NationStates Jolt Archive

*General Wide-Band Audio/Video Communication*

A corpulant human with wings and a massive afro beard comes on-screen.

"Hello. Hello? I say, is this contraption operational?"

*Off-screen voice* "Of course, my lord."

"Oh. Very good then. Greetings all. I am Lord Vultan von Osprey of the Hawkmen of Mongo. It has been some time since the defeat and death of Ming the Merciless, and it has taken a while to reorganize my peoples, and reconstruct our cloud city. The war was fierce, and delicious!"

"However, we now find ourselves slightly adrift. I've instructed my general Luro to seek out new locations for our people. In exchange for a piece of land to call home, we offer you our finest wood-chips, a generous insurance policy to cover invasion, natural disasters and the like, and our mighty loins!" With that he makes a slight thrusting motion, making his belly jiggle slightly.

"So what say? Anyone willing to grant some land to an old bird? This has been Lord vultan, over and out. I set the recorder on this infernal device to receive messages."

http://home.earthlink.net/~peterpank/flash4.gif

OOC: congrats on resurrecting the greatest character from Flash Gordon. But WTF! Lord Vultan is crazy. Awesomely interesting and amusing, but crazy. Anyway...

IC: Greeting Lord Vultan from the Cardinal-General of the Dominion of the Falasmayon. The Dominion would be happy to allow you to live in a sector of Falas controlled space. The only problem is that, we have no large oxygen holding gas giants in which to situate you, that are nearby to falasmayon. However, a large gas giant exists in the Hlormar system. This system is part of the Dominion's colonial holding and the local center is called the Colony of Hlormaren on Hlormar II. We could situate you on Hlormar IV, the gas giant of the system for nothing more than a friendship pact, military alliance and perhaps trade agreements. The Dominion is always ready to recieve a new friend.

In the name of Cardinal-General Beauchamp,
Administrator of Foreign Relations,
Dorian Metternicht.

OOC: Ah, you recognized him. Excellent. Heh heh. And I know he's completely nuts. I got tired of playing stiff diplomatic types and such. I want to play someone that will pinch the ass of the ambassador's wife while pouring the ambassador a merlot.

IC: Greetings Administrator Metternicht! I've just received your message, and I must say that it sounds quite appealing! But I must ask...."

With this he looks to either side of him, and leans in close to the screen.

"....are there any ladies around there? Yaa ha haha! What's the point of being a lord if you can't have a little beyond-the-law fun now and then?"

"But I jest. I will wait and see what other responses I may, or may not, get. And then we can talk at greater length. I must admit, all this waiting....what a damn nuisance. Lord Vultan, out!"

Dominaria welcomes you to the international community and would like to invite you to join the Fantasy Nation Alliance, an alliance dedicated to the protection of Fantasy Nations and communities.
Further info:
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=74751&start=140
(see page 1)

As a personal welcome Dominaria will send you a case of seventy year old Keldon Ale.
(WARNING: Dont drink it too fast, as your liver may explode)
Urza Planeswalker, Lord Protector of Dominaria
Founder of Fantasy Nation Alliance
Fantasy Nation Alliance Forum! (http://com2.akheva.com/bfantasynationalliance)
http://boards1.wizards.com/images/avatars/Magic-Urza.jpg

*Screen comes on with the Lord vultan jamming a whole turkey leg down his enormous maw. As he speaks, food comes flying out*

Ah! Greetings Urza Planeswalker! I've talked your offer over with some of my aides, and we've decided it is still too early for us to enter into a formal alliance as of yet. We'll be monitoring the broadcasts around, and see what looks interesting. But feel free to pay us a visit!"

*He seems a bit distracted as one of his 'aides' runs her hands down his wings*

"Whoa ho ho ho! Is it time for the weekly debauchery already? Let me finish and i'll be right in!"

*Vultan turns to the screen again*

"I hope you understand if I must go, but urgent business awaits. Vultan out!"

*tag*

(This is great! I've been waiting for Vultan to show up...)

The Grand Duchy Of Hell Bovines pleasantly welcomes the hawkpeople of mongo to the world. As the interior minister of The Non-Human Alliance, we invite your nation to join us as a member of it. The main pourposes of our alliance are to ensure the welfare and basic 'human' rights to all non-human sentient creatures of the world, adn we will be honoured if your nation joined us in the alliance.
If you are interested, telegram me and i'll give you the password to our region... and, yes, we have nice girls here; well... nice bovine girls :wink: .
Wishing you good luck,

Mooo IV, duque of The Grand Duchy Of Hell Bovines

A groggy Vultan stumbles into his dining room. A massive feast is laid out, looking like a diplomatic reception were about to take place.

"YAAAAAH! Breakfast!" The Lord of the Hawkmen dives into the feast, gorging himself mightily, when his video screen pops up next to him. He views the message from the Duchy of Hell Bovines, food clinging to his beard.

"Spwaaaaat! What is this!? Haven't we said that we're not entering any alliances yet? Biro!"

An older hawkman arrives shortly, obviously just rousing himself from bed. "Yes, my lord?"

"Hasn't it been made known about our stance on alliances?"

"You've only told one or two groups, my lord. You haven't made a general announcement."

Vultan rolls his eyes around. "Hmmmm...yes. What a nuisance. Aaaahh. How would you handle this?"

"With diplomacy and tact, my lord."

"Tact? Rubbish! But we'll try it. Might be good for a laugh! But bovine girls? Really, come now. That's a bit much, even for my appetites!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Return video transmission to the Duchy of Hell Bovines*

"Greetings to you Duque Mooo the Fourth. We appreciate your offer of alliance, but we're not in the position to join any at the moment. Perhaps after we've stabilised our people, we'll take it into greater consideration. But perhaps in the future?"

"Lord Vultan out!"
*Transmission complete*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vultan leans back from the screen, and looks to Biro. "How was that? Was I ... Tactful.... enough?"

"You did fine, my lord."

"Bah! I feel like a wretch now. Where's my wine? Steward! Bring me my flagon!"

Fantasy/SciFi Nation

:shock: :shock:

ROFLMAO

:shock: :shock:

Noo, reeaally ... ?!?

:lol: :lol:

WN

OOC: Well, if you thought it would be obvious by the name, trust me, it isn't so obvious to some. I've been looking at the posts. You have to literally beat things into some peoples heads before they get the hint.

President Takeo Katana listened to Vultan's statements and a grin spread over his face.

"This is a guy we need to meet," he said to his secretary. "Ask him if we can send someone.. appropriate to meet with him. Then call the first college fraternity in the book, and tell them we have the opportunity of a lifetime for them... "

Lord Vultan has received the message from Larkinia.

"Well, hello! You want to send someone appropriate? A fine, busty lady would be appropriate! Har har har har! But I jest, surely. If you can send someone 20 light years from your solar system, then by all means do so! Otherwise, we may be at a bit of an impasse! But not to worry! Steps are being taken to remedy the distance issue as we speak. Hee hee hee HAR HAR HAR HAR!" The message cuts off, with Vultan still laughing in a roar.

Katana listened to the message from Lord Vultan with a grin. If LSS Defiance's jump engines are operational, we could meet him halfway.

"He still hasn't found a a place yet? It might make it a little hard to meet him then, being so far away. But that should give us plenty of time to find the right... ambassador... for the job." he mused.

Vultan sends another message.

"Oh, I forgot to mention that we are located near Proxima Centauri in the Hlormar System. Hlormar IV to be precise. It's a small gas planet with a nice oxygen/nitrogen mix in the upper and middle stratos. The outer-most layer of stratos is hydrogen and helium mostly, so try not to breathe too heavily up there! Ha ha ha! And the Lower Region has a crushing pressure."