Wombat News
21-10-2003, 11:58
Oglethorpia Urges Farmers to Grow Organs
More Organs Needed to Feed Hungry Nation, Newell Says
Los Polverines, Wombat News
As part of a sweeping reform of its national agricultural policy, the government of Oglethorpia today announced that it would offer farmers major new incentives to grow organs and other large key-board-based musical instruments (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=83726).
“Our nation is facing the dire possibility of starvation,” an official government statement read. “The only way to solve this problem is by producing more organs.”
Agricultural experts around the world were stunned by Oglethorpia’s decision to solve its hunger problem by urging farmers to grow organs, harpsicords, and grand pianos, with many observers saying that they had expected other crops, such as rice or soy beans, to top the government’s wish list.
But to the average Oglethorpian, the decision to produce more organs may be too little, too late, with winter approaching and most cupboards bare of organs or even smaller instruments like piccolos or tambourines.
In downtown Los Polverines yesterday, a line snaked around the block as customers waited for hours for the chance to buy an organ or even a single key or stop for their families.
But even as they waited, the organ store soon closed its doors, putting up a sign familiar to the downcast Oglethorpians: “No Organs For Sale Today.”
Dr. Quinte Gemshorn, an expert in Oglethorpia who has been studying the workings of its government and society for the last twenty years, says that the government’s decision to urge farmers to grow organs to solve its hunger problem is not as surprising as it might first appear.
“The more we learn about Oglethorpia, the more we realize just how creepy a place it is,” Dr. Gemshorn says.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FROM THE UPPER REGISTER OF ORGAN RESEARCH
More Organs Needed to Feed Hungry Nation, Newell Says
Los Polverines, Wombat News
As part of a sweeping reform of its national agricultural policy, the government of Oglethorpia today announced that it would offer farmers major new incentives to grow organs and other large key-board-based musical instruments (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=83726).
“Our nation is facing the dire possibility of starvation,” an official government statement read. “The only way to solve this problem is by producing more organs.”
Agricultural experts around the world were stunned by Oglethorpia’s decision to solve its hunger problem by urging farmers to grow organs, harpsicords, and grand pianos, with many observers saying that they had expected other crops, such as rice or soy beans, to top the government’s wish list.
But to the average Oglethorpian, the decision to produce more organs may be too little, too late, with winter approaching and most cupboards bare of organs or even smaller instruments like piccolos or tambourines.
In downtown Los Polverines yesterday, a line snaked around the block as customers waited for hours for the chance to buy an organ or even a single key or stop for their families.
But even as they waited, the organ store soon closed its doors, putting up a sign familiar to the downcast Oglethorpians: “No Organs For Sale Today.”
Dr. Quinte Gemshorn, an expert in Oglethorpia who has been studying the workings of its government and society for the last twenty years, says that the government’s decision to urge farmers to grow organs to solve its hunger problem is not as surprising as it might first appear.
“The more we learn about Oglethorpia, the more we realize just how creepy a place it is,” Dr. Gemshorn says.
THIS BROADCAST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY WOMBAT NEWS – NEWS FROM THE UPPER REGISTER OF ORGAN RESEARCH