NationStates Jolt Archive

A new commercial from the Sunny Tanah Burung Tourism Bureau:

It was the dawn of time. Man evolved from apes. Early hominids learned to use tools, and evolved into homo sapiens. We all know it, right?

WRONG!

Deep in the rain forests of Tanah Burung, a team of explorers has found INCONTROVERTIBE EVIDENCE that man actually evolved from orangutans.

And you can see the proof!

Come to Tanah Burung to view the skull of Rain Forest Man, the missing link between orangutans and humans. Attractive package tours are now available to see the skull.

http://www.reformation.org/skull.jpg

And while you're here, why not take in a show, see the endless forests, spend some time on the beach or aloft in one of our luxuriously-appointed blimps, sleep with an attractive local, or drink your days away?

Tanah Burung: Your Dreams Made Flesh (TM)

It is many eyars since we last visited your country. The Erotic Bank is interested in obtaining this treasure for our museums. Can you advise on an asking price?

Mathilde Kanak
CEO, The Erotic Bank & President of Floating World

Gimme mah damn skull back!

I would love to sleep with an attractive local!

- the emperor of philopolis

Um. Goodness.

Responses from the Sunny Tanah Burung Tourism Bureau follow. The government is not responsible for the views of tis tourism bureau, which can be ... over-enthusiastic.

Floating World, we cannot sell our national treasures, but we welcome your people as visitors. Marvel at the skull!

GMC, what can we say? Aargh. Snarl. Urk?

Philopolis, your people too are welcome. The tourism bureau can't actually gurantee an attractive young local, but they are very free with their favours, so your chances are good. Otherwise, prostitution is legal. Especially for a sexy emperor like yourself. Purr.

A group of tourists from Floating World arrive on the coasts of Tanah Burung by high-speed motor launch. Clearing customs & immigration, they proceed upriver by amphibious automobile, stopping occasionally to explore the villages along the way. At last they arrive at the museum housing the skull, looking forward to gazing upon it, slack-jawed in wonder.

And while you're here, why not take in a show, see the endless forests, spend some time on the beach or aloft in one of our luxuriously-appointed blimps, sleep with an attractive local, or drink your days away?

Brazen. Surely our more desperate, socially inept and middle aged citizens will be happy to go to another country where they are considered exotic and their money buys companionship.

Not that we endorse that kind of thing.

MUA Frontdesk

We also have a very nice banana pudding that SeOCC citizens may enjoy. Also a fish pudding that they may find more disturbing.

---

The skull is now housed in the new Rumah Pustaka Orang Utan Orang Asli (Museum of the Orangutan and Human), in the village of Kuala Kembali. Fortunately it is equipped with a proper dock, so the Floating World visitors can pull up alongside easily. Admission is cheap, but tourists will also be besieged by hundreds of children selling pencils, souvenirs, newspapers, miniature skulls, beetles, and vegetables that slightly resemble popular landmarks or internationally recognizable figures.

As they approach the museum, the Floating Worlders can expect these children to chatter at them endlessly. "Hello mister, please to buy a turnip shaped like Galadriel Taralorm?" "Pencils, you need pencils!" "Get you nice callboy, mister? One with health certificate?" "Peanut oil, make your hair shine good!"

OOC

Tanah Burung, you Indonesian?

We also have a very nice banana pudding that SeOCC citizens may enjoy.OOC: I came for the missing link, I stayed for the pudding! :wink:

ooc -- the pudding reference is an inside joke for SeOCC and not an attempt to hone in on the Pudding Supremacy of other nations. I'm living in Canada but yes, the language is Indonesian.