Lavenrunz
18-10-2003, 08:16
"Good evening, loyal fellow subjects. I'm Max Fersen, and this is the evening news.
In national news: the National Association for Physical Fitness has expressed concern that Porkwich's--Lavenrunz's leading fast food chain--is a major factor contributing to the declining health of the people. The Ministry of Health,in contrast, states that recent studies show that the Big Porker--the piece de resistance of the chain--is an important part of the basic four food groups.
(shows a Ministry of Health official, smoking a big cigar)
"The Big Porker features a tender chunk of smoked pork wrapped in the finest Carlsbad ham, topped with crisp peppered bacon and served on bacon fried pan bread. What could be more nutritious than that?"
On the other hand, an NAPF official has stated that the Big Porker, combined as it is with Lavensoda and mini potato pancakes is a feast of doom for the cardiovascular system.
A poll is being taken to determine the truth of either side. However, F. G. Krug, the President and CEO of Porkwich, is optimistic.
(shows the grandfatherly, cheerful man at his massive estate in southern Lavenrunz, pictures of prize hogs around)
"Porkwich serves billions of happy people. Ask any child in Lavenrunz where they'd like to go for lunch--they'll tell you! Porkwich's! Because we provide them with what they like. What restaurant chain was the first to serve free beer hats for futbol games! Porkwich's! What restaurant chain was the first to serve Dolphinburgers? Porkwich's! And that shows that we have concern for modern ecological matters. You can take it from me. We're not worried."
And in fact in the financial report we'll take a look at how outside investors are taking an interest in Lavensoda and Porkwich's...
In national news: the National Association for Physical Fitness has expressed concern that Porkwich's--Lavenrunz's leading fast food chain--is a major factor contributing to the declining health of the people. The Ministry of Health,in contrast, states that recent studies show that the Big Porker--the piece de resistance of the chain--is an important part of the basic four food groups.
(shows a Ministry of Health official, smoking a big cigar)
"The Big Porker features a tender chunk of smoked pork wrapped in the finest Carlsbad ham, topped with crisp peppered bacon and served on bacon fried pan bread. What could be more nutritious than that?"
On the other hand, an NAPF official has stated that the Big Porker, combined as it is with Lavensoda and mini potato pancakes is a feast of doom for the cardiovascular system.
A poll is being taken to determine the truth of either side. However, F. G. Krug, the President and CEO of Porkwich, is optimistic.
(shows the grandfatherly, cheerful man at his massive estate in southern Lavenrunz, pictures of prize hogs around)
"Porkwich serves billions of happy people. Ask any child in Lavenrunz where they'd like to go for lunch--they'll tell you! Porkwich's! Because we provide them with what they like. What restaurant chain was the first to serve free beer hats for futbol games! Porkwich's! What restaurant chain was the first to serve Dolphinburgers? Porkwich's! And that shows that we have concern for modern ecological matters. You can take it from me. We're not worried."
And in fact in the financial report we'll take a look at how outside investors are taking an interest in Lavensoda and Porkwich's...