Alcona and Hubris
24-10-2003, 16:14
We now interrupt this thread to bring the players a much needed commercial break….
A scene of wilderness and beauty opens up on the screen.
The Klatchian Coast, known for it’s lush jungles and active wildlife…yet there is danger
Pictures of large crocodiles entering the water and opening their mouths.
The Klatchian Croc, the most fearsome beast of the Klatch….you need special equipment to take care of this predator...
No more… for Blamo now offers you the
The Klaymore Kitty
http://store1.yimg.com/I/windover_1764_676539.jpg
This is not an ordinary stuffed animal, it is a dangerous anti-croc weapon. Filled with seven pounds of degraded C4 explosive inside a fragmenting metal shell the Klaymore Kitty is a fabric covered plushy of death. The Klaymore Kitty exterior is modled after the young cubs of the Benj Cat. A delectable treat to our reptilian monster.
A cat is shown on screen…then being thrown towards a small crocodile. The croc bites down on the bait and then….
http://www.undp.org/erd/pubinfo/transitions/2002_07/images/explosion.jpg
But why would a perfectly intelligent Crocodile eat a stuffed animal, especially one filled with enough explosives to stop some armored vehicles?
Scent!!!
we supply a scent cartridge that is placed in the rear of the Klaymore after being activated, the Kitty gives off the smell of a very wet, Benj Cat. It is the smell that gives our Kitty that extra edge in making a Croc want to see if it just found a really dumb Benj Cat cub snack
A large white cylinder is twisted and then stuffed up the rear of the Klaymore Kitty. Then the woman holding his waves her nose and seems to want to faint.
But wait!, The Klaymore Kitty isn’t just for killing Klatchian Crocs…It makes a great assassination tool
A large man is shown sitting down on his throne, we then see a Klaymore Kitty under the cushion before he sits and Boom….
Also great for effective suicides…guaranteed to work*…Don’t live where there is anything higher than a three story building? Just strap on Klaymore Kitty and your guaranteed to join the dearly departed.
A man is shown waving at the camera then launching himself off the side of the roof. The camera follows his decent from above. He hits the ground, and the screen is filled with a gas cloud. The camera lens is then covered in some liquid material…
So Get your Klaymore Kitty today and stop worrying about those pesky Klatchian Crocs…
Klaymore Kat and Klaymore Kitty are registered trademarks of Quincy Mining incorporated. Do not give to children under the age of 21. Klaymore Kitty is a thrown mine, you should not attempt to play with Klaymore Kitty. You should not drop Klaymore Kitty over 15 feet. Do not taunt Klaymore Kitty. Stop using Klaymore Kitty if any of the following side effects occur: shrapnel wounds, bleeding from the ears, blindness due to shrapnel, cut arteries, or death. If Klaymore Kitty should be disposed of by a bomb removal team, if none is available, set Klaymore Kitty on fire. *If Klaymore Kitty is not effective in killing you, we will shoot you in the head for free.
A scene of wilderness and beauty opens up on the screen.
The Klatchian Coast, known for it’s lush jungles and active wildlife…yet there is danger
Pictures of large crocodiles entering the water and opening their mouths.
The Klatchian Croc, the most fearsome beast of the Klatch….you need special equipment to take care of this predator...
No more… for Blamo now offers you the
The Klaymore Kitty
http://store1.yimg.com/I/windover_1764_676539.jpg
This is not an ordinary stuffed animal, it is a dangerous anti-croc weapon. Filled with seven pounds of degraded C4 explosive inside a fragmenting metal shell the Klaymore Kitty is a fabric covered plushy of death. The Klaymore Kitty exterior is modled after the young cubs of the Benj Cat. A delectable treat to our reptilian monster.
A cat is shown on screen…then being thrown towards a small crocodile. The croc bites down on the bait and then….
http://www.undp.org/erd/pubinfo/transitions/2002_07/images/explosion.jpg
But why would a perfectly intelligent Crocodile eat a stuffed animal, especially one filled with enough explosives to stop some armored vehicles?
Scent!!!
we supply a scent cartridge that is placed in the rear of the Klaymore after being activated, the Kitty gives off the smell of a very wet, Benj Cat. It is the smell that gives our Kitty that extra edge in making a Croc want to see if it just found a really dumb Benj Cat cub snack
A large white cylinder is twisted and then stuffed up the rear of the Klaymore Kitty. Then the woman holding his waves her nose and seems to want to faint.
But wait!, The Klaymore Kitty isn’t just for killing Klatchian Crocs…It makes a great assassination tool
A large man is shown sitting down on his throne, we then see a Klaymore Kitty under the cushion before he sits and Boom….
Also great for effective suicides…guaranteed to work*…Don’t live where there is anything higher than a three story building? Just strap on Klaymore Kitty and your guaranteed to join the dearly departed.
A man is shown waving at the camera then launching himself off the side of the roof. The camera follows his decent from above. He hits the ground, and the screen is filled with a gas cloud. The camera lens is then covered in some liquid material…
So Get your Klaymore Kitty today and stop worrying about those pesky Klatchian Crocs…
Klaymore Kat and Klaymore Kitty are registered trademarks of Quincy Mining incorporated. Do not give to children under the age of 21. Klaymore Kitty is a thrown mine, you should not attempt to play with Klaymore Kitty. You should not drop Klaymore Kitty over 15 feet. Do not taunt Klaymore Kitty. Stop using Klaymore Kitty if any of the following side effects occur: shrapnel wounds, bleeding from the ears, blindness due to shrapnel, cut arteries, or death. If Klaymore Kitty should be disposed of by a bomb removal team, if none is available, set Klaymore Kitty on fire. *If Klaymore Kitty is not effective in killing you, we will shoot you in the head for free.