NationStates Jolt Archive


Realm looking for SWEET PIRATE NINJAS

09-01-2003, 23:21
We are The Realm of Unholy Badass Pirate Ninjas, and yes, we are quite excellent.
:twisted:

Why are we excellent? you may ask. Well my friend, I will tell you:

Imagine.....you're on an enormous luxury liner bound for a tropical locale on an expensive and luxurious cruise. It is late, and you are out on the balcony with your significant other, admiring a most picturesque scene as the sun throws crimson and gold into the sky as it sets. The time is right, you lean in for that most perfect of kisses...

When SUDDENLY you are surrounded by figures in black. You panic, thinking the intruders are terrorists, but oh no, my friend, these are no mere terrorists. These are Pirate Ninjas, the ones nearest you happening to be the most unholy and badass of them all. Your body seizes up as you recognize the trademark ninja garb, eye patch, and shoulder-mounted parrot. Yes my friend, you are in serious trouble.

For unholy badass pirate ninjas are ruthless. They will kill you because you exist. I once saw a pirate ninja kill someone from dropping change. A guy who didn't hold the elevator for a pirate ninja was found 3 days later, distributed between blenders in the Kitchen-Wares section of a supermarket. A little girl accidentally bumped into a pirate ninja, and he killed the girl's entire family, including second-cousins.

We are not to be messed with, my friend, oh no.

So, if you think you are badass enough to be an Unholy Badass Pirate Ninja, then join our realm.

We are really sweet.
09-01-2003, 23:29
Seriously, we'll just kill you for fun and not think twice.

We'd sneak in under cover a smoke bomb, quickly dispatch of you with our ninja swords (quite easily actually, the eye patch doesn't really affect our depth perception), and then casually go out to Denny's or something for a burger and maybe a milkshake.

It's not even funny. Almost.
09-01-2003, 23:31
Seriously, we'll just kill you for fun and not think twice.

We'd sneak in under cover a smoke bomb, quickly dispatch of you with our ninja swords (quite easily actually, the eye patch doesn't really affect our depth perception), and then casually go out to Denny's or something for a burger and maybe a milkshake.

It's not even funny. Almost.