The Kibonian Feast Hall
Here is where the Kibonian people meet to feast on the bounty of the beautiful region of Kibonia, and also discuss various poltical stuff. If you don't live in Kibonia, you can still join it, but it's your sanity that is at risk.
LET THE FEAST COMMENCE!
BURP.
The 52nd burninating regiment stands ready to visit Llamalicious for, um, peacekeeping purposes. In the night.
:wink:
Comrade, let's hold off on the burninating until we see if we can help them by... PEACEFUL MEANS.
The Disputed Territories of Baconasia supports the "peacekeeping" efforts of Beable, and will send in 50,000 soldiers (now with KUNG FU ACTION GRIP), armed with Loogatronix Deluxe Lung-to-air missiles and Loogienator 2000 spitball grenades. We will also send in a batallion of Attack Tricycles, Attack Big Wheels, and the 205th Cranky Old Men With Excessive Gas from Eating Waaaaaaaaay Too Much Sauerkraut Regiment.
...and the 205th Cranky Old Men With Excessive Gas from Eating Waaaaaaaaay Too Much Sauerkraut Regiment.
They're our special forces. Besides using excessive flatulance to combat our opponents, their s00p3r s3kr1t is to drive really slowly with the left blinker on, thus confusing and infuriating our opponents into blind road rage. While our opponents are busy yelling at the old men, our Really S00p3r S3kr1t forces come in and slaughter them all!!!!!
MUWAHAHAHAHA - hack hack cough cough - HAHAHAAHAHA - hack hack cough cough hack haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack - HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
More durian pie for you, sir?
BURP
The Confederacy of Conmidhe (CoC) having found life in the Region of Kibonia to be politically tolerable and sometimes even amusing, will pledge 5,000 untrained conscripts to whatever campaign our regional leaders so desire.
These conscripts are clad only in deerskins and armed only with great pointy sticks, some of which have antler tips mounted on them. They will each carry thier own rations of venison jerky and parched corn.
Being a nation of tax hating freemen, we will not consider raising taxes to better equip these conscripts. Rest assured that they be fine hearty lads who will poke the enemy with great zeal. We wish great success on this endeavor.
The great Rogue Nation of Futplex is happy to announce that it is finally in a position to send some fine fighting men and women to help in the peace-keeping mission. Sorry for the holdup; we had funding troubles, but finally the superstore Target was willing to underwrite our divisions, with the understanding that we'd have their logo emblazoned on our army's jackets and hats. So everything should go swimmingly now! What are we doing again?
Also, I'm given to understand that everyone's supposed to get a big-screen television. Does anyone know when they're expected to arrive? Also, how big will the screens REALLY be? I think this is an important issue that has not been explained fully.
More durian pie for you, sir?
BURP
Yes, please. It's so tasty! And how did you ever manage to get the stink out of the durian?
Speaking of which... the Disputed Territories of Baconasiatic scientists have now unleashed the UNHOLY HORRIFIC POWER of the DURIAN ATOM D-333 and are currently manufacturing weapons. Soon, we will conduct tests of this horrible weapon.
MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
This maniacal laugh has been brought to you by Coca Cola! Drink Coke!
The CoC formally announces that they have formed a new alliance with a former sister state, The Armed Republic of ConMeath.
The treaty was signed at noon GMT-6 today and is to last for 4 years with automatic renewals at the end of each 4 year period, unless some incivility takes place like last time.
This alliance will give the CoC ready access to more modern weaponry in exchange for venison, deerskin, and an aphrodisiac made from ground red deer antler.
This alliance will in no way change our previous committment to send conscripts to the Kibonian regional leadership for peacekeeping and/or invasion duty. However, in light of recent developments involving durian stink bombs, we ask that any conscripts who survive this tour of duty be hosed down thoroughly before being returned to the CoC.
The Grand Duchy of Doctroidia pledges 1338 tactical assault doctroids under the command of General Doctroid John "Flabgrot" Flabgrot to whatever peacekeeping efforts Kibonia wages next. Assault doctroids are specially trained in urban combat theorizing as well as hand-to-hand grant writing.
Also we snuck into the UN this morning when no one was looking, and we took a nameplate off one of the doors (it said "Coffee Eminem" or something like that) and stuck our own name up. So far no one's kicked us out.
From: Ul Mannar
Minister of Militaristic Sciences
Ministry of Defense
The Distributed Territories of Baconasia
To: The International Community
Military Scientists of the Disputed Territories of Baconasia have now completed a new weapon upgrade:
The Incredibly Menacing-Looking Thing That Goes Beep.
This upgrade now supercedes the previous model: The Not-So Incredibly Menacing-Looking Thing That Goes Beep, which supercedes the even previouser model, The Really Not Very Incredibly Menacing-Looking At All Thing That Goes Beep.
Statistics:
Name:
The Incredibly Menacing-looking Thing That Goes Beep model number 3.14a
Dimensions:
L x W x H = 1 m x 1 m x 1 m
Weight:
1 KG
Color:
Main Unit: Dull Grey
Button: Bright Red
Features: When the button is pushed, it makes a continuous, extremely loud "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" that persists for one second, repeating every second, until someone either blows up the unit or runs it over with a tank or everyone gets irritated and runs away.
Future models may include: a blinking light, and/or a really extremely loud BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
The "a" model has a square button. The "b" model has a circular button. Because of the extremely involved research that it took to develop a circular button, the cost for the "b" model is significantly more.
Cost (for the International community):
"a" model: negotiable
"b" model: negotiable
(for the governments of Kibonia):
Twenty bucks, same as in town.
Also, I'm given to understand that everyone's supposed to get a big-screen television. Does anyone know when they're expected to arrive? Also, how big will the screens REALLY be? I think this is an important issue that has not been explained fully.
I think you should address The Free Market with this question, as they're the ones who proposed the resolution that you are mentioning, and I'd imagine are the ones who are giving out the free TVs.
From: CoC
To: All members of the Kibonian Alliance
As you know the CoC has an ongoing relationship with the Armed Republic of ConMeath. This relationship consists mainly of a food for weapons trade program. Today, the ARoC began mining Uranium on a limited basis. Because of this development, the CoC now anticipates being able to trade for ever increasingly bigger and badder weapons like objects. Our Department of Science Department has been instructed to begin researching a viable method for incorporating nuclear technology into our great pointy stick weapons systems.
Also, as it is anticipated that we will need greater quantities of food to trade in this food for weapons program, and as it is anticipated that we will have far greater military resources, the CoC has taken a fledgling island nation under Our protection. The government of this state has been crushed and replaced with a puppet government of Our own choosing. This state will henceforth be known as the Protectorate of Conmithe (PoC). In exchange for our military presence and protection we will be allowed to strip them of their natural resources as we see fit. Their monetary system has been changed to match that of the CoC, and a sizeable force of trained conscripts has been put in place to provide security and facilitate the removal of resources to the mainland.
The Rogue Nation of Futplex wishes to announce that it has recently made a great new advance in military technology, and then somehow managed to misplace it. The advance, which would have allowed Futplex to crush all those standing in the way of its nefarious plans, was last seen in a large lead box at 1 Closed Loop in Futplex City. There is a reward for its return.
Found it under the couch. (How'd it get there? Oh well.) Anyway, we'll probably get in touch with all y'all with my maniacal demands, etc., over the next few weeks. Thanks for everyone's suggestions of where to look!
UN MEMBERS! Remember to endorse Leishmania for UN Delegate to make sure that we can't be rolled by region crashers!
In fact, I just endorse anybody who's a UN Member. I'm not sure how that works.
The issue of Uranium mining in a world heritage area was recently raised in my country, seeing as Austria had huge problems with the same issue in Kakadu National Park I turned down their offer.
I dimissed the nudism issue outright as it was a waste of my time.
My country now supports cloning for medical research purposes.
Thanks.
Any reason why everyone is voting against this UN resolution?
Thanks.
Any reason why everyone is voting against this UN resolution?
Thanks.
Some of my reasons for voting against it are:
1) It's based on flong. FUTPLEX NO LIEK FLONG!
2) If we defeat it we all get BIG SCREEN TEEVEES! Doesn't everyone want a BIG SCREEN TEEVEE?
3) The guy who proposed it seems to be kind of a twit.
4) The bill seeks to ban practices not actually in place, and it wouldn't actually prevent anyone from enacting those practices, so it's kind of pointless, but not in a good way.
5) It distracts people from the issue of FREE BEER, which I think we can all agree is what REALLY COUNTS in this world.
Any reason why everyone is voting against this UN resolution?
Thanks.
It uses ROMAN NUMERALS. Bleah!
Also if you take the first letter of each article it spells out "YYYYYYYYYY". Now do you begin to understand????
3) The guy who proposed it seems to be kind of a twit.
He thinks he's hilariously funny by plagiarizing completely unfunny joke resolutions and posting them to the UN, and then gets all defensive and angry when people think his hilariously funny cleverness isn't hilariously funny nor clever. He proposed the CATO acts, which also has that condescending sarcastic completly un-hilarious tone to it.
And he's a twit.
REMEMBER: A VOTE FOR THE "BILL OF NO RIGHTS" IS A VOTE FOR STUPIDITY! BAD-STUPIDITY, NOT GOOD STUPIDITY!
The 'Bill of No Rights' is going to expire sometime today (I hope everyone is looking forward to their FREE TEEVEES!), so soon we'll have to find other things to bug the other nations about.
Since we have a U.N. Delegate (YES I'M LOOKING AT YOU MR. ROUGE STATE OF BEABLE) we should have him move our agenda forward. In particular I had a look at the U.N. proposals currently under consideration and came up with a list of ones we might want to have our delegate endorse. What do the rest of you think?
* Should people be older then 16
* Sentient Rights and Equality
* Electoral Gambling
* Reward and Punishment
* Termination of Pop-Ups Now!
* Legalised street racing
* Revival of a God
* For Great Justice
* Smaller Proposals Proposal
* Metric Weights and Measures
Your obedient servant,
jwgh
I wonder whether I can join the Kibonian Region?
(stuff)
Do we have an EAST PACIFIC SPY in our midst????!?
The Rouge Nation of Beable wishes to announce that it has changed it currency. From now on, all payments will be made in Big Screen TeeVees. Thank you.
From: The CoC
To: Kibonian Allies
Subject: Update on CoC nuclear program
Today the CoC Department of Science Department beagn testing on our new nuclear powered big pointy sticks. Sadly all the test subjects were lost when it was discovered that even the best trained conscript could not throw the nuclear pointy stick far enough to prevent self vaporization on impact.
This is a serious set back, but rest assured that we will prevail in the end. We are looking into the feasibility of nuclear tipped arrows now and have great hopes that this will work out much better.
Please ignore the small mushroom clouds on the horizon, its just us testing our newly aquired nuclear devices.
Anyone plan to follow this rule or is it against the spirit of Kibonia?
Thanks.
There will be no bacon exports this week, as His Esteemed Highness the Pope Emperor Ape Puk had his heart broken today by a gurl. In his anger and misery, he executed the entire Bacon Exporting industry. We apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused. We expect to be up and running again in a few days, as HEHTPEAP has authorized the Bacon Exporting Industry to hire a new force of child labor to replace the executed one.
[OOC: The heartbreak really happened.]
I wonder whether I can join the Kibonian Region?
I do too.
In particular I had a look at the U.N. proposals currently under consideration and came up with a list of ones we might want to have our delegate endorse. What do the rest of you think?
* Should people be older then 16
* Sentient Rights and Equality
* Electoral Gambling
* Reward and Punishment
* Termination of Pop-Ups Now!
* Legalised street racing
* Revival of a God
* For Great Justice
* Smaller Proposals Proposal
* Metric Weights and Measures
The research department of the Doctroidia UN Embassy advises that it is unable to locate the following proposals and speculates that they may have expired or been withdrawn:
* Should people be older then 16
* Sentient Rights and Equality
* Electoral Gambling
* For Great Justice
* Smaller Proposals Proposal
The remaining proposals in the list submitted by Futplex have been reviewed by our State Ministry, which has produced the following evaluations based on the proposals' own merits. Also noted are number of approvals needed and date of end of voting:
* Reward and Punishment -- perhaps (118, 1 Oct)
* Termination of Pop-Ups Now! -- yes (78, 1 Oct)
* Legalised street racing -- oh, yes (110, 2 Oct)
* Revival of a God -- absolutely (120, 3 Oct)
* Metric Weights and Measures -- naah (109, 3 Oct)
All five of these proposals therefore seem to be somewhat quixotic, with the only one garnering any significant support at this time still being 78 approvals short with only hours left to go.
Somewhat more likely to make it to resolution status, with State Ministry evaluations added, are:
* International Space Initiative -- perhaps (35, 2 Oct)
* International Space Station -- perhaps (quorum reached)
* The GenetiCorp Convention -- yes (41, 2 Oct)
We particularly feel Kibonia can only benefit from a widespread human cloning industry, allowing e.g. the perpetuation and proliferation of the genome of Charles Nelson Reilly to occur without let or hindrance. Assuming Charles is agreeable, and we think we can make that happen. Hey, Charles, how are you enjoying your sixteenth viewing of Gigli? Good! Let us know when you're ready to sign that contract I mentioned! No, no, Miss Nelson, that's not part of the message I want you to post to the Feast Hall. And that's not either! Delete everything from "Hey, Charles" on, OK? And post the rest of it. Yes, now, now, what are you waiting for? Sheesh.
* Reward and Punishment -- perhaps (118, 1 Oct)
Yeah, I'm kind of lukewarm on that one also. If nobody else cares I guess we can let it drop or leave it up to the judgement of the Rouge Nation of Beable.
* Termination of Pop-Ups Now! -- yes (78, 1 Oct)
* Legalised street racing -- oh, yes (110, 2 Oct)
* Revival of a God -- absolutely (120, 3 Oct)
* Metric Weights and Measures -- naah (109, 3 Oct)
I won't be happy until I can buy soda by the hectare.
Somewhat more likely to make it to resolution status, with State Ministry evaluations added, are:
* International Space Initiative -- perhaps (35, 2 Oct)
* International Space Station -- perhaps (quorum reached)
I have no objection to these, but don't see them as being particularly Kibological. Also, the Rogue Nation of Futplex already has a Pepsi-sponsored space program.
* The GenetiCorp Convention -- yes (41, 2 Oct)
Doctroidia's argument in favor of the GenetiCorp convention is quite convinced, and I'm willing to jump on this particular bandwagon.
Another couple of new resolutions we might consider:
* TARS [maybe] (119, 3 Oct)
* The Bill of All Rights [check this one out!] (120, 4 Oct)
* Reward and Punishment -- perhaps (118, 1 Oct)
Yeah, I'm kind of lukewarm on that one also. If nobody else cares I guess we can let it drop or leave it up to the judgement of the Rouge Nation of Beable.
Hey, I'll endorse ANYTHING! (Almost)
Why don't people post in here? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ALL YOU PEOPLE?!!!!
SOYLENT KIBONIA IS MADE OF GEOPLE!!!! GEOPLE!!!!!!
Does anybody have any VOTING INSTRUCTIONS for this resolution?
Does anybody have any VOTING INSTRUCTIONS for this resolution?
The Armed Republic of Pielsbourg strongly endorses this resolution. Please work together to bring space travel to everyone, so we don't have to do it ourselves. Then, when we have spaceships we can drop rocks on your heads.
I thought I already knew a lot about fishing, but apparently somebody thinks I need some piscatorial education:
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=73908&start=280
Any reason why everyone is voting against this UN resolution?
Thanks.
On the subjects of UN Resolutions, what's the deal with the out of compliance messages. How many of you are getting notified and what are we going to do about it?
Presiden for Life Wiblur the Once
I got the 2 notes that said the exact same thing as well, probably just trollerization. Anyone can telegram anyone, so I aint worrying about it. Besides, I'll have arrow nukes soon.
Hey, I'm in second place for nicest citizens in the region! Let's all have milk and cookies to celebrate!
I am shocked and appalled that the UN Proposal "Ban Ugly People" has to date received only two approvals. I strongly urge Kibonia to get behind this worthy proposal. Anyway, I've always wanted to visit the Moon.
- Doctroid
I am shocked and appalled that the UN Proposal "Ban Ugly People" has to date received only two approvals. I strongly urge Kibonia to get behind this worthy proposal. Anyway, I've always wanted to visit the Moon.
- Doctroid
DONe! Your moon rocket is practically ready. And I also approved that one about banning the colour "blue" from flags.
Hey, the Rouge Nation of Beable seems to be voting AGAINST the GenetiCorp thing! I thought we LIKED that one! What's going on?
Hey, the Rouge Nation of Beable seems to be voting AGAINST the GenetiCorp thing! I thought we LIKED that one! What's going on?
Doctroidia strongly urges our UN Delegate to reconsider his opposition to cloning.
-Doctroid
Doctroidia strongly urges our UN Delegate to reconsider his opposition to cloning.
Me too.
- Doctroid
Doctroidia strongly urges our UN Delegate to reconsider his opposition to cloning.
Me too.
- Doctroid
Doctroidia strongly urges our UN Delegate to reconsider his opposition to cloning.
Me too.
- Doctroid
Hey, the Rouge Nation of Beable seems to be voting AGAINST the GenetiCorp thing! I thought we LIKED that one! What's going on?
Doctroidia strongly urges our UN Delegate to reconsider his opposition to cloning.
-Doctroid
Oh, I thought we voted against anything TGM proposed! Well if you want me to switch over to the pro-TGM position, THEN THAT'S WHAT WILL HAPPEN! But don't blaem me if TGM gets encouraged by a victory and comes up with hundreds more inane proposals.
SPEAKING of INANE PROPOSALS, can anybody come up with a good "FREE BEER!" proposal?
Oh, I thought we voted against anything TGM proposed!
It's about ISSUES, not PERSONALITIES, you big sissy! See if I every support you again!
Well if you want me to switch over to the pro-TGM position, THEN THAT'S WHAT WILL HAPPEN! But don't blaem me if TGM gets encouraged by a victory and comes up with hundreds more inane proposals.
I think that outcome is sort of assured regardless.
SPEAKING of INANE PROPOSALS, can anybody come up with a good "FREE BEER!" proposal?
I defer to our Austrian delegation here. Except I think that maybe there should be something about American beer not being REAL beer.
Doctroidia strongly urges our UN Delegate to reconsider his opposition to cloning.
Me too.
- Doctroid
M3 T00! D00D!!! 4DD M3 2 UR L1ST!!111!!1!1!11!1!!! D00D!!!11!1!!!@#!$!$#!@$@!$#!@$#!@$!!!1!!1!!!!1111!!
I find the current batch of UN proposals is rife, rife I say, with ideas worthy of Kibonian support:
1. Sex education in schools
[Deserves to be quoted here: "we need to put sex education in schools to let the kids know whatare the best protection methords and bring down teen pregncey and stop the useing tin foil."]
2. Stupid People
[Ugly people all over again, this time for stupid people]
3. LIVESTOCK GAS CONTROL
[Again quoting: "In order to reduce methane pollution levels livestock must be fitted with catalytic convertors. This will also produce an offshoot for the automobile manufacturing sector."]
4. Chippendales, Not Soldiers
5. Nonfamous political leader act
6. The 'Less Guilt' Acts
[Quoting in part: "This resolution will remove the dated idea of secretly voting, and instead pit the potential leaders against each other in a death-match tournament."]
7. No tariffs on Horesradish
8. JOEL!
[Quoting: "i think that joel (thats me) should be voted cool."]
I recommend our Delegate give his approval to all of the above.
- Doctroid
Oh, I thought we voted against anything TGM proposed! Well if you want me to switch over to the pro-TGM position, THEN THAT'S WHAT WILL HAPPEN! But don't blaem me if TGM gets encouraged by a victory and comes up with hundreds more inane proposals.
It looks like he's going to lose anyway.
I recommend our Delegate give his approval to all of the above.
- Doctroid
I approved all them, and "War in Space" as well!
I propose that we as a UN take a look at my veiws we must all prepare for war aganist alien invaders.
Because hey, you can't be too careful.
Oh, I thought we voted against anything TGM proposed!
It's about ISSUES, not PERSONALITIES, you big sissy! See if I every support you again!
Well let's see... YEP! I still have Futplex's endorsement as UN Delegate! HAW HAW!
I made a proposal to the UN to "BAN TAXATION!" and I also started a discussion thread to drag all the ratbags in:
http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=80191
Naturally TGM jumped right in!
I'M HIT!! SHE'S BREAKIN' UP! SHE'S BREAKIN' UP!! I CAN'T HOLD HER!!
EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!
<We have the technology>
<We can rebuild him>
<We can make the world's first... SIX MILLION BEABLE MAN!!1!>
I'M HIT!! SHE'S BREAKIN' UP! SHE'S BREAKIN' UP!! I CAN'T HOLD HER!!
EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!
<We have the technology>
<We can rebuild him>
<We can make the world's first... SIX MILLION BEABLE MAN!!1!>
With a big-screen teevee! For an arm!
And another big-screen teevee! For his other arm!
And a big blank void! For a brane!
It's the SIX MILLION ENGLISH RUBLE BEABLE!
I'm not sure how I became U.N. Delegate, but I will do my BEST to bring the GUIDING PRINCIPLES of Kiboism and Futplexianism to my NEW ROLE.
Anyone have any particular suggestions on how I should vote on the 'No Embargoes on Medicine' proposal currently being voted on in the U.N.?