NationStates Jolt Archive


Woodchucks for All.

14-10-2003, 23:20
Greetings materialistic dogs!

The bright and wonderful land of Marmonta has decided to come into contact with your grouping of sad, pathetic nations. Our Utopia is guided upon the principles of freedom for all of the furry animals upon our island, especially the welfare of our native population of Woodchucks. Woodchucks, while not sacred, are very well liked here. We do not allow for any corporate development in fear of harm to our prized natural resource of Woodchucks.

By the way, people of the name Chuck are not welcome here. It is a plain and obvious mockery of our prized Woodchucks.

By the way, we are quite keen on low-scale tourism of our Woodchucks, and, to a lesser extent, beavers. Imports of Beaverfeed are welcome, as the woodchuck is our unit of currency. Business here is quite difficult to establish, due to the fact that feeding your own money is quite a costly proposition. Accumulating massive wealth is hard when it gets hungry and have short life-expectancies in comparison to other forms of currency.\

Stay away on our national holiday of Feburary 2nd, the island is off limits on those occasions.

Thank you.
Prime Minister Monax
Belem
14-10-2003, 23:35
Welcome to the world stage Marmonta.

If you want any weapons of any type just tell me.
Scolopendra
14-10-2003, 23:40
Okay... then how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Just curious.

http://www.weirdozone.0catch.com/projects/nationstates/scolopendra/julius_razak.gifAdvisor Julius M Razak
Foot-to-Ass (formerly Defense) Section
Federated Segments of Scolopendra
14-10-2003, 23:45
Leader of Belem...

Your militarism frightens us. We accept you offer for arms, but we assure you we are capable of defending ourselves. Our Woodchucks are adept at digging, if you had not noticed. Much like the Viet-Cong, our defensive tunnel systems, while small and poorly adapted for Human use, can be easily dug to accomodate human-sized people in a matter of weeks.

Thank you for your warm, but strangely blunt, welcome.

May your people and our people, and our peoples groundhogs, coexist from this day forward.

Morax of Marmonta
Aylandlandfive
14-10-2003, 23:46
We would be more than happy to take some of your wodchucks off your hands.
We would release them into our wild and untamed rainforests.

Are they any good at killing trees?

If so, we can pay you 3 billion federals = US3.5 billion dollars.

This must be kept quiet though.
Our Govt is against mining

Sir Happy-Wilikins
Chief Executive
AUMC Ltd
Aylandlandfive Uranium Mining Corp. Ltd
14-10-2003, 23:48
Julius M Razak

Your query is a long and difficult one to answer, but be assured, that the answer is contained within the holy ark of Marmonta, passed down through many generations as a sacred relic and national icon. The answer you seek lies inside this most holy of arks, ungazed upon for countless eons.

Thank you for your interest in our national history.

Prime Minister Monax


P.S: Please adress any specific Woodchuck related questions to Miss Morax, Head of the Council of Woodchuck Relations for Marmonta. Thank you.
Confused States
14-10-2003, 23:52
Okay... then how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Just curious.

http://www.weirdozone.0catch.com/projects/nationstates/scolopendra/julius_razak.gifAdvisor Julius M Razak
Foot-to-Ass (formerly Defense) Section
Federated Segments of Scolopendra

Just HAD to do that line didn't ya? :D
14-10-2003, 23:55
To Sir Happy-Wilikins of AUMC Ltd

Sir, perhaps you are unaware of this, but our native Woodchucks are quite happy where they are. Rainforests are inhospitable to Woodchucks, and make them quite soggy. I am, however, permitting a small delegation of 5 Beavers, 3 male, 2 female, to be loaned to your nation for display in your finest zoo. Any offspring of this delegation may be serviced in the eating and chucking of wood in your national forests.

Morax, Council on Woodchuck Relations.
The Republic of Marmonta.
15-10-2003, 01:24
The Confederacy of Acrena wishes to know if Woodchucks may be viewed as a viable foodsource.

If so, the Confederacy wishes to trade Highly developed technology, in exchange for a guarenteed uninterrupted negotiable supply of Woodchucks.
15-10-2003, 01:39
In no way will the people of Marmonta ever consider the slaughter and eating of Woodchucks, Beavers, or even Wallabies. Our lush environmental paradise has protected and nurtured our Woodchuck friends for eons, and never would we trade them off as foodstuffs.

Consider your requests denied.

Signed:

Prime Minister Monax of Marmonta,
Miss Morax of the Council on Woodchuck Relations,
Sir Canadensis of Department of Defense and Dam Construction.