NationStates Jolt Archive

*static*
*all Resi stations across the world tune to one signal*
*the following appears on almost every TV on NS Earth*
http://www.angelfire.com/ns2/corporateislands/cibackgrnd.jpg
*the words "JOIN US!" flash onscreen for 0.0001th of a second*
*a friendly voice begins to talk, and happy images such as children smiling or some random n00b being nuked appear onscreen superimposed over the logo*
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, come on down to the sunny and tropical Corporate Islands region and have worlds of fun, free of those dirty, rotten, and downright oppressive communists. Who likes them, anyway?"
*the following image appears, covering the logo, and then dissappears slowly*
http://www.fortunecity.com/meltingpot/redriver/415/papakarl.gif
"See? Communists are lazy too, with all that laying around demading workers rights and storing food in giant mushrooms and the like. But enough about them, let's talk about us. We are a region of extremely caring and wealthy nations. Everyone who lives here is extremely happy, due to things like product avialibility and cheapness of goods. Just check out this picture of some avarage Corporate Islanders!"
http://www.cba.nau.edu/images/degreeprograms/grad/newasofsept152000/happy%20group.jpg
"Don't they look happy? That's because they live in the land of the GDP! Now, here is a shot of some people who have fallen to an undesirable system of government. We suggest you turn your children away from the TV at this time."
http://www.webcenter.ru/~posevru/nomer/ne01/ne106/stalin.jpg
"If you aren't with us, you are helping them. For the sake of your children and all those you love and hold dear, do NOT let the world fall into the hands of these depraved lunatics! That is all. Thank you, good night, and god(s)/goddess(es) bless."
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT BY
http://www.angelfire.com/ns2/resicorporation/rcforum.jpg
*TVs return to their regular programming*

<looks at TV, swears>

"I thought we fixed this damn thing!" President Reagan yelled

"We'll get right on it, sir!" the techniciain replied

<sighing in frusteration the President turns off the TV for a good back massage>

Um . . . Okay, and I thought I had too much time on my hands . . .

Um . . . Okay, and I thought I had too much time on my hands . . .OOC: Hey, everyone has a little time for some propaganda! Wait, oops, did I say that out loud? I ment "informative programming"... :oops:

Um . . . Okay, and I thought I had too much time on my hands . . .OOC: Hey, everyone has a little time for some propaganda! Wait, oops, did I say that out loud? I ment "informative programming"... :oops:

LOL! :lol:

I see . . .

The short message has already received outstanding ratings throughout the Santa Barbara, Isla Vista and Montecito areas. Profits are going up. This pleases me.

Bob Pratt, CEO
PCC

OOC- LOL! I'm almost tempted to join your region!

See my thread... http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=54339

*runs the message again*

Prime Minister Maximillian Bjorn finishes watching the commercial. Leaning outside his office, he summons his secretary. "Marie, get Gordon Newell here." Soon Foreign Minister Newell is seated in front of the Prime Minister's desk. "Gordon, take Resi Corporation TV off the Oglethorpian airways until further notice," he says, the same commercial playing on the other side of the room.

"Until it isn't so full of...crap."

"For lack of a better word."

Prime Minister Maximillian Bjorn finishes watching the commercial. Leaning outside his office, he summons his secretary. "Marie, get Gordon Newell here." Soon Foreign Minister Newell is seated in front of the Prime Minister's desk. "Gordon, take Resi Corporation TV off the Oglethorpian airways until further notice," he says, the same commercial playing on the other side of the room.

"Until it isn't so full of...crap."

"For lack of a better word."OOC: A little problem with that. This wasn't just the Resi Corporation's TV channel (although the reception was best on it), it was every TV channel the world over. Cutting off Resi TV won't stop stuff like this from happening.

OOC: Orwellian, if you ask me... What was it again, the Two Minutes' Hate? :?

Well, I would join up, but the principality is kinda committed elsewhere when the call comes.

Well, I would join up, but the principality is kinda committed elsewhere when the call comes.That is fine, you can remain an ally of the Corporate Islands even if you travel elsewhere. Normally I don't do this, but I've seen how well you RP, so I'm willing to make an exception.

Queen Cora turns off the TV. "If we ever need our country promoted, I know who to go to, Resi Corporation."

"What?" Prince Daniel pokes his head into the room. "Resi Corp...Oh, yes. Met their leader, I believe, good chap, good chap." Continues his a walk down the hall.

Well, I would join up, but the principality is kinda committed elsewhere when the call comes.That is fine, you can remain an ally of the Corporate Islands even if you travel elsewhere. Normally I don't do this, but I've seen how well you RP, so I'm willing to make an exception.

Thanks. I'm sure you understand what I meant by, when the call comes.

Do that again and we'll slap your incoming goods with a 5% tarriff. And if you use Papa Smurf again -- a registered trademark of Nyacom, a Jay Cutter Corporation -- we will take the matter before an international tribunal.
--Jayson Biggs
Department of Justice
Assistant Attorney General, Intellectual Property

"I don't think it worked for us, Wilson.
Obviously the WBC is too powerful for them." Stated PM Mainwaring, peering into his tiny black and white set.

"Quite, sir.." His deputy replied.

"..or else our little network isn't capable of picking up anything from more than twenty yards" He quietly added, prompting a scowl from the Prime Minister.

Do that again and we'll slap your incoming goods with a 5% tarriff. And if you use Papa Smurf again -- a registered trademark of Nyacom, a Jay Cutter Corporation -- we will take the matter before an international tribunal.*sigh* I'm sorry, but I'm protected under the Copyright Act of 1976. As for the tariff, that might prove more harmful to you than it would be to us. If you were to tariff our goods higher than 7.5%, we'd simply embargo you and watch your country writhe economically. Or, if we were feeling perticularly nasty, we could cause your markets to crash by declaring a Corporate Islands embargo, but that would just be mean. :wink:

*BUMP*

*BUMP*

Is this region relatively peaceful?

Frankly our attitude towards Communists is that we are willing to sell them rope even while they are threatening to hang us. Business is business. Why go to war with socialism when you can simply out perform them economically?

Well, our region is generally peaceful, but several nations have been called into action to defend fellow regional members. As for the communists, we generally do what you have said, but our country personally is hostile to communists sense one of them assassinated our leader.

*the Empress is distracted momentarly by her TV set on in one of the cornors. She glances at Jai and smnirks then returns to looking out over the balcony*

Perhaps I'll join a region -after- I'm married... or perhaps I might start my own

*She ponders this for a bit*

Hmmm... so does that mean you are going to marry Jai? :D :mrgreen: :D :mrgreen: :D

Hmmm... so does that mean you are going to marry Jai? :D :mrgreen: :D :mrgreen: :D

well dear... your still in the running. That's all I'm saying about it

*smirk*

well dear... your still in the running. That's all I'm saying about it

*smirk*Fine... leave me hanging...
*pouts* :cry:

well dear... your still in the running. That's all I'm saying about it

*smirk*Fine... leave me hanging...
*pouts* :cry:
*snickers*

there are worse things I could leave you doin' :wink:

*snickers*

there are worse things I could leave you doin' :wink:Don't remind me...
:cry: :cry: :cry:

BUMP

Just out of curiosity, what is it you do to socialists? We experiment on them, and when done inject them with Chaos virus and watch them thrive and turn into spawn. (Rasputin Macchiavelli was a socialist, you see.)

*Direct from Sebytanian Government House*
Defence minister Vladimir Strenovska: "Hey what the... Bring me the damn car! Now!"
Corporal Novak: "Sir... Your car is in the wash..."
Strenovska: "Silence! I want my chopper!"
Novak: "Sir yes sir!"
Captain Volga: "Sir, your chopper is ready to depart."
Strenovska: "Okay, to the Segety area 2 zone bravo 3!"
Volga: "Moving on."
*After 30 minutes*
Strenovska: "Aww why couldn't you fly faster, captain?"
Volga: "We are here sir!"
Strenovska: "Okay. Hey you there! Yes you! Tell the SO troops to inprison every immigrant who came from Resi Corporation! What are you waiting for? Move, sergeant!"
*The Spetsial Operatsion troops take all Resi Corporationians to Segety Military Prison and kill 75% of them*

Info-Tec Headquarters (Drako Throne, Drakonian Imperium)
Info-Vid Control Room

One of the Technicians lifts his head from the computer moniter and glances over at his superior. "Sir, we've got an attempted hack coming through our satellite network on all our tv channels."

The supervisor stand from where he was slouching in his chair, bored. "Block it."

"Having trouble, Sir. Our Anti-Viral and Firewall programs are fighting, but its break through in global network. I've got confirmed hacks in all Info-Vid connected nations, but the Drakonian Imperium. Looks like the Imperiums filters blocked it." He looks perplexed.

"Counter it. Damn it! We can't be hacked like this." The supervisor turns to one of the other technicians. "Shut down all global networks, but the Drakonian Imperium. We won't be hacked." He turns to another technician. "Get me a trace, now." The Supervisor slumps back into his chair and picks his cell phone off his belt, slowly dialing and then put the phone to his ear. "We have a problem. Someone's hacking our systems."

With a short time the entire room is a buzz with activity in seconds it begans to fill even further as more technicians and soon corporate management began to arrive to help and find out what is going on.

"Sir, I am having a problem tracing, but I just got a copy of what appears to be a broadcast they are trying to force through." One of the techicians yells over the din of conversation in the room.

"We are still having problems with global and now even the Imperium is experiencing problems. Looks like their filters are shutting down all external feeds and trying to piggy-back a virus back to the source of the hack. It trying to feed, but I can't seem to shut down the global." Another technicians yells.

"Damn! Get me a trace I want whoever this is found!" The supervisor roars back angrily. "Well, it you can't do from here. Call them up and shut it down manually. I don't care if they have to cut the bloody power to half the world to do it! Just shut it down!"

Beside him. One of the managers is watching the broadcast over the shoulder of a technician. "This is most unsettling. Look at that advertising. Full of proganda and subliminal messages."

Another of the business executives speaks up, talking to an assistant. "I want you to get our lawyers ready. I think the broadcast tell us everything we need to know about who is doing this. Time to sue their asses for everything they've got."

"The broadcast is starting." One of the technicians yells. "Looks like half are network is down now. So it's only getting through on the other half. Our people are manually shutting that down." There is a long pause before he adds. "Looks like the Drakonian Imperium scrambled the feed on their end."

Another of the business executives turns to an associate. "We need to try and get whatever the Imperium's government is using. We can't let someone hack us like this."

"Sure we do, but have you ever tried to get anything out of that goverment." His associate responds. "They only give you second rate material and they keep all the latest stuff for themselves. They want to make sure they have the best of everything."

Meanwhile on the other end of the room the corporate manager is on his cell phone to Info-Tec's lawyers. "Yes, I want to get this..." He puts his hand over the phone and turn to a technician. "What did you call it?"

"Resi Corporation"

The corporate manager puts his phone back to his ear. "Resi Corporation. I want you to sue them for everything they are worth. Get them for piracy, loss of profit, damage of property, terrorism, industrial espionage, and anything else you can think of. This could cost us millions, billions even. I want them destroyed!"

The supervisor still slouched in his chair, stands again. "Status Report," he orders.

"The entire global network, except the Drakonian network is manually shutdown." One technician responds.

"I've got confirmation, looks like it was sent from some Resi Corporation computer." Another technicians says.

"We have documentation of everything. Saved, Backed-Up and Copied. Including the broadcast." Someone else voices in.

"The broadcast and hack have ended." The technician that discovered the hack states.

There is long silence as the Supervisor thinks everything over. He paces for a second, with all eyes in the room, excepting a couple of the distracted corporate executives, looking to him. Finally he responds. "Reboot, then scrub everything and give me a cold restart. Wipe the system clean and start it from scratch." The technicians get to work as he turns to one of the men standing in the room. "This is going to be a long night so get everyone in here. We've got a lot of work to do." He grabs his coffee mug and heads over to the coffee machine.



Grand Praetorian Palace (Drako Throne, Drakonian Imperium)
Praetor's Living Quarters

"I demand to know what has happened to the my tv," the Praetor of the Drakonian Imperium roared at the Director of the Department of Social Services.

"Well, Sir, it appears Info-Tec's Info-Vid was hacked. They are now shutting it down and rebuilding it to make sure there is no damage," the director responded keeping his voice low to try and calm the angry Praetor.

"Well, why didn't your television filtering system stop the hack?! That is what they were supposed to do?! Right," the Praetor roared back.

"They did in the Imperium, but the hack appears to have succeed to break in the Info-Vid in some of the other Info-Tec customer nations." The Praetor was starting to annoy the Director, but he would be thrown, literally, out of the palace if he let that on.

"I wanted to watch the new episode of "Dark Angel" that was suppose to be on tonight. I do not like my television viewing to be interrupted. Do you know who did this?" The Praetor was calming down, but he was still angry.

The Director opened the file had brought with him. "Resi Corporation. Looks like they broadcasted some propaganda promoting the Corporate Islands."

This perked the Praetor's interest. "Corporate Islands is that not where the are enemy the CoVar Corporation is headquartered?"

"Yes, that where CoVar has it's headquarters."

There was a noise of disgust from the Praetor and then in a disgusted voice, "Do we do business with this Resi Corporation?"

The Director looked in his file again before responding. "Not much, if any."

"Well then, embargo them and send word to the other Emirates to try and get them to do the same. I want them to pay for this violation of my tv viewing! Also, I want this Resi Corporation listed as a protential enemy of the United Emirates. And, Director..." The Praetor gives his voice a little menace to alloy it known the seriousness of what he is about to say.

"Yes, Praetor."

"Contact, Info-Tec and make sure. Absolutely, sure! This does not happen again." With that the Director leaves. Leaving the Praetor to return the lounge on the couch next to his Queen who sits reading a fashion magazine.

The sound of restrained laughter is heard for a second from her. A smirk appears on the Praetor's face. "And what do you think is so funny," he asks.

She puts down her magazine. "You," she smiles.

"Me?" An eyebrow raises and the Praetor's smirk increases.

"You lets yourself get worked up over the littlest things sometimes," she says moving close to him.

"They will pay dearly, for making me miss my show," He says, playfullness toward her and menace toward Resi can be heard in his voice.

CRO Edward Black: Now, can you do anything?

Media Man: Um, no sir.

EB: Men? Take him to the war labs. And begin rounding up Resi Corp citizens. One of them must know how to fix this.

Military Police: Yes, my CRO!


*Edward Back turns back to the tv. His computer is also displaying the same image*

EB: If something isn't done soon, I might press this purple button.

Using NSMT (NationsStates Multiverse Technology "Godmodding at it's best") a live feed from the distant planet Earth flashes across a few screens in Biotopia and the planet Felix.

Chancellor Afra sat on the imported IKEA couch (direct from Switzerland) just past local midnight, another late night as his mind slowly diffused thes stress of the day. Suddenly 'Marx Smurf - The Musical' was interupted and for a few minutes he was bombarded with Resi Corporation designed and patented advertising subvertisation.

When the screen returned to the normal program and Marx Smurf began to belt the song 'O what a lovely way to work' Chancellor afra smirked at his own thought "Wankers" and watched the rest of his movie until he fell into a gentle sleep dreaming he was throwing out the Royal Smurfs form Smurfville.

Do that again and we'll slap your incoming goods with a 5% tarriff. And if you use Papa Smurf again -- a registered trademark of Nyacom, a Jay Cutter Corporation -- we will take the matter before an international tribunal.*sigh* I'm sorry, but I'm protected under the Copyright Act of 1976. As for the tariff, that might prove more harmful to you than it would be to us. If you were to tariff our goods higher than 7.5%, we'd simply embargo you and watch your country writhe economically. Or, if we were feeling perticularly nasty, we could cause your markets to crash by declaring a Corporate Islands embargo, but that would just be mean. :wink:

:evil: :evil: I see you did not take to our warning. You are correct in that a Corporate Islands embargo would harm our economy. I think that we have sufficient trade links to weather an embargo from just you, though; otherwise I would not have suggested a tariff as an option. We are also quite aware of the pitiful state of disrespect for International Intellectual Property. But so long as his face remains on the Wall of Leaders in Prospect Park,
http://www.jewhoo.com/smurf.gif(actual size 2 feet tall)
know that you are disrespecting our native culture and our laws. We trust that this conflict shall not arise again.

*blink blink*

uh-oh... there goes the neighborhood.....

Janey Ravenhurst
Press Secretary
Empire of Eris Kallisti

*AHEM*
It has come to our attention that some or you are less than satisfied with our work. That is why I'm willing to offer an out-of-court settlement.

In short, I give Drakonian Imperium, Jay Cutter, and Roania $1 trillion each to forget that any of this happened. I can more than afford this (due to revenue from "Honest Jai's New and Used Nations Dealership"), and all cash will be payed up front.

Is this acceptable? :)

*AHEM*
It has come to our attention that some or you are less than satisfied with our work. That is why I'm willing to offer an out-of-court settlement.

In short, I give Drakonian Imperium, Jay Cutter, and Roania $1 trillion each to forget that any of this happened. I can more than afford this (due to revenue from "Honest Jai's New and Used Nations Dealership"), and all cash will be payed up front.

Is this acceptable? :)

*Scratches forehead, frowning*
*Pulls out calculator*
Let's see, $1 trillion, that's 500 billion Subway Tokens, divided by 663 million citizens ... 754.15 each....
*Smiles and nods*
I think that we could convince the Senate to approve this, yes.

*AHEM*
It has come to our attention that some or you are less than satisfied with our work. That is why I'm willing to offer an out-of-court settlement.

In short, I give Drakonian Imperium, Jay Cutter, and Roania $1 trillion each to forget that any of this happened. I can more than afford this (due to revenue from "Honest Jai's New and Used Nations Dealership"), and all cash will be payed up front.

Is this acceptable? :)

Grand Praetorian Palace (Drako Throne, Drakonian Imperium)
Praetor's Audience Chamber

"He giving us what," the Praetor burst out.

"$1 Trillion Dollars, Praetor," the Director of Social Services repeated.

"Well, then consider it forgotten, and Director?" The Praetor made sure he had the Director's attention. "I expect that enough of that money will be used to make sure this never happens again."

"Yes, Sir." There was a short pause as the Director turned to leave. "Uh, Praetor?"

The Praetor turned from where he stood rifling through the latest Asterix Comics looking for something to read. "Yes."

A smirk appeared on the Director's face. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

*snickers*

Money solves so many problems :wink: 8)

*snickers*

Money sloves so many problems :wink: 8)Or "Ignorance is bliss." :)

See? There are TWO morals to this story! :D

*static*
*the words "JOIN US!" flash onscreen for 0.0001th of a second*


OOC Given that 1 Frame of Normal TV only last .03 seconds your "JOIN US!" would need to be on 300 Times Longer just to have 1 Frame drawn. :)
IOW you may of gotten 1 raster line if you have a HDTV :)

OOC Given that 1 Frame of Normal TV only last .03 seconds your "JOIN US!" would need to be on 300 Times Longer just to have 1 Frame drawn. :)
IOW you may of gotten 1 raster line if you have a HDTV :)OOC: Yeah, I forgot the framerate of a TV and was too lazy to look it up. :P

Emperor Merefrost is startled at the reports coming in from across his land about the television being hijacked. He later calls a meeting of the royal court to discuss how to deal with this invasion of their nation's airwaves.

Emperor Merefrost: I call this emergency session of the Frostguarde Royal Court to order. The topic today is how to deal with this deliberate propaganda forced upon us by the Corporate Islands and the Resi Corporation.

The court continues on for a while discussing various paltry forms of action. The Emperor seems distracted the whole time until the Minister of Commerce Alara speaks up.

Minister Alara: Milord is something wrong? You seem highly distracted, have you heard any of our suggestions at all?

Emperor Merefrost: Yes something is wrong Alara. The truth is I don't WANT to try to punish the Corporate Islands.

Various grumbles of displeasure are heard throughout the room. Most along the lines of "Now he tells us."

Minister of Defense, Lord Vajh: Sire if you do not seek to punish them why do we sit here wasting time?

Emperor Merefrost: I have been troubled for some time now about our nation's standing in the international community. We are unknown! We have shut ourselves away for thousands of years hidden from sight at the roof of the world. For goodness sakes we had the Armada shoot a boatload of immigrants out of the water to keep Frostguarde isolated. I want this to change, we need to step forward and show our glory with the rest of the world!

Minister Vajh: Umm, why?

Emperor Merefrost: BEAUSE I AM EMPEROR AND THAT IS HOW I WANT THINGS! Our region is forgotten we need to move on. Perhaps we should seek alliance or even move to the Corporate Islands.

Minister Alara: Sire we aren't run by a corporation though!

Emperor Merefrost: This is true, but we have been pro-business for a long while. Frostguarde's economy is frightening and our corporations are strong here. Perhaps if we talk Resi would consider allowing a monarchy into the region. If not then to hell with them, I will not give up my crown.

We should speak with the Resi Corporation about this. I want communications opened soon.

All Ministers: At once milord.

-----------------------------------

OOC: Ok that was too long perhaps. Basically I actually would like to move to the Corporate Islands. My nation needs a change, I'd like to become more involved with NS. There is a problem though, my nation is not run by a corporation. The government is a monarchy, but my nation is very pro-business and the economy is ranked as frightening. Our UN classification is also Compulsory Consumerist State, don't know if that matters.

OOC: Your classification matters, as I am considering a mass-exodus of all three socalist nations in the region. However, your nation meets with our approval as it is home to multiple corporations, and your UN Category is acceptable (my nation was like that a while back).

*AHEM*
It has come to our attention that some or you are less than satisfied with our work. That is why I'm willing to offer an out-of-court settlement.

In short, I give Drakonian Imperium, Jay Cutter, and Roania $1 trillion each to forget that any of this happened. I can more than afford this (due to revenue from "Honest Jai's New and Used Nations Dealership"), and all cash will be payed up front.

Is this acceptable? :)


EB:It will pass. I wasn't considering court, I was considering forgetting our long and valuable friendship and dropping ebola into your waterways. I'm missing Pinky and the Brain! And my son (See new thread) is crying, I don't need this!

Heh... good luck with the ebola, our water is infested with anti-bacterial nanites until our taps filter them out.

EB: Please, just make it so I can watch Pinky and the Brain! Dean always laughs at me because I miss it, and if he misses it too then he sulks for hours! Please!

Lucy: Edward?

Edward: Yes dear?

Lucy: Stop yelling at the nice man from the Resi Corporation, and help me with Alex.

Edward: But, honey, we have servants for that.

Lucy: Edward...

Edward: Yes dear.

We have one of our hackers send pirat... er, "shared" versions of every episode of Animaniacs as a baby shower gift.

That's right, it's for the "kids" (wink wink nudge nudge). :wink:

This is still going on? :?

This is still going on? :?Errr... no. Only the time that I first posted this, and the time when I said that I aired it again. Hasn't happened for days.

Dean: Since his almighty RCOness has gone off to be a dad, I'm here. Um, how much do I have to pay for you not to send it to him? I want to be the only one! And soon, I will have seen more Animaniacs then Edmund Hyacinth!

Edmund: Oh no you won't, you treacherous cur!

Dean: Who are you calling a cur, you closet socialist!

CTO (I got a new one, finally! And yes, she is a woman. I was grateful for anything) Lilian Mclean: Boys! Stop this arguing!

Edmund/Dean: Yes, Lilian.

*After they leave, Lilian leans down and whispers into the transmitter*

Lilian: I'll pay you $5000 to send me all copies, but wait until christmas. You can help the kids and Corporate Family out by sending some cribs and things. The ones we have are so... twentieth century.

Lilian: I'll pay you $5000 to send me all copies, but wait until christmas. You can help the kids and Corporate Family out by sending some cribs and things. The ones we have are so... twentieth century.Deal! Buuuut I can't exactly deny the "kids" a present, so I'll just make a copy for "them".

As for the cribs and things, what'dya expect us to make? Hover cribs and Plasma-rattles?

...actually, that "hover-crib" idea isn't half bad...

Could be a nice money maker. But, in the grand tradition of our country's rivalry for this type of thing, I claim it!

*Sadly, Resi's spokesman said it first by a fraction of a second*

Damn. Yes, that will be fine. Thank you.

*20 meters under the cold wilderness of Seberia, in a labour camp's tor.. prisoners' discussion dungeon*

Colonel Vsjalenko: "Well well well, here we have a Resi Corporationian. You surely want to tell us what the hell is going on there, as we got hacked by those bastards?"
Michael Brown (a citizen of The Resi Corporation): "First, don't call my country's citizens bastards. Second, i wouldn't tell you anything, even if i would know anything."
Colonel Vsjalenko: "Sergeant! Turn on the electricity to level 1!"
Sergeant Kalinin: "The electrics are online, sir!"
Michael Brown *tries to squirm out of the chair he's locked to*: "Ouch! He he.. It tickles.. Aww.."
Colonel Vsjalenko: Kalinin, let's put a bit more for our honored guest!
Kalinin: *Smiles cruel* "Buahaha.. My pleasure, sir! It's now level 4... Ha ha ha!"
Brown: "Awww... Crapp.. I can't even feel it.. You bastards.."
Vsjalenko: "Well, sergeant, let's put it to level 9."
Kalinin: "Yes, sir."
Brown: "Aaaaaaaaaargh!!! Stop it for god's sake!"
Vsjalenko: "I see we have enough power.. Well, my friend.. Do you have anything to tell us? If not, we'll raise power so you won't get too cold."
Brown: "Noo! Don't! I'll tell you the thruth! Just turn this thing off!"
Vsjalenko: "Well, Kalinin. I see we have done enough. Turn it off."
Kalinin: "But sir.."
Vsjalenko: "That's an order, sergeant!"
Kalinin: "Sir yes sir!"
Vsjalenko: "Now, tell me what you know, Brown!"
Brown: "I already said: I know nothing about The Resi Corporation News!"
Vsjalenko: "Sergeant... Turn the power to level 20."
Kalinin: "Sir, i think that's too much..."
Vsjalenko: "I don't care what you think! Turn it on... NOW!"
Kalinin: "Yes sir!"
Brown:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
Kalinin: "Sir, the batteries are empty."
Vsjalenko: "I see.. So are our prisoner's "batteries" too. Next please!"

Roanian Stormtroopers have just burst into the camp, killed the guards, and taken the prisoners to the Roanian Inquisitorial Building.

Chief Inquisitor: How do we fix the tvs?

Resi citizen: I don't know.

CI: Wrong answer. You die now.

:shock: sometimes we're glad we're not in space... though we wish we could help ya Resi *blink blink... eyes nation's new space program* ..... urg....

It might be a little late to tell all of you this, but nothing was wrong with the TVs. We simply hacked the satelites of all major broadcasting companies. Nice try, though. :D

As for Mr. Brown, our records show that he was a lousey worker who mooched off of his wife and who never returned from his trip to Sebytania. His wife did, though, with a rather handsome Sebytanian man who later became a Resi citizen.

In other words, he didn't do that much work, so no harm done to us. :P

:shock: sometimes we're glad we're not in space... though we wish we could help ya Resi *blink blink... eyes nation's new space program* ..... urg....Yep, those UMO's are gonna be LOTS of "fun". You gotta wonder where they all come from, though... :wink:

That Mars thing is gonna build up to something big. Well, that combined with other Mars-related things.

OOC: As for me, I'm gonna catch some Z's. G'night, ya'll!

OOC: Ok that was too long perhaps. Basically I actually would like to move to the Corporate Islands. My nation needs a change, I'd like to become more involved with NS. There is a problem though, my nation is not run by a corporation. The government is a monarchy, but my nation is very pro-business and the economy is ranked as frightening. Our UN classification is also Compulsory Consumerist State, don't know if that matters.

OOC: The United Emirates is always looking for good RPers. *Hint, hint* We would be honored if you would join us, but think it is too late. So, congradulations, Resi, on getting to the recruiting first. Also, thanks for the dough. A small portion of it was spend remodeling one of the Praetor's Living Rooms to have it's own small OmniMax Theater system (think giant curving/arcing theater screen that is a semi-curcle around you with full surround sound). :mrgreen:

Mindsettian International News Network

MINN HQ - Several nations have reported subliminal propaganda messages being broadcast over television equipment. Due to this, large amounts of Mindsettian citizens are concerned over the safety of viewing TV.

We have an official report from the Mindsettian Military Technological division:

We have no need to worry about the safety of Mindsettian broadcasts. The reason is thus:

Before the reckoning and the establishment of our current government, The Mindset and its technological advances were seperate from the wider world for over 250 years. During this time, all scientific advances were made with no connections to outside research.

Since our nation has a long history of smart people and a strict dedication to education, our technology is based on extremely different technologies than other nations of the same size and age.

When we finally opened our borders, just 85 years ago, Mindsettian citizens expressed a need for something called 'TV'.

Our technology that drives our television is not compatible with any pirate broadcasts that The Resi Corporation may have done - The interpolated 8Tb Double-Encryption of our fibreoptic TV networks, and the lack of dependancy on radio waves makes us immune to such hacking.



So, we conclude that we were unaffected. If you attempt to hack out encryption algorithms, prepare to have your head implode from the complexity.

We donate 50 million dollars towards Resi's propaganda effort.

Thank you!

We will put that $50 million towards the purchase of a BUMP!

BUMP

{Bump; For Historical Value}

OOC: Maybe, this should be archived?