NationStates Jolt Archive


The rise of the DNRC.

17-10-2003, 16:33
Hello world leaders. I come before you, not as an insanely intelligent canine, but as the leader of 400,000 Dogbert's New Ruling Class members and their 15 Induhvidual servents each.

I have been many things to my people before the exodus; a guide, a saint, a miracle worker, even a marketing tool to attract more members.

I even have a letter proving that the power and wisdom in me, also is in those Dogbert dolls:

One day I was having problems with my internet connection. I tried everything to fix it, but nothing had an effect. Eventually I put Dogbert on top of the computer and went to bed. The next day, every single problem had been miraculously remedied!

I would like to know if Dogbert can fix other problems, because I have other things that need fixing around the house. Thank you.

I'll answer that question here, since many of you are wondering the same thing.

Yes, Dogbert dolls can miraculously solve many problems in your life. For example, if you know an Induhvidual who is in a bad relationship, suggest he glue a Dogbert doll to the top of his head and keep it there for a few weeks. Before you know it, the Induhvidual will find himself free and single again.

If you live in a cold region, Dogbert can help your car get traction when you're stuck in the snow. Simply tell an Induhvidual that there is a free Dogbert doll under your car. When the Induhvidual tries to find Dogbert, and accidentally comes in contact with your back wheel, jump in the car and floor it. (Tip: For best results choose an Induhvidual with a wool jacket.)

If you have a boss who talks with his mouth full, suggest that he keep a Dogbert doll on his shoulder. It won't help with the open-mouth chewing, but at least you'll have something pleasant to look at when he's talking.

If you're a parent who worries that your Induhvidual teenage daughter might get pregnant, Dogbert can help there too. You might have heard of school programs where students are asked to carry an egg with them everywhere for a week, thus simulating the rigors of parenthood. You can improve on this exercise by having your daughter pretend Dogbert is the father of the child, thus providing an explanation for why the baby is shaped like an egg. Dogbert will play his part as the deadbeat dad, providing no support whatsoever. In fact, he might even try to talk your daughter's girlfriends into having an egg with him too.

Now we have our independece and are gathering new members every day. Soon we shall not rule the world, as originally planned... but we shall become an example of how to properly run a nation and treat it's inhabitants.

http://world.std.com/~tkraemer/Dogbert.gif
His Supreme Highness, Dogbert I
Quote: "Bah!"
17-10-2003, 17:08
We will not be silenced. You will respond.

http://world.std.com/~tkraemer/Dogbert.gif
His Supreme Highness, Dogbert I
Quote: "Bah!"
Kecha
17-10-2003, 17:10
I hate dogs, I'll just post here so someone else can see this.
~Princess Amarante Kushreanda.
17-10-2003, 17:25
Then perhaps I fit your ideals better?

http://www.axis-of-aevil.net/archives/img/2002_04/catbert.jpg
Catbert
Evil HR Director and Prime Minister
Motto: "You can't spell 'Who Cares' without HR."
17-10-2003, 17:48
Not responding is a violation of your job description and will result and immediate repurcussions, via a pointy haired idiot.

http://www.axis-of-aevil.net/archives/img/2002_04/catbert.jpg
Catbert
Evil HR Director and Prime Minister
Motto: "You can't spell 'Who Cares' without HR."
Slutbum Wallah
17-10-2003, 17:50
*Stands in slack-jawed awe of the DNRC*

Gimme a billion dogbert dolls!
17-10-2003, 17:52
That comes to... 50,000,000,000 USD. No we will not pay shipping or accept a check.

http://world.std.com/~tkraemer/Dogbert.gif
His Supreme Highness, Dogbert I
Quote: "Bah!"
17-10-2003, 18:03
The Empire of Fluttergork wishes to trade 15 million bottles of hair gel (guaranteed for making pointy hair) in exchange for 1 million dogbert dolls.
17-10-2003, 18:12
Deal. The dolls have been shipped.

http://world.std.com/~tkraemer/Dogbert.gif
His Supreme Highness, Dogbert I
Quote: "Bah!"
17-10-2003, 18:18
Excellent! We look forward to more trades with the DNRC.
17-10-2003, 18:31
I'm a member of the DNRC ^_^ Glory to Dilbert!
Alcona and Hubris
17-10-2003, 18:33
OOC: As a member of the DNRC in RL I remember when there were less than 100 thousand!!

IC:
Ah, yes the removal of the such annoyances as Individuhals must be a great accomplishment. We hope that we may have a peaceful coexistance with the DNRC and perhaps open negotiations on productive trade agreements.

http://www.eng.auburn.edu/users/donatgw/victoriatiny.jpg
Landgravine Hubris
Interm Consul of the FKC
Slutbum Wallah
17-10-2003, 18:35
That comes to... 50,000,000,000 USD. No we will not pay shipping or accept a check.

http://world.std.com/~tkraemer/Dogbert.gif
His Supreme Highness, Dogbert I
Quote: "Bah!"

Can we uhh... loan you the money?
17-10-2003, 18:42
OOC: It's been long overdue that the DNRC is represented on NS. I've been a member since Newsletter 23 or 24.

IC: The Induhviduals are not removed, we still require them for all tasks that is beneath the Ruling Class. We are a peaceful people, having no military per-say. The best we have is mobs of angry rednecks that are told the enemy killed Earndhardt, put Jeff Gordon stickers on thier cars, tried to ban beer and hate Jesus.

It works out well and is hilarious to watch.

We would enjoy trading with other nations, to spread the word of the DNRC and become a more diverse culture.
17-10-2003, 18:47
That comes to... 50,000,000,000 USD. No we will not pay shipping or accept a check.

http://world.std.com/~tkraemer/Dogbert.gif
His Supreme Highness, Dogbert I
Quote: "Bah!"

Can we uhh... loan you the money?No. An installment plan is fine though. Make 64 payments of 781,250,000 USD and that'll cover it. I'm in a good mood and wont even charge interest.
Alcona and Hubris
17-10-2003, 18:51
OOC: Somewhere in my records I can get back to 11 or 12 if I look.

IC: Appologies, a slip of the tounge, I did mean "removal from any postion of responsiblity" I assumed that you have not allowed any individuhals to stand over the intellgent and sexy members of your orginization. We hope for your success in future endevors, and that you call upon us of any brilliant ideas of your unfeatered Ruling Class may develop.


http://www.eng.auburn.edu/users/donatgw/victoriatiny.jpg
Landgravine Hubris
Interm Consul of the FKC

edit: typos...damn it!
17-10-2003, 19:03
Of course not. We did allow one Induhvidual to get a position of power, but that was just to be a scapegoat for a misunderstanding.

We would be glad to have help in our grand plans, but are working on building a population base at the moment, so that has postponed most of our short term plans and extended our longterm ones.
17-10-2003, 20:25
Bump