NationStates Jolt Archive


First Kamekaze Squig Tested

23-10-2003, 18:38
OOC: Generic n00b fantasy nation coming through, if you can't stand n00bs and/or fantasy nations, for God's sakes, don't flame me, just ignore me!

Since it became a nation earlier, the Goblin Rights Move has already began to experiment on simple, yet new weaponry, or as warlord Snottynoze put it, "stuff to make humie blood sqwirt out! WEE!". A few hours ago, a large stick of dynamite was strapped to a squig (a lump of flesh with a large set of teeth) and was lit. Then the squig was pushed into a nearby human who happened to unluckily be walking by. Goblin alchemists and shamans nodded approvingly as the human (and squig) were enveloped by fire and destroyed. Manufacture of kamekaze squigs will soon begin, once a fuse long enough to light from the back of the battlefield is built.
When asking the warlord himself about the project, he commented:

"BOOM! BOOMBOOMBOOM! Run humies, run! BOOM!"

...since none of that was decipherable, the foreign minsiter has been decided to be quoted instead.

"Yes, well, I can see this will prove effective in case some angry orc tries and make us join his group. Also, in case some racist or someone who the warlord tried to bit comes knocking on the door, we'll be able to answer. And I haven't even mentioned how effective kamikaze squigs will be once we enter war (our small size calls for some heavy ordnance)."

The only person complaining is the night goblin squig herder, a Mr. Sharpiestikk.

"Oi, wez only got that many squigs in our cavez. Wez can't just pull out a new batch evry time wez go fite da humies! Wez gonna run outta squigz once wez start supplying and humies start demending!"

Despite this, mass production of the kamekaze squig will begin and it has been predicted to hit the stores in very soon (about one week RL time, or when I feel like it).