Wombat News
28-10-2003, 14:02
New Public Toilets To Be Built In Honour Of Knootian State Secretary
Knootoss, Wombat News
The small town of Bugerme, nestled somewhere between Knootcap and Damsteram, is to erect a new public toilet block in its main square to commemorate the appointment of Galadriël Táralóm as the new Knootian state-secretary of Foreign Affairs (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=84773&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0).
Bugerme’s Lord Mayor was excited at the prospect. “It’s the least we can do for her,” he said. “ Galadriël does more than her fair share to publicise the town of Bugerme. She’s always saying it - particularly when she’s surprised.”
The lavishly sculptured exterior will feature “Ladies” and “Gentlemen” plaques manufactured from premium quality Menelmacari synth-slate - a symbolic gesture to the country to which she looks so often.
The fittings will be of the finest white porcelain. This will represent Galadriël’s purity and her perfect complexion. The sinks will have miniature statuettes of Galadriël mounted between the taps. “Of course, they will be pedestal sinks,” explained the Mayor. “In this way, the statuettes will be reminiscent of the position so many of her admirers put her in. Hopefully work will start early next year,” the Mayor told us.
It is hoped that celebrity Thomas Crapper will officially open the toilets once they are completed.
“We are going to approach him to see if he is available. Not because he cheered her appointment, you must understand, or that he is a close acquaintance. It’s just that his name is so appropriate.”
The toilets are expected to be visited by hundreds of visitors every year. Is it possible that members of the Knootian government or even the elf-queen (so admired by Galadriël) herself might one day use the toilets? “Don’t be silly,” said the Mayor. “Everyone knows that Lady Sirithil doesn’t go to the toilet.”
We contacted another member of the town council, Bijzonder Zat, to get his views on the project. “The trouble with public loos,” he ranted during a break between meetings, “is they don’t bloody well get looked after properly!”
“Rest assured that these toilets will be kept in pristine condition!” the Mayor stormed at the suggestion. “They will be checked on the hour, every hour. Make no mistake. We will do everything in our power to keep these toilets up to scratch.”
We passed on this information to Councillor Zat: “Up to scratch!” he said. “Up to scratch - my arse!”
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – BRINGING YOU THE LATEST AND MOST IMPORTANT NEWS ON POLITICAL UPHEAVAL WORLDWIDE, WHENEVER,WHEREEVER AND REGARDLESS OF THE COST
Knootoss, Wombat News
The small town of Bugerme, nestled somewhere between Knootcap and Damsteram, is to erect a new public toilet block in its main square to commemorate the appointment of Galadriël Táralóm as the new Knootian state-secretary of Foreign Affairs (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=84773&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0).
Bugerme’s Lord Mayor was excited at the prospect. “It’s the least we can do for her,” he said. “ Galadriël does more than her fair share to publicise the town of Bugerme. She’s always saying it - particularly when she’s surprised.”
The lavishly sculptured exterior will feature “Ladies” and “Gentlemen” plaques manufactured from premium quality Menelmacari synth-slate - a symbolic gesture to the country to which she looks so often.
The fittings will be of the finest white porcelain. This will represent Galadriël’s purity and her perfect complexion. The sinks will have miniature statuettes of Galadriël mounted between the taps. “Of course, they will be pedestal sinks,” explained the Mayor. “In this way, the statuettes will be reminiscent of the position so many of her admirers put her in. Hopefully work will start early next year,” the Mayor told us.
It is hoped that celebrity Thomas Crapper will officially open the toilets once they are completed.
“We are going to approach him to see if he is available. Not because he cheered her appointment, you must understand, or that he is a close acquaintance. It’s just that his name is so appropriate.”
The toilets are expected to be visited by hundreds of visitors every year. Is it possible that members of the Knootian government or even the elf-queen (so admired by Galadriël) herself might one day use the toilets? “Don’t be silly,” said the Mayor. “Everyone knows that Lady Sirithil doesn’t go to the toilet.”
We contacted another member of the town council, Bijzonder Zat, to get his views on the project. “The trouble with public loos,” he ranted during a break between meetings, “is they don’t bloody well get looked after properly!”
“Rest assured that these toilets will be kept in pristine condition!” the Mayor stormed at the suggestion. “They will be checked on the hour, every hour. Make no mistake. We will do everything in our power to keep these toilets up to scratch.”
We passed on this information to Councillor Zat: “Up to scratch!” he said. “Up to scratch - my arse!”
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – BRINGING YOU THE LATEST AND MOST IMPORTANT NEWS ON POLITICAL UPHEAVAL WORLDWIDE, WHENEVER,WHEREEVER AND REGARDLESS OF THE COST