning it. This brings to mind some questions. Is this a mourning of corporeal traits lost upon transformation? Or is it a violent rejection of the needs and desires of the mortal coil?

The Commonwealth of Cathexis thanks you for opening the gates to this new realm of undead psychology. We look forward to much productive research into the mental processes of those who are no longer burdened with the fetters of mortal life.

Think what you will. You can think about the psychology sides all you wish, but it has no significance to my own beliefs. I smoke them yes, but in no way can they replace normal feeding. Like a sweet is to a devolping boy, they cannot live upon it alone, yet it still grants nutrision. Not a perfect comparison, the example to be perfect must be that the sweet can provide all the nutrition. But, again if you take many of these sweets you would survive. The feeling is only a pleasant, like how different food's textures effect the meal. I am sure you can appreciate how a a real fish with its textures, is far more delicous than fish power. I do not live on these Cigars, I would need to smoke two packs a day, an expensive feeding process.

Are you aware when you say that what you say with these theroys upon the devolpment has many relation to other ways of feeding. Obviously, I do not kill and feed, I would use blood banks. I would drink the blood from a glass or the like, not from the person if it where not for my own magical devices. So this applies not only to my cigars, but to any vampire taking blood in any other form, wheter from injections, drips, sacheys, bloodjems etc. I feel no loss of any of the kind as you suggest, I simply enjoy the pleasant experiance of the cigar, as do many others. If you apply this thought to my cigars, you apply it to those who do not feed in the normal sense. This is not extrodinary.

I reject nothing of my vampiric nature, it brings many curses and many blessings which I accepted knowing fully of what it meant. Again, such thought is not to the Cigar. I do not feed, I have other methods of sustaining myself, my situation is unique and I shall not go into that. Treat me as though I drink blood donors blood as you might drink water.

As to your thought of "no longer burdened with the fetters of mortal life" you are deeply mistaken. True we no longer fear time, yet we still face many moral dilemas. We face rejection, prejudice, violance, geniside. We see those mortals whom we care and love fade away and die before our eyes, we cannot see them in the next life. We feel the thirst and indescribable primal drive which drives many to kill when they do not wish to. A vampires life is an eternal struggle in many cases. Of course, I am going on what I have seen and felt myself.

Irenicus Cigars now for Sale in Bulk!

You may now place orders. We still have stock of the limited edition box, we have ten available for each nation.

As to your thought of "no longer burdened with the fetters of mortal life" you are deeply mistaken. True we no longer fear time, yet we still face many moral dilemas. We face rejection, prejudice, violance, geniside. We see those mortals whom we care and love fade away and die before our eyes, we cannot see them in the next life. We feel the thirst and indescribable primal drive which drives many to kill when they do not wish to. A vampires life is an eternal struggle in many cases. Of course, I am going on what I have seen and felt myself.

So what I'm seeing here is a rejection of Cathexis' assertion that your "unlife," as it were, is free of problems. Rather, you claim that it is contains some problems that mortals also face, and some they do not. You describe a love of life, but also a need to kill. This is somewhat in the same direction as what Cathexis described, but they have an unfortunate tendency to filter everything through these fictional constructs, warping what you actually said. I am here to listen to what's actually on your mind, not any of this "psychosexual" mumbo-jumbo. You've done such a wonderful job laying out your problems. Please go on, and we may begin to see what's really at the heart of the matter.

'Tis a shame that Oglethorpia is completely human, and already has companies such as our own making fine cigars for the populace.

-- Antanas White
Incorporated Industries Co.

The Bureaucratic States of Oglethorpia

I'll get a collectors box.

Limited Editon Irenicus Cigar Box- £40

Total: £40
Payment made by: Sigma Octavus

So what I'm seeing here is a rejection of Cathexis' assertion that your "unlife," as it were, is free of problems. Rather, you claim that it is contains some problems that mortals also face, and some they do not. You describe a love of life, but also a need to kill. This is somewhat in the same direction as what Cathexis described, but they have an unfortunate tendency to filter everything through these fictional constructs, warping what you actually said. I am here to listen to what's actually on your mind, not any of this "psychosexual" mumbo-jumbo. You've done such a wonderful job laying out your problems. Please go on, and we may begin to see what's really at the heart of the matter.

I have had to defend myself and those like me on numerous occasions. Notice that I do not use the word "race", vampires who where not born vampires cannot be considered a race. In simple terms you could call it a desease, but again this is a false portrial of real events. The fact that vampirism has positive and negitive sides it could not be counted as a disease as so many people prefer to remain ignorant of. It is not a disease or some kind of enhancement, it simply a condition. True, some people do not see these advantages as advantages at all, but that is simply opinon. But few could dispute that the negative aspects are ideed negitvie aspects.

True there are cures, but personally I could never go back. I have seen what I have seen, and even though that life which I had so long ago might be more peaceful, I have seen a new world full of wonders and horrors. Just the same as those people in war coming home to find themselves alienated with the society that cannot relate to them, the same would apply. Mortals, now I am not being prejudice with this next statement it is what I have found and I am refering to short lived races, to about 200 years lifespan.

Mortals cannot comprehend the deeper secrets of the world. It may seem as though I look down upon mortals, but obviously I envy them at times. The fact that you have such a limited lifespan would mean that you less time to fully realise the enitre gravity and consequences of some of the things I have seen. I cannot understand fully some of things I have seen, I do not take an active part in these cataclsimic events. I am simply watcher for the time being. I am only 30! In comparison to other vampires I am a new born, yet still my experiances have taught me much.

Mortals may envy our lack of fear for the passage of time. Indeed, knowing that you have eternity to live and never wonder about your own lifespan is certainly a great relief. But at the same time, many mortals do not comprehend this as a curse as well. Eternity is cetainly a long time to find a meaning and purpose within the world, let alone one normal lifetime! Vampires have made a choice (to those who where turned against thier will I am deeply sympatitic, those who turn others against thier will should die, such a choice remains forever.), a monumental choice which will effect them for eternity.

Respect the trials which we face, I assure you they are far more than a normal mortal lifes. So many times I have been the target of prejudice, from one organisation to the next. I hope some of these words will shed light upon the truth of events, well of what I have seen in my own short lifespan.

Kain Irenicus

(OOC BTW If you where wondering, I am 16. I think this is high quality stuff, what do you think? And also keep orders coming for the Cigars! :D)

when you make a cigarette, I'll be here. :-D

One Handcrafted Limited Edition Irenicus Cigar Box and the maximum amount of cigars we can also donate some blood from the 40 or some million humans who inhabbit the parts of our land where sun shines

Mortals cannot comprehend the deeper secrets of the world.



Once again we see your legendary arrogance.

This product that you are selling is digusting. We can only imagine where you got the blood needed to make these....

OOC: BTW this is scientificly impossable, you would need a bonding agent for these to even begin to work. It is an interesting idea.

l :D Rave, they will soon to be coming...



To that order, we can produce a hell of a lot, so please specify a number.
Blood would be greatly appreciated.

Limited Editon Irenicus Cigar Box- £40

Total: £40
Payment made by: Sovietia

How much blood is required per cigar as we can donate alot to this course and even money if needed and we would like to order 50 cigars if that is possible this would be great to have sold in stores all around, not just a order only thing with 1Billion or so vampires inhabbiting Sovietian Territory we wish to see this take off

I strongly caution you all against buying any of these objects. This has nothing to do with my long term plan to turn all of Irenicus into a small pile of dust.

~Cardinal Richelieu.

Cardinal Richelieu, we need to talk.

The VanHelsing society and hunt club.

What about?

Your long term plans for Irenicus we want to help.....

The VanHelsing society and hunt club.

(Kain Irenicus is NOT a nation. It is a single character. He simply had the idea and mde some privatly. then someone offered him a contract for producing them.)

What stops the blood crystals from melting?

The blood is not ice, it is crystalised, not frozen.

To the nation of Roania, before you lay down your "holy" quest in killing the elusive subject 57 I believe, remember this. I saved you. I saved a great number in that temple. And you where going to reward me. Of course I wouldn't have expected my mercy and sacrifice to be appreciated hmmm?

FROZEN AND CRUSHED BLOOD is put into the cigar replacing the tobacco and other vile substances, the paper outside is soaked in blood. The result when smoked is an extremely pleasing experiance, it is unique and an exciting new way to feed. Obviously, it is a luxury item and due to it's price it can never replace conventional feeding. Obviously, this blood is from blood donors etc. You can special order some of the finer and more potent blood later on in its production.

box each.)

Not frozen eh? hmm