America the American
03-06-2004, 17:10
Now, we at The United States of America the American, Mighty Capitalist Superpower™ are quite against abortion. In fact, it is illegal in our nation.
But that is not why we appeal to you, our fellow nations in the UN, to vote against the abortion bill today.
We appeal to you all to reject this bill for several reasons other than our particular national dislike of the murder of the unborn. We appeal to you with three fundamental objections, based on simple principles of international politics.
1.) "Get your laws off my nation!"
The domestic laws of other nations are their own business. This should be obvious. It is called national sovereignty.
If some nation in the UN wants to make murder legal, then fine! Let them! But don't force their law onto _every_ UN nation. That is what this bill does - it takes the legal codification of the moral standards of the most liberal nations in the UN and forces those regulations on the rest of the world. Sovereignty is vital, and if the UN intrudes into national sovereignty too far, this body will no longer be an international forum for independent nation states, but the UN will itself become one giant Super State, with the laws of all individual UN nations replaced by UN Law.
The UN should exist for international purposes, and should not interfere in the domestic affaris and arrangements within nations. For example, it should facilitate international trade, set the protocols on international shipping, decide on whether international environmental regulations are necessary, set rules of war, defend member nations against foreign aggression, combat international terrorism, and deal with other such issues that extend beyond the borders of one or a few nations, and as such are truly international issues.
If you want to legalize abortion in your nation, the UN should not stop you. Nor should the UN stop you if you want to ban abortion in your nation. Nor should the UN interfere if you want some policy in between these extremes.
2.) It is vague.
This bill asserts that women must be allowed to have abortions, but it doesn't even explain whether this means that every UN nation must provide abortions free of charge, which is a common pro-abortion demand but not made explicit here. One could argue either way, that the bill forces UN nations to allow women to legally have abortions but not to pay for them, or one could argue that by not providing them free of charge, the nation is "preventing" poor women from access to abortions.
That is just the beginning. The bill is so vague, so non-specific, and leaves so many glaring issues unaddressed, that it is totally useless.
3.) It is unenforceable.
If this legislation is passed, The United States of America the American, Mighty Capitalist Superpower™ will not change its culture or its history in one day. It would require a permanent armed occupation by UN troops to force our nation to accept this insult to our laws, our traditions, our morality, our ethics, and our God.
If this is passed, it would have to be enforced by sending invading armies into a sizeable minority of UN nations like ours who will not voluntarily adopt this foreign law. The UN simply does not command enough military force to occupy such a large minority of its member nations permanently.
Even if the UN forces us to comply by invading our country, or threatens us with expulsion from the UN for failure to comply, it will still not work. The administrative staffers who must be hired by the occupation forces will have to be drawn from the ranks of trained administrators in our nation, who will remain America the Americans, and thus will fight implementation of this legislation with intentional bureaucratic inefficiency, work slowdowns, "losing" paperwork, and various other means of sabotage from within. America the American doctors will not perform the murders asked of them, any more than they would perform dangerous experiments on unwilling victims at the behest of invading Nazis.
Even if the UN imports doctors and administrators to carry out the abortions following an invasion, or following our reluctant and bureacratically inefficient implementation following threatened expulsion from the UN, your invading army of abortionists will face massive popular resistance, ranging from crowds of people surrounding and blocking access to abortion clinics with their bodies, to widespread guerilla warfare against the foreign abortion army.
We have had to deal with this sort of chaos ever since the narrow passage of the UN-mandated 40 Hour Work Week bill. Employees are working illegally, under the table, in order to evade this absurd legislation, because they need work and employers cannot profitably pay them the mandated overtime rate. Some of our nation's most industrious workers insist on working more than the UN mandated 80 hour maximum - they continue to work under the table. Our businesses ignore the requirements, as there is no penalty included in the 40 Hour Work Week bill for breaking them. Our government administrators do not enforce the hated law, always having more pressing business to attend to.
When UN labor inspectors come by, everyone makes an effort to make things look "in order," but as soon as they are gone, it is back to normal for The United States of America the American, Mighty Capitalist Superpower™. Some UN labor inspectors have even disappeared, rumored to have been kidnapped or murdered by extreme right paramilitary groups or organized crime hired by employers (though, since the UN inspectors are unionized bureaucrats, the most inefficient and lazy members of the human species, it is just as likely that they are busy getting drunk on the UN dime). Ultimately, all these shenanigans just introduce a ridiculous and unpopular layer of bureaucracy and inefficiency to our entire economy.
For these three reasons, (1) national sovereignty, (2) vagueness, and (3) the impossibility of effective implementation, whether your nation supports or prevents abortion within its own borders, all responsible and reasonable UN nations and regional delegates MUST OPPOSE THE ABORTION ACT.
Cordially,
Richard Held
Secretary of Homeland Counter-Insurgency
The United States of America the American
Mighty Capitalist Superpower™
But that is not why we appeal to you, our fellow nations in the UN, to vote against the abortion bill today.
We appeal to you all to reject this bill for several reasons other than our particular national dislike of the murder of the unborn. We appeal to you with three fundamental objections, based on simple principles of international politics.
1.) "Get your laws off my nation!"
The domestic laws of other nations are their own business. This should be obvious. It is called national sovereignty.
If some nation in the UN wants to make murder legal, then fine! Let them! But don't force their law onto _every_ UN nation. That is what this bill does - it takes the legal codification of the moral standards of the most liberal nations in the UN and forces those regulations on the rest of the world. Sovereignty is vital, and if the UN intrudes into national sovereignty too far, this body will no longer be an international forum for independent nation states, but the UN will itself become one giant Super State, with the laws of all individual UN nations replaced by UN Law.
The UN should exist for international purposes, and should not interfere in the domestic affaris and arrangements within nations. For example, it should facilitate international trade, set the protocols on international shipping, decide on whether international environmental regulations are necessary, set rules of war, defend member nations against foreign aggression, combat international terrorism, and deal with other such issues that extend beyond the borders of one or a few nations, and as such are truly international issues.
If you want to legalize abortion in your nation, the UN should not stop you. Nor should the UN stop you if you want to ban abortion in your nation. Nor should the UN interfere if you want some policy in between these extremes.
2.) It is vague.
This bill asserts that women must be allowed to have abortions, but it doesn't even explain whether this means that every UN nation must provide abortions free of charge, which is a common pro-abortion demand but not made explicit here. One could argue either way, that the bill forces UN nations to allow women to legally have abortions but not to pay for them, or one could argue that by not providing them free of charge, the nation is "preventing" poor women from access to abortions.
That is just the beginning. The bill is so vague, so non-specific, and leaves so many glaring issues unaddressed, that it is totally useless.
3.) It is unenforceable.
If this legislation is passed, The United States of America the American, Mighty Capitalist Superpower™ will not change its culture or its history in one day. It would require a permanent armed occupation by UN troops to force our nation to accept this insult to our laws, our traditions, our morality, our ethics, and our God.
If this is passed, it would have to be enforced by sending invading armies into a sizeable minority of UN nations like ours who will not voluntarily adopt this foreign law. The UN simply does not command enough military force to occupy such a large minority of its member nations permanently.
Even if the UN forces us to comply by invading our country, or threatens us with expulsion from the UN for failure to comply, it will still not work. The administrative staffers who must be hired by the occupation forces will have to be drawn from the ranks of trained administrators in our nation, who will remain America the Americans, and thus will fight implementation of this legislation with intentional bureaucratic inefficiency, work slowdowns, "losing" paperwork, and various other means of sabotage from within. America the American doctors will not perform the murders asked of them, any more than they would perform dangerous experiments on unwilling victims at the behest of invading Nazis.
Even if the UN imports doctors and administrators to carry out the abortions following an invasion, or following our reluctant and bureacratically inefficient implementation following threatened expulsion from the UN, your invading army of abortionists will face massive popular resistance, ranging from crowds of people surrounding and blocking access to abortion clinics with their bodies, to widespread guerilla warfare against the foreign abortion army.
We have had to deal with this sort of chaos ever since the narrow passage of the UN-mandated 40 Hour Work Week bill. Employees are working illegally, under the table, in order to evade this absurd legislation, because they need work and employers cannot profitably pay them the mandated overtime rate. Some of our nation's most industrious workers insist on working more than the UN mandated 80 hour maximum - they continue to work under the table. Our businesses ignore the requirements, as there is no penalty included in the 40 Hour Work Week bill for breaking them. Our government administrators do not enforce the hated law, always having more pressing business to attend to.
When UN labor inspectors come by, everyone makes an effort to make things look "in order," but as soon as they are gone, it is back to normal for The United States of America the American, Mighty Capitalist Superpower™. Some UN labor inspectors have even disappeared, rumored to have been kidnapped or murdered by extreme right paramilitary groups or organized crime hired by employers (though, since the UN inspectors are unionized bureaucrats, the most inefficient and lazy members of the human species, it is just as likely that they are busy getting drunk on the UN dime). Ultimately, all these shenanigans just introduce a ridiculous and unpopular layer of bureaucracy and inefficiency to our entire economy.
For these three reasons, (1) national sovereignty, (2) vagueness, and (3) the impossibility of effective implementation, whether your nation supports or prevents abortion within its own borders, all responsible and reasonable UN nations and regional delegates MUST OPPOSE THE ABORTION ACT.
Cordially,
Richard Held
Secretary of Homeland Counter-Insurgency
The United States of America the American
Mighty Capitalist Superpower™