NationStates Jolt Archive

In the news today: President Theodore Lefty McRippa has left the country to attend a celebration in Clangerland, a land with which Famicon hopes to attain diplomatic ties in the future. President Lefty is in Clangerland to celebrate King Trenas' victory in the Clangerland royal elections, and with that his 100th year as monarch (making him the longest serving ruler they have ever had). The nation is also proud to be celebrating its reccent entry into SATO and NATO. President McRippa is accompanied by Sir Johnny Doe and Duke Billy McRippa, the President's brother. An honour guard of 8 Thugs will also accompany him and will work closely with Clangerland Security.
On another note, Billy McRippa, brother of our beloved President, has been knighted as Duke of the Greater Yoshiville Area.

this was the news, we hope you will have an enjoyable evening.

(OOC: http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=62803&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 for Clangerland celebrations)

Tonight on Smartline:
Famicon Oil Tanker The McRippa has had an accident today, when it was transporting oil from privately owned oil fields in Maxxia back to Yoshiville Port. When it allegedly ran into a sandbank, its hull ruptured and it sunk. Luckily, the oil containers were undamaged and nothing has been spilled into the sea.
An anonymous analyst has sent us the message that this might have been more than just an accident, and suggests that Maxxian terrorists are behind this. Wether this is true, and if so, why, is not known to us.

We'll get back to you as soon as we know more.

And now sports: Famous Famiconian Tennis player Violet Barry has won the Draztonian Open in Singles and Doubles, with her Maxxian partner Jennifer Dredd.

This was the news. More about the tanker accident in our late night special, at eleven pm.

And now sports: Famous Famiconian Tennis player Violet Barry has won the Draztonian Open in Singles and Doubles, with her Maxxian partner Jennifer Dredd.

In Draztopolis, the celebration party still goes on, despite both champions allready having returned to their respective countries.

Basil Curry, Regent of Famicon, officially gives Violet Barry the Award of Sport Woman of the Year.

This just in, Seamus Finnerty, Elder High Councellor of Maxxia has given his official statement concerning the accident.

"There were no, I repeat NO terrorists sponsored by the Maxxian governement involved in the accident with the Famiconian oil tanker. The fact that Famicon economically sucks us dry by exploiting privately owned oil fields on our soil does not make us mad at all. Our citizens are not at all pissed off at the fact that the most they can afford for dinner is dry bread and water.
Nor the fact that Famicon's best tennis player can only barely win the biggest tournament in the region thanks to our top player, but she gets all the credit, and most of the money, while our star is left with peanuts. No sir! We are not mad at all!"

Today, a spokesperson of the Famicon Government has given us this message:
"We have never officially spoken of terrorists, and it wouldn't even come into our minds that any terrorists fighting against our glorious republic would be sponsorred by our colony ... I mean NEIGHBOUR Maxxia. We do, however, feel that this lapsus linguae can be interpretted as meaning there are terrorists sponsorred by Maxxia, and as such we have apprehended fifty suspicious Maxxians who will be executed at dawn tomorrow!"

This ends our news special. Be sure to tune in to the live airing of the executions tomorrow.

In the news today: President Theodore Lefty McRippa has left the country to attend a celebration in Clangerland, a land with which Famicon hopes to attain diplomatic ties in the future. President Lefty is in Clangerland to celebrate King Trenas' victory in the Clangerland royal elections, and with that his 100th year as monarch (making him the longest serving ruler they have ever had). The nation is also proud to be celebrating its reccent entry into SATO and NATO. President McRippa is accompanied by Sir Johnny Doe and Duke Billy McRippa, the President's brother. An honour guard of 8 Thugs will also accompany him and will work closely with Clangerland Security.
On another note, Billy McRippa, brother of our beloved President, has been knighted as Duke of the Greater Yoshiville Area.

this was the news, we hope you will have an enjoyable evening.

CACE representative Comrade Dmitri is reported to have said: "NATO and SATO joined? Send a message to Famicon: RE: You smell."

(OOC: that part was about clangerland, not famicon :P)

(OOC: yes, my puppet and arch-nemesis is right :twisted: )

Today, a spokesperson of the Famicon Government has given us this message:
"We have never officially spoken of terrorists, and it wouldn't even come into our minds that any terrorists fighting against our glorious republic would be sponsorred by our colony ... I mean NEIGHBOUR Maxxia. We do, however, feel that this lapsus linguae can be interpretted as meaning there are terrorists sponsorred by Maxxia, and as such we have apprehended fifty suspicious Maxxians who will be executed at dawn tomorrow!"

This ends our news special. Be sure to tune in to the live airing of the executions tomorrow.

Seamus Finnerty replies!
"Oh, so now we're your colony, eh? WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT! Release your prisoners immediately or we will release them ourself. You have been warned."

(OOC: ok, this has moved beyond just news ... I think I'll take it to a new thread... important stuff will still be reported here.)

(OOC: http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=75445 )

Today, the Famicon-owned oil raffinary FNOR or Famiconian National Oil Raffinary has gone up in flames. Firefighters are still trying to put out the immense fire, but specialists fear that they will not be able to put it out. Famicon will have billions of Arki's loss because of this. Though a natural cause is not excluded, the police suspect this to be a terrorist act. It has not been claimed, but Maxxians are suspected.

Regent Basil Curry has publically declared that he will not be intimidated by common farmers and that the executions at dawn will go on at dawn.

Tune in at dawn for a live airing of the executions of fifty Maxxian suspected terrorists! Good clean family fun for all!

We have just spoken with an eye witness and he says "First there was a loud ruckus, then a bang and then I saw a black, unmarked minivan speed away."

The police is checking out every minivan registered in Maxxia.

In related news, Basil Curry has announced that the executions have been postponed until after the peace conference in Draztonia. Also, after having their case re-opened, twenty of the assumed terrorists were deemed harmless and they were promptly flown back to Maxxia. The other thirty are still considered a threat to Famicon.

President McRippa has returned from Clangerland. He will deal with matters at hand, starting with the peace conference tomorrow.

Today in the News: Military spending on frivolous items.

Amongst the purchases made by the military this year, were a few "items" that could be considered redundant by the general public. For example, the department purchased five Borg Cubes, summing up to a splendid 300 Billion Arki, who have recently been delivered and are still orbiting the earth .... as we have no way to get there.

Also bought were 3000 Dragons. The person responsible assures us. "500 of these Dragons will be trained for military purposes. Another 50 will be dispersed amongst the various zoo's in Famicon. 20 will be available for the newly built amusement parc Dragonland, right outside of Utopia City. Another 100 will have nanochips and tracking devices implanted, to study the travelling habits of Dragons in the wild. The rest, some 2430 Dragons, will be let loose in a large Wild Life Reserve, of which a part may or may not be released as a tourist attraction."
He also assured me that all the involved parties have paid their dues, and it's not all the taxpayers' money going down the drain.

In the news today:

From the North of Famicon, the First Infantry Devision has set out on a long, long march. It will explore the far south of Witloof en Spruitjes, looking for other lands to settle on, fullfilling the President's wish to expand the boundaries of Famicon. We will let you know when more things occur.

On another note, the 8000 Dragons ordered from Loklorien have arrived. They will be trained and examined shortly.

Violet Barry has sprain her anckle during practice and won't be competing for the national tennis tournament of Igonia. Experts say that Maxxian tennis player Jennifer Dredd will most likely win in Violet's absence.

The Famicon Yoshis have lost yet another international match.

This was the news, good night!

We interrupt this showing of The Sound of Music for a Special Report!
Today, miners from Koopa Corp. have discovered a community of 5 million Dwarves living under our soil. They are said to be friendly towards Humans and have officially sworn allegiance to Mr. President. We now go back to The Sound of Music. Enjoy your evening.

The Community of Khazad-Famicon, thanks to the good cares of Regent Doe already grown to a population of twenty million Dwarves, have just sent a regiment of one million of their sturdiest warriors to be attached to the Famicon Armed Forces. Their leader, Naìn Hammersmith, has been appointed a General in the FAF.
Expert antropologists suggest that they are able to support such a large army because they have no need for farmers or tradesmen, being economically and politically dependant of Famicon, and as such devide their attention between mining and fighting. Recent figures show that three million Dwarves have started working for the Koopa Corporation in the last three months.

We can attest for the verity of this statement, and are proud to announce that we will send an additional one million Dwarves to assist General Naìn.

We can also state that per the most recent cencus, five million Dwarves are in employment by The Koopa Corporation.

We are proud to announce that Jennifer Dredd has in fact won the tennis tournament of Igonia! In your face, Famiconian losers!

Today, the thirty Maxxian terrorists were taken to Utopia Square and publically shot.

The Koopa Corporation had giant tv screens installed, and all the employees rejoiced when the Maxxian rats were given due punishment.

Us Dwarves do not care. As long as there is mithril and ale, we're happy!

The Free Land of Lunoris has officially and has asked proof for there guild. We feel that the loss of life is a tragedy and could have been worked out differently.

We interrupt the current program for a special news report. It has just come to our attention that a terrorist force, calling themself the MFA or Maxxian Freedom Army, has conquered a Famicon owned Koopa Corp. factory in Maxxia. The official standpoints of both the Famiconian and the Maxxian government are still unknown. We will keep you informed.

An official statement by Elder High Councellor of Maxxia was released to the Famiconian and international press.

"Because of a sorrowful accident, terrorist leader Horace Baldwin has had a chance to escape. Though we condem his actions, we stand by his ideology, and as such will only take measures if Maxxian civillians are harmed."

We have just received word that the 1st Infantry Devision and Naìn's Batallion will be sent to liberate the Famiconian factories.

The Koopa Corporation has just announced their new daughter-company, INTEXICorp. More info later.