NationStates Jolt Archive

It was big......

The fleet made no sounds as it cruised through space. Grav-wells formed and reformed around the masses of ships there. Such distinguished ships as That-Really-Quite-Large-One and OMGIT'SENORMOUS! (All punctuation included) and of course the World-Killing-Marrow-Crunch-Thing. They were all flagships named by their commander's first words after laying eyes on them. Less explicit, yet still famous, ship names included the Hamcrusher, Betty-So-Good, Belfast Brigade, and of course.......The Donkey Riding.

It was important..........

Abnormal readings on everything had been reported for a moment or more. The navs were strained. Everyone at Ant Foothill station was most perplexed when the OMGIT'SENORMOUS! stop could barely get a word through. Ant Foothill went quite after that. So the good people at Beetle Foothill promptly told the government everyone should panic.

What the hell was it doing on his desk.......

Of course no one had been truly nervous until Ri Fergus Mlullan, the captain of Victor's Teeth, hadn't contacted California and asked for some refreshment on the pumpkin based foodstuff that he always carried with him. The fact that he hadn't checked in was disconcerting. Then the Xenners and Saint had popped out onto a loading dock trillions of kilometers from where she was last reported. The crew were fine but the said they'd been separated from the main fleet when The Grandmother Heavy Transport, owing to the Camel Eaters belief that Grandmothers can actually carry several times their own bodymass on their backs whether it take the form of furniture or pile of clothes, had stopped off at Snapdragon Refuel to......refuel and because it was almost hostile space and because Xenners and Saints is a gunship..... The crew of the Xenners and Saints reported that after the Grandmother left Snapdragon they could not hail the fleet and decided to make a break for California. Apparently the Grandmother was docked there. The Xenners tried a basic gut-ripper, named because of the sensation one gets while using its wonderful transportation abilities, they apparently appeared a long way off their course.

Once again he says to himself. Why is this on my desk?

OOC: So.....you think you can take my FT? Let's see if ya can. Bastards!
You'll be doing things. Like investigating and then joining in the discovery of what's out there.

Marshal Rose Torusumi should have been home by now, she had taken all the most obvious routes to the Workers State. As it was, she was now lost.

One of the crewmen said, "Serves you right. Damn Army bit*h, trying to steer a ship."

Rose said, "Shut up."

They meandered along, trying to get home, using all manner of stars and whatnot to try and steer themselves back. Then, they noticed a few abnormal signals....like something had just come near them...the Acolytes were feeling something very absurdly comical and different, and noticed something was amiss.

Torusumi knew this was a diversion that would cost them fuel, but she ordered an investigation....this could get ugly....

Something very weird happened. California picked something up. Something very large and ship-ish. In-system fighters were dispatched and they cruised......VERY SILENTLY!!!!!!!! through space. Right until the bumped into something very large and ship-ish that hadn't been there before. When I say very large I mean large to an in-system fighter, which is actually about the size of a four person couch with enough room for half a set of legs. There were currently two women inside.

"Hey Rallah, ummm........looks like we hit another ship." This was generally the time when people that knew Rallah would've hid. On an in-system fighter there is no hiding room.

"WHAT THE BOLLOCKS! YOU STUPID WHORE WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST STEER US OUT OF THE WAY!" Rallah was the gunner. A very good one at that. The sort of gunner that can pick individuals in suits off from many, many thousands of kilometers away with half a gun coolant system and a wounded pilot.

"Well I didn't see it!" Candice was now pleading for her life as Rallah's face grew just a little bit closer to pure blackness in her anger.

"START THE SHIP THEN!"

"We actually can't." Had there been sound in space many people would've heard Rallah scream bloody, evil murder.

"Fine what can we do then?" She said calming down.

"Hail that nice looking ship that we came out here to investigate."

[To said ship......
Would you mind being dears and picking us up then?]

Torusumi thought, "Wow, I'm surprided they didn't see the others....but I suppose, if they hit us, that's all they'd see."

She then said, replying to the message: "This is the NDS Leon Trotsky. I am Rose Torusumi, Marshal in the New Dornalian Red Army. You're welcome to get onboard. We'll move you inside."

A Gagarin shuttle then went out, and attached a tow line to the California, which was dragged into Hangar Bay 2. A platoon of Naval Infantry soon greeted them, along with a medical team.

"You know.....I just realized something. The name of their ship class is the exact same as the name of this planet."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Did not notice that."

A few miles eastward planetside at the Barillo Air Force Base many, many people were getting rather moxed. Something fermented and beer tasting was being passed along with much screaming, shouting, and cheering to go with it. The newest underclassmen had just graduated from the lowerclassmen program and would soon go on their first thinner mission. They all knew what this meant. Those who didn't cut it in the Outblack, the Camel name for deep space, didn't cut it here. While most settlers could convince themselves that this rock was just as good as their soil back Earthside the pilots knew that their home was laying down on a bunk in deep, deep Outblack.......fighting and searching and patrolling and rolling. They'd shake a leg over to Carpenter's Foothill and then down to Lambshanks on Los Angeles. That was a week from now. For now they'd be allowed to get over getting wasted piss ass drunk.

VERY LOUD SIRENS greeted them suddenly from their drunken stupor strewn over the desert colored floor. They tried to stand but most couldn't. Those that did just realized something. Someone was near California and someone would probably go see what it was. Then the rest of those someone's who weren't would need to support them. Tomato Potato Henderson staggered against a wall as the real fighters rushed past to clear the engine docks before everyone else did. Something was happening and he wanted to see maybe......then he pissed himself and passed out again.

Fallah and Candice exited and looked around. Fallah almost opened her mouth but Candice kicked her and in her nicest most diplomatic please-don't-kill-us voice said.
"Ya know.....umm.....hi!"

The medical team then said, pleading in that voice that said, "I'm a cop using verbal judo", "Ma'am, sir, please let us into the vehicle. We need to perform an exam to ensure no new diseases get in."

Torusumi went down there, meanwhile, to see the newcomers for herself.

"Diseases! Why I'll show you diseases you git!" Fallah shouted and then tried to advance before Candice grimaced, crossed herself once, and stabbed her with a long syringe that was filled with all manner of things that knock people out.

"I think she was implying that you were implying that she was a slut. Sorry about that though." Candice looked around for a moment and then smiled.

"Well there she is. Take a look around and I'll drag Fallah over her if you don't mind."

The medical team looked at themselves, shrugged, and began scanning the ship, giving it a once-over with scanners and tricorders (yes, medical tricorders). One of them motioned for Candice to bring Fallah over for scanning, and for Candice to be scanned as well.

Meanwhile, Torusumi looked the ship over, and then said to the crew inside, "Sorry about this, this is just standard procedure....after all, we haven't quite met."

"Oh right, sorry I'm Candice and this is Fallah. We're both on that in-system fighter. It's a bit cramped I know. But that's why it's in-system. We're from California actually.....see that big planet over.....well there isn't a window in here. But the planet is part of Camel Eaters. Mayhap y'all have heard of them? Don't know if you have. Anytways.......Oh you need to scan us? Well just don't get cheeky or else I fear Fallah would kill all of you when she awoke. Okay......that's a nice ray thingy isn't it?"

She talked alot.

"Oh right, sorry I'm Candice and this is Fallah. We're both on that in-system fighter. It's a bit cramped I know. But that's why it's in-system. We're from California actually.....see that big planet over.....well there isn't a window in here. But the planet is part of Camel Eaters. Mayhap y'all have heard of them? Don't know if you have. Anytways.......Oh you need to scan us? Well just don't get cheeky or else I fear Fallah would kill all of you when she awoke. Okay......that's a nice ray thingy isn't it?"

She talked alot.

Torusumi said, "Well, I'm from California also. Not your same Cali, mind. I come from Earth SSR, Los Angeles way. Camel Eaters, eh? How'd we end up there? Technically, you'se guys ain't on any of our star maps."

She then said, "Well, its procedure, again. Don't worry, we won't get invasive without your consent."

She eyed the other lady quite candidly. "And if we want you to be invasive?"

She'd learned this in Capture and Release Class. Get sexual if you had too. Make it personal and they couldn't kill you so easily.........

She eyed the other lady quite candidly. "And if we want you to be invasive?"

She'd learned this in Capture and Release Class. Get sexual if you had too. Make it personal and they couldn't kill you so easily.........

Torusumi said, giving a look of "WTF?": "Well, then I'd be a perv, and then my Commissar would have killed me or taken over. Not to mention the diplomatic troubles involved."

She then said, "Anyway, I get plenty of service, thanks."