Bungee Jumping Competition (LANCRE MEMBERS ONLY)
This is the official thread of the 2nd Club Boing-Boing Tournament!!
The Most Excellent Region of Lancre wishes to announce it’s second annual Bungee Jumping Competition. All nations residing in the region of Lancre are invited to join. Sign up will take place on this thread or by TM to me. For those of you who aren’t in Lancre, move there quick and you might get to play
Countries will each send a three person team (along with their associated trainers and concubines, of course). Competition is modeled after the Lancre Cup.
The contest will take 4 days (RL), and will begin on Monday, September 22nd, 2003. Contestants will be judged on the following:
Style: Main points in this category include color of rope, color of uniforms, dismounting strategies, and avoiding wedgies.
Swimsuit: Men and Women teams must wear some sort of approved swimwear, and will be judged on their athleticism and intelligence. Not really, but you get the idea. (Note: Your birthday suit is NOT a swimsuit)
Pick Up: This is by far the most exciting part of the competition. Contestants must be very careful in measuring the rope, because far below you is the ground. And on that ground are thousands upon thousands of intertwined sticks. At the very bottom of your jump, you grab as many of the sticks as possible. 100 points a piece.
Scoring: The scores are decided completely at random by me. As such, I will not be participating.
Sign up to get your names list. I’ll post the heat listings when I have enough.
May the best (or luckiest) nation win!!
The following was TM'd to me from the Fiefdom of Rob Anybody, who can't log into the forums:
My three man team consists of Duft Willie (team captain), William the Gonnagle and Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock. I, Rob Anybody, will be their coach.
Are they allowed to wear Kilts during their jumps and is it necessary for them to wear swimsuits as well?
Permission to have the rope long enough to go right into the midst of the sticks at the bottom, as Nac Mac Feegles have extremely hard heads.
Rob, welcome to Club Boing Boing, your team can wear all the kilts it likes.
Our bungee team consists of four able characters:
Jippo Slaptibak: 80 years young and still with the lads (he refuses to quit).
Fadsawl Taqqa: the prettiest young lady this side of Sirocco.
Xruduuyuigv Kiop: grumpy usually, no one can pronounce his name.
Tha Jynuh: Grumpy too, everyone can pronounce his.
They're willing and able!
What happened to Akkro Fobya? Just as well that he's not coming, really - he drank more than his weight in beer last time, and kept pinching the waitresses.
I know I know... and that disgraceful display on the podium afterwards... dearie me! :oops:
Please! The horses still won't show their faces around town. :shock:
Our team is quietly confident of success. Keeping an eye on the Laru-Tan team this time too... 8)
I think EVERYBODY will be watching Laru-Tan this time. I hope she finally that bikini thing straightened out... :lol:
*winks at Meghana*
Bikini thing? I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. :P
Fluttergork is quite a mouthful, how about I just call you Flutt or Gork or somethin'?
Well, sorry to hurt your fingers. You can call me Roland if you wish. I think I'm the king of this joint.
Can you explain the rules easier to me please
:( :(
Little Jack - you cannot join unless you join the region of Lancre. The rules would be explained to you at that time. *dangles fresh bait*
Little Jack... that's a great name you've got there! :D
So Roland... where in Fluttergork are the bungee jump games being held?
They're actually being held right on the side of the Lancre Megalith, and we're providing accomodation for everyone. Here's a pic of the platform:
http://www.angelfire.com/rnb/gusta/lancrejump.jpg
Put me up for it. I am a good at heights :P :twisted:
Welcome to the nation of Englishman. Gonna be a great contest this time!
DTAS LAND
17-09-2003, 19:05
Hello Fluttergork, my Grand Advisor! If it is alright with you may DTAS LAND have a team in the Tournament.
If you allow me to I will send 3 of DTAS LAND's best athletes. DTASian Cecil "I admire Emperor DTAS" Clifford. DTASiess Shania "Emperor DTAS is wonderful" Gobbleson and DTASian Frank "Emperor DTAS is a decent chap" Parkinson.
DTAS Land is of course welcome, and we look forward to a much more widely attended competition this time.
Hello Fluttergork, my Grand Advisor! If it is alright with you may DTAS LAND have a team in the Tournament.
If you allow me to I will send 3 of DTAS LAND's best athletes. DTASian Cecil "I admire Emperor DTAS" Clifford. DTASiess Shania "Emperor DTAS is wonderful" Gobbleson and DTASian Frank "Emperor DTAS is a decent chap" Parkinson.
Patriotism is of course an admirable thing... in moderation. :wink:
The Laru-Tan Imperial Bungee-Jumping Team consisting of the highly-motivated Mara T'sal, Ngal Dsyan and Rini H'lan (and their motivational dodos and masseurs) will be ready and waiting for the Boing-Boing Tournament. The fact that they are also swimsuit models should not bother anyone.
Are there size requirements in terms of the amount of fabric used for the bikinis?
Can't wait for the bungee jumping to begin
And laru tan we prefer less fabric for the bikini and more skin
Not skin bikinis- we like to see more skin
The crowd was hushed on the side of the Lancre Megalith as the 2nd Annual Club Boing Boing Bungee Jumping tournament was about to begin. Today, the Fluttergorkian judges were deciding points based on style.
The Fiefdom of Rob Anybody got a 7.9 for their bungee ropes, which were made of purple bubble gum, and for their stylish dismount while juggling live lobsters.
The Kingdom of Sirocco got a dismal 6.1 for throwing pieces of Siroccan Cheese to the crowd while they jumped. The cleaning crews are still wiping away the vomit.
Englishman got a 8.2 for their flowing peacock-like hats. But then, a half point was deducted when it was discovered they were using live peacocks. 7.7 final score
DTAS Land amazed the judges and the crowd with their musical instruments glued to their jumpsuits. They played seven Beatles songs for an adoring crowd as they jumped, and were awarded a 9.5.
All eyes were on Laru-Tan’s team, but they showed up wearing demure jumpsuits made of forest green polyester. The judges were expecting a show, and gave them a 7.0 for disappointment.
Extreme Dictators got a 7.5 for all team members jumping on a single rope. The four person team almost made it back to the top, but sadly lost one member.
Seeing as im in Lance can i enter the next compertition?
You can enter this one if you'd like 3pm today is the cut off
Necronz's Team arrived with moments to spare and scored a 6.1 for jumping completely naked. I guess they were in a rush and forgot the suits, but the judges aren't impressed by all that hair flapping about...
ooh gross :(
Apparently the crowd felt the same way :lol:
Thats good at least they weren't a bunch of perverts
Thats good at least the crowd weren't a bunch of perverts
The crowd had doubled for the second day of the competition, seeing as how it was the SWIMSUIT competition. Thousands of people with binoculars held Laru-Tan signs, waiting for that team to arrive.
And the results were:
The fiefdom of Rob Anybody scored a 8.1 for stylish neon green Speedo suits, although they looked a little cold…
The Kingdom of Sirocco scored a 9.1 for their wonderful swimsuits made out of tar and feathers. There was stiff breeze so most of the feather were blown away.
Englishman also tried a feather swimsuit, but the team was attacked by angry falcons on the way down. Luckily, it didn’t screw up their routine at all and they scored a 7.5
DTAS Land also went for the Speedo suits, but unfortunately tied the bungee rope to the suits. They got a 8.4 for the world’s largest and most painful wedgie.
Laru Tan’s team showed up with minutes to spare wearing their regionally famous bikini’s. The crowd offered up a prayer, but the suits stayed on for their jumps. However, after scoring a 9.5 one of the team members flashed the bleachers. The crowd took an hour to get settled down again.
Extreme Dictators broke the rules by intending to jump in their birthday suits, but found some nice suits made of rubber just in time. However, another wedgie was bound to happen and they walked away with a 7.9
Necronz’s team arrived with electric one piece suits that flashed different colored light bulbs. But, they didn’t bring an extension cord so the lights went out after 13 feet of the jump. Final score = a 6.9
Tommorow is the Pick-up Sticks competition.
For our next jump we will be wearing kilts (Anderson tartan). And only kilts.
That will certainly be interesting...
My team will wear GUL wet suits, they got a bit cold last timehttp://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung0903/cool/cool-smiley-012.gif
Delegates
24-09-2003, 17:00
Necronz's Team arrived with moments to spare and scored a 6.1 for jumping completely naked. I guess they were in a rush and forgot the suits, but the judges aren't impressed by all that hair flapping about...
we wouldn't jump naked......would we??
I was so sure that the ol' tar 'n' feahers would work out too... alas it was not to be... :(
Can i kill evereyone else like this
http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung0903/waffen/violent-smiley-014.gif
So that i win
Well, we can't be entirely responsible for over-excited Larutian team members now. We have developed special bikini-esque pick-up-stick apparatuses, we'll see how they go.
Oh, Fluttergork, we need more security details, our ladies can't leave their rooms due to the fans...
The head of security for the games, some guy named Larry, had this to say:
"I apologize for not predicting that fans would swarm your dressing rooms. Unfortunately, our force is stretched a little thin and we can't provide you the security in public that we can in private." Larry smiled.
"But I'm happy to offer a room for all of you at my mansion. We have excellent security and a large grounds area."
"Thank you kindly, but we'll just have to bring in some of our Elite Imperial Dodo Guards for protection. You'll just have to watch where you step"
Larry shrugs his shoulders and stalks off. "I knew it wouldn't work."
Meanwhile in his lair, King Siroc stalked idly in his chamber...
"Jenkins!"
A small man skidded in.
"Yes sir?" he said.
"I wish you to write a telegram to Club Boing-Boing"
"Very good sir!"
"Ask whether anabolic steroids are permitted in the contest... our team have been looking rather peaky."
"OK..."
Jenkins dashed off.
"Ohhhhh Jenkins..." One of the Larutian ladies beckons seductively at him. "Where are you going? Did I hear you say steroids? Wouldn't you rather come play with us than get those nasty drugs?" *opens door to harem*
Alas poor Jenkins was no match for the sexual wiles of a mature Larutian woman.
Jenkins replied, "Waaghh..." and dumbly wondered into the harem...
"Steroids?" King Roland said upon reading the telegram. "Sure. Chocolate and Red Bull are perfectly acceptable."
The next day, the squad of Siroccans bulged...
The Larutian team will probably show up very hyper and ready to bounce due to the inclusion of chocolate as an aid.
Team Captain Lini is missing, and peculiar noises are emerging from our R&R room, I'll have to investigate.
Jenkins got up with a start.
"I can hear footsteps!"
It’s was a fierce competition, and the crowd’s tension leaked onto the competitors. They wiped it off with some tissues and jumped anyway.
And the results of the Pick Up Stick Phase were:
The fiefdom of Rob Anybody showed up wearing very stylish kilts, but unfortunately forgot their underthings, giving the crowd a very…ah…interesting view. They picked up 13 sticks from the bottom of the megalith.
The Kingdom of Sirocco showed up looking much larger than yesterday. Their shoulders, arms, legs, and bellies bulged and small children began to run away from them. One of the team members walked onto the platform, which immediately begin to bend on its struts. A repair crew was called, but the huge Siroccans were so scared they refused to go back on.
Englishman’s team showed up with chainsaws, which seemed a little weird until they jumped and got only three sticks. They used the chainsaws and cut the sticks, which the inebriated judges accepted. 15 sticks total
DTAS Land’s team showed up walking a little funny, but they jumped and picked up an astounding 21 sticks. Go DTAS!
Laru Tan’s team showed up looking very hyper, and sporting chocolate stains on the edges of their mouths. The team leader looked very relaxed however, and led her team to grab a respectable 18 sticks.
Extreme Dictators seemed slightly distracted watching one of the Larutians eating a long chocolate bar, and perhaps that is why they only got 11 sticks.
Necronz’s team arrived a little late, so they had to wear oven mitts on the jump. Punctuality is important to the Fluttergorkians. They made up for it though by grabbing 19 sticks. Way to go!
Tommorow is the Awards Ceremonies. If anybody wants to bribe the judges, now’s the time. Good luck everyone!
Alas... it seems anabolic steroids were only ever meant for one sport... you didn't think Harry Potter got through quidditch with talent did you? :wink:
You could smell beer on the air at the Club Boing Boing Award Ceremonies. King Roland stepped to the stage.
"What a wonderful competition we had! I'd like to thank you all for coming, and also thank the huge crowd for not trashing the place. Without further ado, the results are:
Sirocco - 7th Place
Extreme Dictators - 6th Place
Rob Anybody - 5th Place
Englishman - 4th Place
Necronz - 3rd Place *Get's gift certificate for a free tank of gas*
Laru-Tan - 2nd Place *Get's gift certificate to Victorias Secret*
and first place goes to:
DTAS LAND!!!! *Get's keys to a brand new car*
:D Congratulations Emperor DTAS! ::sends several kiloliters of champagne to DTAS Land:: And congrats to everyone who competed!
Now my team must hurry off and spend their certificate before the ogling crowd kidnaps them. They aren't much good except for bouncing.
The Siroccans were none too happy when the team came back... much chucking of rotten tomatoes... :twisted:
not bad 3rd place for a first time!
Let the saga of the Siroccans be a lesson to us all: "Don't do drugs!"
*walks off camera and lights a joint*
Fluttergofk will you be doing another bungee jumping competition because my team needs a worthy challenge
Extreme Dictators
24-10-2003, 22:18
6th eh?
....oh well we beat somebody guys!
It was worth it, even if we did lose one of our team......