Allanea
16-06-2007, 13:56
Official Announcement from the United States Elections Committee
We are proud to report that, in a new election, a new President of the United States has been chosen, and a new cabinet selected. This cabinet will be composed almost entirely of new personnel, excepting Gregory House, who will remain as Vice-President due to the general popularity of that man abroad.
The new President is Friedrich Goldwasser, a member of the Republican party. He is known to hold, among other things, the following views on foreign and internal policy.
~~On Miriel nos Feanor, the Queen of Allanea:
“Look, I realize she’s a great woman. I in no way want to diminish the importance of her reforms, however – and this is important – I think there should be some more public scrutiny of the offices established under her, especially the Department of Health.”
~~On Menelmacar and the C’tan:
“This is a complex subject. On one hand, I would like to say I believe that the elves and the necrontyr are our friends. On the other hand, it is perhaps unhealthy for us to do everything they say. I believe firmly that they should respect us more. They listen to the Kajali, they should listen to us, too.”
~~On the Department of State:
“It needs reform. All our foreign policy needs reform. I hope the internal reforms that the Secretary of State has ordered will be completed soon and we will be able to observe the consequences on our trade and national security.”
~~On the military:
“Our boys in uniform need more guns, they need more tanks, they need better training and they need better salaries. They don’t just need one of those things. As such, when I’m president, I will demand a new Federal Budget, of which at least 70% will be dedicated to the Department of Defense.”
~~On the Graves Crisis:
“The Pantocratorians have known, this is without doubt, that there were hostages on the helicopters, and they fired upon them anyway. Then they decided that bombing the location of the hostages with cluster munitions, thrice. The fact that we are dealing with a country that thinks that this is a legitimate counter-terrorist tactic and creates deranged conspiracy theories about Allaneans being behind this plot… worries me, okay?”
~~On Doomingsland:
“We must crush, kill, and destroy these mofos. We must fund anybody who will kill Doomani, and give them a free hand to operate. And let that hand get tired with machete chops, let the fingers on that hand ache from pulling triggers, let there be no respite and no mercy to the catholic scum that caused the murder of Reverend Graves, massacred the Kahanistani, committed countless other crimes around the globe.”
On the Midlonians
~~”The Midlonians are not like us, true. They’re completely unlike us. And yet, if we want peace and stability – and we want peace and stability – in Haven, we must reopen relations with them. I call on the Midlonian government to send their emissaries to Liberty-City to speak to us, or, failing that, to receive ours.”
We are proud to report that, in a new election, a new President of the United States has been chosen, and a new cabinet selected. This cabinet will be composed almost entirely of new personnel, excepting Gregory House, who will remain as Vice-President due to the general popularity of that man abroad.
The new President is Friedrich Goldwasser, a member of the Republican party. He is known to hold, among other things, the following views on foreign and internal policy.
~~On Miriel nos Feanor, the Queen of Allanea:
“Look, I realize she’s a great woman. I in no way want to diminish the importance of her reforms, however – and this is important – I think there should be some more public scrutiny of the offices established under her, especially the Department of Health.”
~~On Menelmacar and the C’tan:
“This is a complex subject. On one hand, I would like to say I believe that the elves and the necrontyr are our friends. On the other hand, it is perhaps unhealthy for us to do everything they say. I believe firmly that they should respect us more. They listen to the Kajali, they should listen to us, too.”
~~On the Department of State:
“It needs reform. All our foreign policy needs reform. I hope the internal reforms that the Secretary of State has ordered will be completed soon and we will be able to observe the consequences on our trade and national security.”
~~On the military:
“Our boys in uniform need more guns, they need more tanks, they need better training and they need better salaries. They don’t just need one of those things. As such, when I’m president, I will demand a new Federal Budget, of which at least 70% will be dedicated to the Department of Defense.”
~~On the Graves Crisis:
“The Pantocratorians have known, this is without doubt, that there were hostages on the helicopters, and they fired upon them anyway. Then they decided that bombing the location of the hostages with cluster munitions, thrice. The fact that we are dealing with a country that thinks that this is a legitimate counter-terrorist tactic and creates deranged conspiracy theories about Allaneans being behind this plot… worries me, okay?”
~~On Doomingsland:
“We must crush, kill, and destroy these mofos. We must fund anybody who will kill Doomani, and give them a free hand to operate. And let that hand get tired with machete chops, let the fingers on that hand ache from pulling triggers, let there be no respite and no mercy to the catholic scum that caused the murder of Reverend Graves, massacred the Kahanistani, committed countless other crimes around the globe.”
On the Midlonians
~~”The Midlonians are not like us, true. They’re completely unlike us. And yet, if we want peace and stability – and we want peace and stability – in Haven, we must reopen relations with them. I call on the Midlonian government to send their emissaries to Liberty-City to speak to us, or, failing that, to receive ours.”