NationStates Jolt Archive

Esamopian State Television:

"We bring you live to the Elf citing... as you can see, several Esamopian citizens, while on citizen patrol, have found and temporarily detained what is being described as an "Elf" in the Esamopian city of Duker. Officials are being dispatched to the scene, and while most officials did not offer immediate comments, the Fifth Undersecretary for National Security was quoted as saying: 'We had no knowledge that such things existed, we will likely have to dissect the creature for purposes of National Security.'"

Please stay tuned for developments.

"Ahem, you shouldn't dissect that being. If it an elf, it would be a crime to dissect a living, sentient and superior being. And we elves don't like to be dissected. This could bring you some trouble. We can send to your nation an elven biologist to identify the person that you have found"

Whatever you do, just don't let it VOTE!!!!

We have to agree with Aelosia.

Elf are not unknown. Quite a few states have elfish inhibtants. You might want to reconsider disecting the elf. We are backing up Aelosia on this case.

And to Piddly Woo: Why not let a elf vote? Doesn't it have a mind? Can it not think for itself?

"Ahem, you shouldn't dissect that being. If it an elf, it would be a crime to dissect a living, sentient and superior being. And we elves don't like to be dissected. This could bring you some trouble. We can send to your nation an elven biologist to identify the person that you have found"

The Foreign Minister's report left the jaws of all the Cabinet officials wide open...

"There are more of these... elf things!!"
"The horror, the horror!"

"Ahem..." The Premier cleared his throat in order to maintain some order and to indicate he would be speaking. "Order the officials to take the Elf into custody and transport him to the Fortified Army Hospital in the Capital... we must keep our options open."

"Ahem, you shouldn't dissect that being. If it an elf, it would be a crime to dissect a living, sentient and superior being. And we elves don't like to be dissected. This could bring you some trouble. We can send to your nation an elven biologist to identify the person that you have found"

The Foreign Minister's report left the jaws of all the Cabinet officials wide open...

"There are more of these... elf things!!"
"The horror, the horror!"



OOC: ROFL!!! :lol:

So you mustn't have heard about Lady Sirithil then?
You lucky guy... :?

"Ahem...We repeat. It's not wise to mess up with an important and powerful race. You shouldn't dissect that elf, that could bring very strong diplomatic problems to your nation. And yes, out there are more elves than you can imagine".

"I agree with Aelosia, disecting the elf wil bring serious reprocusions upon you, probably in the form of a Menelmacari Gravship"

We also request again that you do no disect that being until one of the bioligists have looked at this creature.

-Narack
Spokesmen of The Free Land of Lunoris

[b] Esamopian Politburo [b]

EMERGENCY SESSION

"I will do away with the formailities and immediately yield the floor to our Premier for a statement."

"Thank you, Mr. Chairman. We are being called for an event that is nothing less than a national emergency. As many of you already know, while on citizen patrol, brave patriots of Esamopia in the city of Duker detained what is now being described as an "elf." After some indecision, I have ordered that the creature be detained and it is now being held at the Fortified Army Hospital, 50 miles east, in the capital of Esamopia City. We currently have little information on this creature, and I have called this meeting to determine our next move. Are there any questions?"

"A question, Comrade Premier!" shouted a junior Politburo member from the back, "Comrade, why is the creature even being detained, I fail to see the reasons for this meeting."

"A good question," said the Premier quite cynically, "of course it was detained! For one thing, it is obviously a foreigner, giving us the right to detain it whenever we please, and it may very well be an agent of some nation attempting to do harm to Esamopia."

"Comrade Premier!"

"Yes?"

"A question sir, there have been rumors that foreign nations have protested the detention of this "elf." Can you tell us the details?"

"Certainly," came the annoyed reply, "Apparently there are entire nations composed of these... these things! Some have threatened conflict should the creature come to harm, while one has requested that a biologist be sent down in order to determine the elf's nationality. We have so far interpreted these actions as the usual interference seen by other nations trying to meddle in our affairs. Furthermore, our suspicions on the creature's motives in our country have been heightened by these objections, since it is apparent that perhaps there is more to this creature than a simple tourism expedition. The biologist's request has also been denied, since we believe that any foreign contact with the creature could result in a transfer of whatever intelligence the creature has acquired of Esamopia, and we wish to deny the enemy the priviliege of a status report."

"This finally brings me to my proposal. I believe that these "elf"-like creatures are obviously a threat, or at least a potential threat, to our national security. Since we obviously know very little about these... things, I clearly want us to be prepared for them. For this reason, the elf will be treated as a spy, and will be detained indefinitely, interrogated through various means and perhaps executed and dissected for biological data, in order to help us with developing bio-weapons... should the need arise. Are there any objections?"

It was note wise for anyone within the Politburo to show dissent... the fact that some even asked questions would raise eyebrows. The vote was therefore unanimous, the creature would receive no rights (since its status is that of a spy,) and will be at the full mercy of his interrogators at the army hospital... which even has the directive to execute and dissect if necessary.

<double post>

Press Secretary forced to resign after triple post scandal.

INTERROGATION ROOM
ROOM "101"
ESAMOPIA CITY FORTIFIED MILITARY HOSPITAL
10:09 PM

"What are the results of our interrogation, Captain?"
"Major, sir, I was recently promoted. Nothing so far, the creature has refused to speak, although it is possible that we are speaking in a language it does not understand, sir."
"Hmm... has it given any signs of intelligence... has it even spoken?"
"It has repeated some sort of droning chant... although we do not have any linguists in the base, some have theorized it is the equivalent of the name, rank, and serial number, although the chanting could really mean anything... we can't tell."
"I see... perhaps it is time to instruct this "elf" in the universal language?"
"Music sir?"
"No you fool! I don't know who promoted you... torture man!"
"Ah... would it not be prudent to first speak in its language... I doubt it'd be of any help moaning and screaming if we can't understand it..."
"You may have a point there... I'll see if anyone has access to linguists, or better yet, we may get someone from his homeland who speaks its language... Hold of on the torture then."
"Yes, Colonel!" The Major gave a crisp salute, which was followed by one by the Colonel who left the room.

Anyone have "elf" speakers?

:tag:

:tag:

OOC: I hate when the fourms glitch like that...

IC: There are far more strange creatures than the elves on this mudball.

http://home.earthlink.net/~alpha_zero_usm/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/krallc.jpg
Ambassador Krall'c
Head of Foriegn Relations
Former Head Ambassador

I strongly suggest you not harm the elf. Many nations view it as an act of war.

http://home.earthlink.net/~alpha_zero_usm/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/dinathos.jpg
Larea dinAthos
Head of Interspecies Relations
Represenitive Council to the Coalition of Universal Rights
Quote: "Wars are not started by the military. They are started by bad diplomacy."

I strongly suggest you not harm the elf. Many nations view it as an act of war.

http://home.earthlink.net/~alpha_zero_usm/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/dinathos.jpg[/img]
Larea dinAthos
Head of Interspecies Relations
Represenitive Council to the Coalition of Universal Rights
Quote: "Wars are not started by the military. They are started by bad diplomacy."

Esamopian Junior Adjucant of Foreign Affairs:

"Hmm... we will take your advice under consideration... what we really need though is an "elf" translator. If you have any we will gladly pay for their services, and they may help diffuse this incident... if we understand the elf's intentions."

Harming that elf will be an act of war. That elf could be an Aelosian citizen. You have been warned, don't harm that elf.

We can send an Elf to do translation work.

I suggest one of the following(secretly):

1. Kill it
2. Disect/Experiment
3. Export it

The choice is yours I just suggest whatever you do, keep it under cover. These elf nations are very hostile when it comes to losing their kin.

Gladius Leonium IV
Supreme Lord of Iron Blood

"WE gladly accept the services of a translator... however we must warn against the conducting of any "funny business" or other foolish activities, such as gathering detailed intel on the facility or attempting an escape with the prisoner... such things will not be tolerated.

However, we are glad to have anyone respond, so we will offer you all expenses plus a generous payment for your translation services.

You will also be treated as an honored guest of Esamopia, and as such we request to know your flight number and ETA in order to have a few honor guards present at your arrival."

-Random Esamopian Diplomat assigned to the case.

BUMP FOR TRANSLATOR

The Aelosian dropship landed in the airport, the hatch opens and a tall, slim elf, dressed in a formal suit exits the transport.

Two people followed him, a pretty nice maiden with a notebook, dressed in executive clthes, and a young elf wearing glasses, dressed casually.

The first one, clearly the chief of the expedition says to the guards "I'm the Dr. Aleine Paelisi, expert in culture exchange. Your goverment asked for a translator, so here I am"

The Aelosian dropship landed in the airport, the hatch opens and a tall, slim elf, dressed in a formal suit exits the transport.

Two people followed him, a pretty nice maiden with a notebook, dressed in executive clthes, and a young elf wearing glasses, dressed casually.

The first one, clearly the chief of the expedition says to the guards "I'm the Dr. Aleine Paelisi, expert in culture exchange. Your goverment asked for a translator, so here I am"

"Most excellent Dr. Paelisi... we did not expect other elf creatures to be with you... but that is alright I guess. As you are well aware, we've been trying to determine this elf's identity, as well as ask it questions relating to its presence or mission in Esamopia, and we'd gladly appreciate your assistance. Please follow me quickly into the limousine... and before anyone takes too much notice."

The person, a very slim individual of medium height, later identified himself as the Undersecretary for Elvish affairs... a new Department created by the government.

"We hope that our accomadations are good as we have spared no expense in your treatment, Doctor. If you have any questions or if you need anything please feel free to ask me. Although our destination is a few hours away, please take this time to ask anything or enjoy this movie on Esamopia that we have prepared for you."

"Oh, I will enjoy the movie, as a matter of fact I came here without the proper knowledge on Esamopia. And about my companions, don't worry about them, they're my executive assistant and my secretary. I need people for the paperwork and to care about the little details", he says smiling.

"I'm not an exigent subject, I have been on mission of this sort before, and I will be comfortable in a normal, human enviroment without excessive luxuries, a normal hotel is perfect". The girl sitted next to the Doctor keeps writing in her notebook, without taking a pause.

"When you found the elf?, and where are you keeping him?", asked the young elf.

"Oh, I will enjoy the movie, as a matter of fact I came here without the proper knowledge on Esamopia. And about my companions, don't worry about them, they're my executive assistant and my secretary. I need people for the paperwork and to care about the little details", he says smiling.

"I'm not an exigent subject, I have been on mission of this sort before, and I will be comfortable in a normal, human enviroment without excessive luxuries, a normal hotel is perfect". The girl sitted next to the Doctor keeps writing in her notebook, without taking a pause.

"When you found the elf?, and where are you keeping him?", asked the young elf.

"Of course, I shall instruct my aid to begin the movie shortly. To answer your questions and concerns, you will be staying at the Presidential Suite while your aids may join you or take seperate rooms in areas usually reserved for our top generals... I assure you the comforts will be extraordinary. We found the elf approximately 36 hours ago, it was detained by citizens on patrol, and was then transported to the Fortified Military Hospital we are going to now... do not let the name fool you, the building was designed for the care and comfort of our top generals and has an excellent staff... even our President and sometimes our Premier choose to go there for their comfort."

After being satisfied that the guest had no further questions (OOC: If you have any other questions please feel free to ask,) the movie began.

"Esamopia has had a glorious history and a great deal of diversity in the government. It currently operates under a "market socialism" economy under the Premier's government, which derives its power from the people. Although the Premier has a great deal of personal power, he is assisted and sometimes rebuked by a Politurbo composed by many elected and appointed citizens of various interests and walks of life."

"Esamopia is renowned for its majestic beaches, as tourism plays a great part of the state budget. Crime is very low... almost nonexistant, due to the highly trained and efficient police force, the pride of Esamopians in moving ahead on their own, and due to the many volunteer citizen patrols taken by our citizens."

"Esamopia's mission is to promote the average Esamopian's standard of living and hopes to treat all of its population with fairness and tolerance. It should be noted, however, that some Esamopians resent foreigners, and while they might tolerate tourists there have been a few complaints by the populace's actions against immigrants. It is very difficult for immigrants to access the country, and the nation's laws allow for the detention of all foreigners when not on official business or under diplomatic protection."

The movie continues playing...

"Nice country. You have a very beautiful motherland. My assistant will sleep with me in the suite. I'm glad that the elf was sent to that kind of facility, back in Aelosia we heard something about plans to dissect him like some kind of animal. Looks like only rumors, after all: When are we going to see that elf?", asks the Doctor, his voice backed by the sound of the girl's pen writing on her notebook.

"Nice country. You have a very beautiful motherland. My assistant will sleep with me in the suite. I'm glad that the elf was sent to that kind of facility, back in Aelosia we heard something about plans to dissect him like some kind of animal. Looks like only rumors, after all: When are we going to see that elf?", asks the Doctor, his voice backed by the sound of the girl's pen writing on her notebook.

The Undersecretary's brow was a bit raised as he noticed that the girl continued to write in the notebook... but he decided to let that go, must show courtesy and all.

"I thank you sir for your praise, Esamopia means so much to us all, and we'd hate to see a conflict erupt that would damage its pristine beauty. The plans for dissection must have been exaggerated..." The Undersecretary's face turned into a frown as he said the words, "I assure you that the elf has not been harmed as of yet, but has been declared a spy... at least temporarily. With your help we may know of its true identity and purpose. As for seeing the elf, you are welcome to do so as soon as we get to the base, which should be in a few minutes... although we were going to show you to your rooms first and offer you a night of rest. The situation is a bit urgent, but we value your comfort first and foremost and will therefore leave the decision on the timing up to you."

"Ah... it seems that we are approaching the base."

Before the elf doctor responds, the Undersecretary (his name is Abbas, so I will simply call him that from now on) speaks:

"I have just received a message via my ear-piece... it seems that the elf has not slept for the entire 36 hours of detention. Rest assured that he will be provided quarters at once, although this will have to delay your visit to him. I'm sure you understand that it'll need some sleep. This will also give you the chance to get accustomed to your new quarters on the base... although we hope that this mission will not take too much of your time of course. If you have any questions or needs, you may use this phone *hands him funny-looking phone* that will be in direct contact with my ear-piece. Furthermore, there will be a phone at your room and that of your other aid (the one not sleeping in your room,) that is connected with the base staff, who are instructed to assist you in anyway possible. Finally, my aid will be residing in the quarters nearby, he will show them to you before escorting you to your rooms. I wish you the best of luck... I must now return to the Capital, I shall see you tomorrow."

OOC: I am only doing this because I need to... sleep, in RL.

((OOC: I find it extremely amusing, that thus far, Esamopia hasn't even confirmed that it was an Elf. Elves aren't the only creatures with pointy ears. Look at Mr. Spock! :P But what's funny, is that as far as other nations are concerned, since Esamopia said it looks like an Elf, it therefore MUST be an elf. It would be funny, that when the translator from Aelosia gets to the "Elvish" creature is, he discovers that it's not even an Elf, but a Vulcun, or some other pointy eared alien. ^_^ I'd die laughing then.))


*Wedge Darkfur, Prime Minister of Foreign Affairs, has the following to say.*

Wedge: "Elvis? Isn't that human dead, or at least somewhere back on Mars? Well, in any event, please don't send "The King" this way. Thank you."

((OOC2: By the way, Wedge Darkfur, like 99.5% of my nation's population, is a neko. Or, as you non-otakus call 'em, "Catpeople."))