NationStates Jolt Archive

Little is known by the public of the elusive Bjornoyan Patriarch. His pictures and portraits are scattered about Bjornoya (not by his command, merely by his admirers) and his voice is heard occasionally whenever a minor crisis occurs within the very stable nation. But who is Patriarch Sedaht Rand? Below are some classified documents of his mundane daily accomplishments, not released to the public.

-Succesfully synthesized 3 new elements, including the one he named after his family, Randium.

-Was undefeated in a non-lethal, but very bloody tournament of martial arts held in his private arena within the depths of Esthar. The Patriarch has trained privately with various honorable trainers from the far east, mastering kusarigamajutsu, bōjutsu, sōjutsu, ninja ken, and taijutsu.

- Brewed a delicious new hefeweizen, sold under the brand name of 'Shepard's Staff.'

- Completed the works of Hegel, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Heideggar, and Sartre, and is currently working on a critique of existentialism. The book is humoursly titled, "Nothingness does not Exist!"

- Adopted a stray labrador retriever which was wandering outside of his private library (he named the dog Maximillian)

- Compiled a collage of various pictures taken from the streets, skies, waters, and from space of random regions of Bjornoya. The piece was met with approving reviews from well respected art-critics.

More will be revealed in time.

- First man to successfully synthesize anti-matter, which is being stored by the B.N.R.F. at about 1 microgram/year.

- Started the Bjornoyan Internet program (.bj) and aided with its spread throughout Bjornoya.

- Can draw objects in four dimensions.

- Has travelled (secretly) to every Bjornoyan colony, including every island chain and individual regions within the Federal States.

- Earned $3B from stock sales in a single day (he gave the proceeds to aide in upgrading elementary schools in Bjornoyan Zanzibar)

- Has learned Bjornoyan, French, Italian, Latin, Spanish, English, German, Russian, and Norwegian.

- Suffers from sever cases of Erotophobia, Asymmetriphobia, and Aphenphosmphobia, and minor cases of Acrophobia, Tachophobia, Sociophobia, Aichmophobia, Apeirophobia, Eleutherophobia, Demophobia, and Taphephobia.

- Every morning drinks Arabian coffee mixed with a European liquor (usually amaretto).

OOC: Shall I assume this is propaganda? If so, it's pretty good, and rather amusing. BTW, antimatter has already been made IRL...

OOC: Shall I assume this is propaganda? If so, it's pretty good, and rather amusing. BTW, antimatter has already been made IRL...

OOC: Yeah, but I'm gonna make the claim anyway cuz it's random and amusing. Propoganda? I think I'll call it 'government giving itself a pat on the back.'

-Frequently hand carves large wooden chains, his longest yet measures 30 feet.

-Keeps his own herb garden, growing both normal and exotic plants.

-Fixes his own meals, drives his own cars, and dresses himself.

-Favorite painting is 'Der Schrei' by Edvard Munch.

-Goes out of his way to avoid stepping on cracks in the cement.

-Does not own a cell phone.

-Sleeps approximatelly 7 hours a night, from 23:00 to 06:00.

-Favorite candy is Starburst (Tropical variety).

-Favorite soda is Dr. Pepper.

- Has and maintains an excellent metabolism. He weighs 154 pounds, and has not varied by more or less than 5 pounds from this since the revolution.

- Refuses to take pain-killers or anesthetics for he views them as a means for the cowardly and weak to escape reality. Fortunatelly he has not needed surgery (yet).

- Can hold his breath for 1 minute, 47 seconds.

- Maintains a clean shaven face, except for two neatly trimmed sideburns that extend past his ears.

- Hates dancing.

- Enjoys hound hunting, falconry, and ferreting.

- Plays the piano, violin, harp, and flute.

- Collects precious stones; his favorites include topaz, sapphires, and diamonds.

(OOC: Reminds me of Kim Il Sung if you want to use this the North Koreans may sue you, so use at your own risk fighting 10,000 [iirc] battles against the Japanese (comes out to something like 30 a day, and he never really fought), has a special flower that only blooms on his birthday (which is in the middle of winter) can cross a river on a piece of paper, etc.

Are you planning on building an extra lane on every road for his use, even though he rarely leaves government buildings, Kim did.)

(OOC: Reminds me of Kim Il Sung if you want to use this the North Koreans may sue you, so use at your own risk fighting 10,000 [iirc] battles against the Japanese (comes out to something like 30 a day, and he never really fought), has a special flower that only blooms on his birthday (which is in the middle of winter) can cross a river on a piece of paper, etc.

Are you planning on building an extra lane on every road for his use, even though he rarely leaves government buildings, Kim did.)

OOC: This is funny; I'm trying to keep his claims somewhat credible, but border on the insane. The Patriarch is insane in the sense that he has an 'abnormal psychology,' but it is driven towards the creative (synthesis of elements, education, art) instead of the consuming and indulgent (has his own private walkways throughout Bjornoya, rents a room in every hotel in Bjornoya just in case, etc.)
That flower thing I'll probably build off but make more believable.

- Genetically engineered a certain 'invincible' unicellular diatom that if released could destroy the ecosystem of relativelly warm water oceans. The creature is capable of incorporating heavy metals into its shell.

- Can ride a unicycle.

- Has a beautiful tenor voice, and sings regularly. His favorite piece to sing is Brahms' 'How Lovely is thy Dwelling Place.'

- Has spent millions restoring historic sites throughout Bjornoya, including various castles, cathedrals, and the catacombs of Necropolis.

- Plans on going into outer-space within the next 5 years as soon as the Bjornoyan Space Program gets on its feet.

What do the Patriarch's phobias translate to?