Wombat News
22-10-2003, 11:46
GoggleBox, Wombat News
“Survivor: Islamic Law" is going to be the next craze in reality TV, according to pundits and Wombat TV network executives. Created by television genius Cath O’Deray, the show will closely follow the ‘Survivor’ format but will have only female contestants and will pit them against each other under the harsh Islamic regime of North Star. Set to air next spring and to be filmed this fall outside Luxx, the show will feature sixteen Iesus Christi women competing for a million dollars and voting each other off week by week. "That is, unless they don't get stoned to death first," laughed O’Deray, appearing on Wombat TV's Breakfast Show yesterday.
The women will not be provided with anything, and that includes veils and robes. "They'll have the usual ‘Survivor’ logo bandannas, and bikinis, of course, but that's about it. So the minute a North Star official sees one of them, she'll be killed," said O’Deray.
Luxury and reward challenges for the women on "Survivor: Islamic Law" will include stealing bread from a local baker without getting your hand chopped off, looking in the general direction of a man without getting whipped in the public square, trying to get behind the wheel of a car without being bayoneted and saying nice things about Jews out loud within earshot of a North Star police officer without getting shot on sight.
Jenny Ralstrike and Charlene Traylor-Park from the first ‘Survivor’ conceded that "Survivor: Islamic Law" sounds much tougher than the time they spent getting a tan and eating rice and bananas on the island of Layzi Mon Keigh in the South China Sea.
But former sorority girl Kelly Wasp, one of the contestants from "Survivor: Africa", insists that she and her fellow competitors had it much worse. "Like, there was like, that one time, for example, when the Ell Air Force mistook where we lived for a terrorist training camp. That was like, totally narly."
O’Deray rejects claims that "Survivor: Islamic Law" is sensationalistic and exploitative of the current tenuous world political situation. "I've been planning this Survivor for ages. Really. And what I am interested in is artistic integrity and originality. Not ratings or money."
O’Deray stayed mum when asked whether rumours that two of Mular Zahar Khan (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=83349)'s fifty daughters had been chosen for the show were true. "But if the rumours are true, again, those girls were chosen because they were the best candidates, not because of who their father is and a cheap ratings grab."
A North Star spokesman said that Shuri and Cher Khan had indeed been chosen for the new Survivor and that their father was "beaming and proud. He's a great dad and he's always taught his daughters to follow their dreams. Of course, if they wear bikinis he will personally order their executions. But that's not personal. That's religious."
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FROM THE BRIGHT LIGHTS OF THE GLAMOROUS WORLD OF REALITY TV
“Survivor: Islamic Law" is going to be the next craze in reality TV, according to pundits and Wombat TV network executives. Created by television genius Cath O’Deray, the show will closely follow the ‘Survivor’ format but will have only female contestants and will pit them against each other under the harsh Islamic regime of North Star. Set to air next spring and to be filmed this fall outside Luxx, the show will feature sixteen Iesus Christi women competing for a million dollars and voting each other off week by week. "That is, unless they don't get stoned to death first," laughed O’Deray, appearing on Wombat TV's Breakfast Show yesterday.
The women will not be provided with anything, and that includes veils and robes. "They'll have the usual ‘Survivor’ logo bandannas, and bikinis, of course, but that's about it. So the minute a North Star official sees one of them, she'll be killed," said O’Deray.
Luxury and reward challenges for the women on "Survivor: Islamic Law" will include stealing bread from a local baker without getting your hand chopped off, looking in the general direction of a man without getting whipped in the public square, trying to get behind the wheel of a car without being bayoneted and saying nice things about Jews out loud within earshot of a North Star police officer without getting shot on sight.
Jenny Ralstrike and Charlene Traylor-Park from the first ‘Survivor’ conceded that "Survivor: Islamic Law" sounds much tougher than the time they spent getting a tan and eating rice and bananas on the island of Layzi Mon Keigh in the South China Sea.
But former sorority girl Kelly Wasp, one of the contestants from "Survivor: Africa", insists that she and her fellow competitors had it much worse. "Like, there was like, that one time, for example, when the Ell Air Force mistook where we lived for a terrorist training camp. That was like, totally narly."
O’Deray rejects claims that "Survivor: Islamic Law" is sensationalistic and exploitative of the current tenuous world political situation. "I've been planning this Survivor for ages. Really. And what I am interested in is artistic integrity and originality. Not ratings or money."
O’Deray stayed mum when asked whether rumours that two of Mular Zahar Khan (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=83349)'s fifty daughters had been chosen for the show were true. "But if the rumours are true, again, those girls were chosen because they were the best candidates, not because of who their father is and a cheap ratings grab."
A North Star spokesman said that Shuri and Cher Khan had indeed been chosen for the new Survivor and that their father was "beaming and proud. He's a great dad and he's always taught his daughters to follow their dreams. Of course, if they wear bikinis he will personally order their executions. But that's not personal. That's religious."
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FROM THE BRIGHT LIGHTS OF THE GLAMOROUS WORLD OF REALITY TV