NationStates Jolt Archive

Yes...indeed, this land can be yours as I tell it! The beautiful nation of Crownguard, the population supremely molded to your aims, the position of High Guardian open for your clutches! If you ever wanted to be a tin-pot dictator NOW is your chance! Send a check for $50 billion cash (dollars please) and we'll throw in a free batch of protestors for your torturing pleasure! Highest bidder takes it, so dont miss out on this fine opportunity!

PS: make it payable to...


The High Guardian
One Government Ave
Gariland, Crownguard

With a GDP as large as my nation's (currently estimated at over $9 trillion), I hereby place a bid of $100 billion, twice your request; the check will be made out as per your request as soon as I win. If necessary, I'll raise the bid. This is an offer I can't refuse! :twisted:

Sincerely,
His Serenity, President Hart

Forgot a small caveat...buying it negates the purchaser from killing the High Guardian or else having others do it. The High Guardian would be given portection, yada yada yada. While I appreciate your offer, I msut wait for more bidders to be fair.

(if anyone reading this does not understand this is a joke, you WILL become a Darwin Award...if I have to do it myself)


www.darwinawards.com

$125 billion.

Acknowledged; the High Guardian will be kept safe, albeit receiving orders from Autopolis. We'll see what others bid...

1tril USD.

Oh my, the bids certainly have gone up...

Bid raised to $1.2 trillion.

Two trillion. Why not?

Oh shoot, this could get ugly for me...

Bid raised to $3 trillion.

Automastan, I very much doubt you can afford that, considering your NATIONAL BUDGET is only 3 trillion

Now why didnt George W. Bush think of this??????

The Democrats would have burned him at the stake.

With my ubersurplus, I will bid 3.5 trillion.

4 trillion....

Democrats arent in a position to complain when its perfectly legal. The president owns the state...heh. Just look at the Patriot Acts..father knows best indeed.

Actually it's not even remotely legal and even if it was, since when has that interfered with party politics?

Never, obviously it wouldnt happen...but wouldnt it be nice for a game show? "Who wants to be a Dictator?" We could even get Regis, a few contestants (the prince of Saudi Arabia, Bill Gates, the Walgreens family, Osama, and a few others). Hilarity and hijinks ensue as they must go through obstacle courses, survive a week together, 24 hr media coverage, etc.

Yeah that would be great. But Regis would just be annoying. :roll:

Hey I'll tell you what. If we can close this thing quickly I'll give you the 4 trillion plus 50,000 aerial fighters, or 25,000 fighters and 25,000 bombers. Your choice. I'm kinda pressed for time here.

Set your price, I'll meet it.

My land, the bids have gone out of my range. (Sighs) I'll just have to look for another nation I can bid on...

Anyone know of one in my range?

WHile again I like the offer of the sovreign nation of Guan Yu, I cant clos eit till the sale is finished...Im sorry. Im not lookign for a speicfic price, really. But it MUST include protection, citizenship, and diplomatic immunity in the nation. A nice useless, important sounding title would be nice too..

My offer stands with the terms you've mentioned. Keep in mind that no one who has posted so far can match my economy.

Automastan, I have a couple of nations I might be willing to negotiate for. TG me for further info. (Sorry didn't mean to hijack the thread)

What guarantees do you offer the current High Guardian? I need to know...I dont want any "accidents" to happen to him...

It never ceases to amaze. Once again we see the utterly ridiculous tradition of 'nation selling' that so many of you enjoy doing. Never do you see this rp'ed correctly, nor do the nations buying them tend to take the hits financially or otherwise. It's quite frankly, the stupidest thing I think I've ever seen. I blame Everquest and that whole mindset of 'building up characters and gaining rare equipment then selling it on E-bay for real friggin' cash for chrissakes.

Really. This has got to stop somewhere. And granted, my little tirade here will most likely get nothing but ridicule and scorn, but hey - had to be said. Seriously - stop the madness.

--Nathi's Player

Oh shoot, this could get ugly for me...

Bid raised to $3 trillion.

are you aware that your nation would be unable to afford even your initial bid of 1 bil, much-less the above-quoted 3 tril?

I give you these garauntees:

1. He will not be harmed, either by me personally or by my order.
2. He will be treated as an honoured friend to the Guanyu government and with all possible respect.
3. He will not be forced to leave the country, nor remain in it, against his will.
4. He will be under the official protection of our government for such time as he is within the borders and any who attack him will bear the full wrath of our nation.

Nathicana....THIS IS A JOKE...let me spell it out for you T-H-I-S I-S A J-O-K-E.

Refer to my earlier post on Darwin Awards recipients.....

Nathicana, I do not scorn your opinion or statement at all. On the contrary, I repect your opinion and believe you have a valid concern. I do not agree with you but I do respect your speaking out to make this forum a better RP-ground. I do not normally buy nations in this manner, but I believe that it is a reasonable thing to do AS LONG AS the nation buying does not ignore all financial effects upon their nation.

And yes..I know ALL about the seeling crap on e-bay or PayPal. Happened all the time on DIablo 2 and I hate dit. Now if this were REAL money or REAL rp, then you would have a right to complain. But its not, so please dont..Ive rped for a long LONG time and this is just me messing around. Gah.....some people......

Besides, the pretend negotiations are amusing.... :D

Ignore the typos please...its 2 am here, and frankly, I dont know why Im still up

If there can be "Who Wants to be an Immigrant".....why not this? And if not Regis...hmmm....Alex Trebeck!!!!

We could have a rigged election...and Alex Trebeck would be perfect except that he might die of old age in the middle of the season...

Nah..not a problem...my nation fully supports stem cell research, cloning, and every medical breakthrough.....ever. If I have to make him into a cyborg to do this, I will!

I have a better idea. Just install Trebeck as the ruler, it would save a lot of time.

Oh and if this was all a joke, you shouldn't have given the topic this name or even started the thread, since it is not beneficial to anyone.

The question I must ask then..if I were to make it real is this: How the devil would I get the money?

are you aware that your nation would be unable to afford even your initial bid of 1 bil, much-less the above-quoted 3 tril?

Perhaps you failed to read my latter post about dropping out of the auction... I'll see what I can get from Guanyu.

As regards whether this is a joke...even I dont know anymore. Keep sending the bids, people! THe future of "Who Wants to be a Dictator" rests in your hands!

I assume you mean ICly since I doubt you expect me to ship you 4 trillion dollars in twenties. What I would do is bookmark this thread upon completion to prove that you were paid the money in case you need to spend it later. If anyone says "You don't have that kind of money" post the link to this thread to show that you have x amount more than you otherwise would.

Keep it going if you can with bids..time for me to hit the hay. Ill check back in the morning.

Well if its IC, I would still keep my country (not giving my password of course) according to game ideas, since this is a seperate thread from Crownguard as a country in NS. But you could use it as a province etc, or even ask me to join you region if ya wanted.

And with that revelation I'm done. I withdraw my bid, have fun with it, no hard feelings.

It was good for a lark, which was the idea. Im nto going to sell so fine a country *winks*. Especially when I can just leech more taxes from it.