NationStates Jolt Archive

Conganvanian Minister Of Health: "After the relocation of our entire nation of Conganvania to a new region, an epidemic of jet lag has brought chaos and destruction to out once peacfull land. 340 Conganvanians have been killed in rioting in the capital. Nearly the entire Conganvanian pharmesuticals industry has been destroyed by looting and militia units have left there positions on the border to raid nabouring nations for asperin.

We need aid in order to repare the damage done to our econemy and infustructure, but above all we need painkillers, lots of painkillers, if no painkillers are availeble then we are prepared to accept alcoholic beverages."

Conganvanian Minister Of Defence: "We would also like some kind f short term peace keeping force, the defence force, 100.6 strong if you include legless harry, is unable to maintain order in the nation. Any militery aid would be apreciated.

On the issue of the militia raid, the militia are attacking without orders, we plead with our nabour states not to crush us underfoot like the tiny bugs we are becasue of the actions of afew jet lagged reservists"

Wolfish will provide aid...

*A B52H flies overhead, its bombay doors open and dump well-sealed cups of coffee - a second bomber follows behind raining down little packets of sugar - sure enough - close behind the second is a third B52 dropping cows in need of milking.*

You're welcome.

come on people - that was bloody funny.

Conganvanian Minister Of Caffene: "Truly you are a friend of Conganvania, nothing apeases the raving masses like fallin bovine!"

Ugh, those Wolfish heathen who stick their grimy fingers in their coffee to stir it!

A Hatchibombitarian Sea Stallion hovers daintily over the drop zone as the loadmaster shoves out a pallete of wooden stir sticks.

(When you're done with the cow, you can boil her hooves and bones to make glue. Those stir sticks are great for craft projects!)

Conganvanian Minister Of Health: "The jetlag enduced violence is starting to ease in most parts of the country, however we are getting wierd reports from the south of security forces being attaked with stir sticks...no one knows why, althou there effectiveness is making our government consider intergrating stir stick based warheads into our arsenal. We are also getting uncomfirmed reports of a 3000% increase in glue sniffing. No one nos where the glue is comming from, but the securety force is so out of it on glue and so jittery on coffe that we have decided we do not have the reasources to comabt this new threat. Also, 400 people where killed by falling cows, for some reason, someoen forgot to attach parachutes to them."

Twelve 'Trannies' (Special amospheric cargo shuttles) begin a lazy descent towards the LZ - The Space/Airport in Conganvania. As they descend, the Aircraft Commander switches on the communications and radios down to the 'port.

'This is Transport Flight Cambol. We are coming in hot and are carrying medical supplies, cremation units, about 100 tonnes of processed food cubes, and specialised personel. We await your clearance.'

In truth, there was another cargo aboard. A platoon of SECDEF Commandoes. Command personel included. The Trannies also carried Beltaine class Plasma Bombs. Enough to make any would-be revolutionary think twice.

'We await your clearance.'

Conganvanian Ground Control: "You are clear to land....apart from the fact we are to poor to aford a runway...or an airport for that matter, they just tell me to sit on this hill with a radio and make static noises at pssing planes. Try not to make to much of a mess when you land."

'AC Acknowledges.' What the hell, he'd landed on a piece of rock barely twelve metres in length. This was no problem.

The Trannies landed unceremoniously, and began setting up base. Soon afterwards, the Commandoes moved out into the surrounding terrain, compression guns slung back behind them. After that, The fourth Trannie, curiously shaped with odd extensions on either side of its aerodynamic hull, lifted off, and sped off towards the city, ETA twelve minutes.

We will send 25,000 doses of painkillers and a peace keeping force of 1,000.

OOC: Very good... I'm sorry I never thought of this idea.

ETA: 8 minutes.

'AC. This is Hati. We're coming up on what look like primitive anti-air weaponry. They have not detected us as of yet. Permission to engage?'

'Denied, Hati. Continue to city. Find a good place to hide, and await my instructions.'

***

The commandoes quickly overrun a small revolutionary house, featuring twelve nervous ministers and two armed loyalists. They pump the minsters for information, and make ready to set off again, but not before radioing in a Trannie to pick up the now bound ministers.

5 tonnes of Nutrasweet on the way (we don't like that stuff, giving it away).

The nation of Itakeitall offers its own special blend of iced pee... err tea... for your consumption! We will be bottling it up and sending it in shortly!

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Agent Red: Haha, this is a great way to deal with our sewage problem!
Agent Onyx: What could we do with the rest of our stuff?
Agent Red: Snackmix!

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