NationStates Jolt Archive

Wombat News: “Elfs: Meat at Its Finest” Ad Campaign Launched

Wombat News
22-10-2003, 11:15
SpitRoast, Wombat News

An unsuspecting population was yesterday introduced to a disgusting and disturbing ad campaign for Elf® brand meats.

This ad campaign, sponsored by MorDor Foods, was not sponsored by the pointy-eared people themselves. A spokesperson for the elven population said today "These butchers have usurped our brand and made a mockery of it ... and will be sued."

MorDor Foods refused to comment. However, a source close to the CEO, Sour Ron, said that the MorDor Foods Elf® brand meats were not meant to plagiarise elves themselves. "We love those guys," the source claimed. "But we also raise Elfs – enhanced long-horn free-range sheep - and they taste just great. We saw no reason to call them by their true names."

Elven representatives had this to say to the source: "We don't know WHY you call them Elfs ... but the name MUST change - as it is, we are already preparing to sue for damages."

THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FROM THE CUTTING EDGE OF THE MEAT MARKET
Der Angst
22-10-2003, 11:22
Meh... tasty.
Menelmacar
22-10-2003, 11:31
*Siri reads, and quickly moves her hand well away from the "Deploy Fleet" button*

"You startled me there for a moment."

"For new branding, might I suggest Free-range Longhorn Enhanced SHeep? It's a simple rearrangement of the existing long form, and it makes another spiffy acronym: FLESH."

http://www.weirdozone.0catch.com/projects/nationstates/sirithil/sirithilnosfeanor.gifLady Sirithil nos Fëanor
Elentári of the Eternal Noldorin Empire of Menelmacar
Chancellor of CENNA
"If it is to be war between us, it shall be war to the knife and the knife to the hilt."
~Foreign Minister Duke Paolio, The Outlands
We Love the Iraqi Information Minister (http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com)
Clicky-clicky!
22-10-2003, 11:33
Could we possibly see the ad campaign in question?
Wombat News
22-10-2003, 11:51
"For new branding, might I suggest Free-range Longhorn Enhanced SHeep? It's a simple rearrangement of the existing long form, and it makes another spiffy acronym: FLESH."

**rubbing close-cut (and V. trendy! :? ) goatee**

"Hmm, it works .. it definitely works .. but it's a bit lacking in the 'shock and awe' factor. Still, it has the major advantage of saving us from orbital bombardment back to the Stone Age ..."

Coppee Ritta
Wombat TV ad executive
Menelmacar
22-10-2003, 11:54
You owe me five credits in royalties... I trademarked 'shock and awe' last month.

http://www.weirdozone.0catch.com/projects/nationstates/sirithil/sirithilnosfeanor.gifLady Sirithil nos Fëanor
Elentári of the Eternal Noldorin Empire of Menelmacar
Chancellor of CENNA
"If it is to be war between us, it shall be war to the knife and the knife to the hilt."
~Foreign Minister Duke Paolio, The Outlands
We Love the Iraqi Information Minister (http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com)
Clicky-clicky!
Roania
22-10-2003, 11:55
Prince Alexander pulls himself up. "Breathe, Alex. Breathe..."

"Sir! We caught the reporter!"
Wombat News
22-10-2003, 12:49
"Sir! We caught the reporter!"

"Eh? What's that you say? Who has caught who? .. "

Pape Razzi
Editor-in-Chief
Wombat News
Sketch
22-10-2003, 17:19
You owe me five credits in royalties... I trademarked 'shock and awe' last month.

Look! It's Ubersoft!
Slagkattunger
23-10-2003, 01:04
ooc:- :shock: :lol: